# Ever get the feeling that a buttfuck was imminent? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 6, 2006, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275 "2006-02-06T19:04:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/21 "2006-02-06T23:14:54Z")
Call [Hamazon.com](http://Hamazon.com) back and suggest that they send you a new set immediately by the fastest method possible to your location no shipping charge, with the understanding that you are sending the bad set back for credit. You shouldn’t have to wait for them to get the bad back before they send the replacement. Immediately send the bad set back for credit. New set comes in a couple of days and you still have a fortnight minus a couple of days to watch cartoons. In the mean time read a book or something. If this is too hard, since this is the pit, go Feck yerself, (in the butt if you so choose 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/22 "2006-02-06T23:18:57Z")
Amazon must have changed their policy (if this is indeed Amazon). The time I received a faulty dvd from them, they shipped me the new set before I had to send one back. Perhaps they’ve been defrauded too many times by this sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/23 "2006-02-06T23:39:15Z")
ok, a few points; I’m not spending my vacation watching re-runs of a cartoon, I’ve never watched Futurama, but I like it’s style. What I’ve watched so far is hilarious. its nice now that I have time I can watch shows. If I was working, i’d land home wrecked, and fall asleep in the middle of an episode. My days now are full of watching dvd’s, playing videogames, working on my new play, going to the gym. Truth be known, I’m having a blast. This is the first real vacation I’ve had on years… In all honesty, I’m considering not going back to work. I dont want to send the whole set back because that would leave me with NO futurama to watch for the majority of my vacation. This does not appeal to me. I would rather they sent me the missing disc by this time next week or so, by then I should have all other episodes watched. I work in retail, so I dont expect them to go split a new set for me, far from it. The one compromise is that they just send me season 4 (All seasons are individually boxed inside the main cover, and they are the same as the individual retail boxes) and I could send them my faulty season 4. problem solved, no? Of course, this deal would be easier to make with a living, breathing human instead of the automated responses I have gotten thus far, all of which have been of the “We look forward to correcting the error that has occured. Your custom is important to us. Please hold the line” nature. Like I said, i’ve never had a problem with amazon (for it is they) in the past, and would be disapointed if they dont come good here. I probably would have it sorted by now, if they hadnt sent me an email saying they would “sort it out in three to four working days”. Again, its the lack of human response thats further complicating the situation. If i could just deal with a person, instead of these infernal machines!! Oh, and on the anal issue, I am using buttfuck as a metaphor, I dont really think that I’m about to be buttfucked. I have never been buttfucked. I did have a colonic once. It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe a buttfucking wouldnt be all that bad. I might get a strap on for Hardship(T.M.). Know any good online retailers? ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/24 "2006-02-06T23:49:32Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Do you honestly think it’s _illegal_ to complain about a specific store by name? I’ve been walking on eggshells round here for a while. Trying not to piss off any more people than is absolutley neccesary. > [@bubastis](#): > > A stranger fucking me in the ass. Well, I’ll be. This is a big lebowski reference. > [@lissener](#): > > For people like bubastis, the thrill is in the “stranger” part. He’s that guy you sometimes see hanging out in the men’s room, trying to get your attention. Was that a homosexual remark? ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/25 "2006-02-07T00:18:52Z")
> [@bubastis](#): > > I’ve been walking on eggshells round here for a while. Trying not to piss off any more people than is absolutley neccesary. Well if you’re going to have that kind of attitude, the Pit doesn’t need you! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/26 "2006-02-07T00:29:47Z")
Why don’t you just enjoy the rest of the box set now, and then return it for a corrected copy afterwards? You’ve got 30 days to make the exchange (and in the case of an obvious factory defect like this, Amazon probably wouldn’t even be too sticky about that time limit). True, you won’t have the satisfaction of having seen the _whole_ four seasons from beginning to end in one marathon of toon overload, but that still leaves you with a hell of a lot of Futurama to enjoy on your vacation, and it’s better than wasting your time fuming over the situation. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/27 "2006-02-07T00:49:39Z")
> [@bubastis](#): > > I’ve been walking on eggshells round here for a while. Trying not to piss off any more people than is absolutley neccesary. Ah, so you’re not worried about Hamazon suing you, you’re worried about us banning you for defaming Hamazon on our watch. Got it. :dubious: In any case, rest easy. We won’t ban you for complaining about a store by name. We might even let you criticize politicians you disagree with, if you play your cards right. ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/28 "2006-02-07T00:55:47Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > That still leaves you with a hell of a lot of Futurama to enjoy on your vacation, and it’s better than wasting your time fuming over the situation. Time spent fuming could never be considered as time wasted! :mad: But yeah, good plan. I’ve plenty to see and do. Maybe now that i’m not working, I’m making shit up to give out about. It’s what I’m used to. If you take away my ranting… Still, I wish Amazon would change their customer service to a more human approach. I would e-mail them, but I’d only get a “Thanks you for your comments. We consider each customer to be a valuable one…” bullshit which would tip me over the fuckin’ edge aggggahhhhhagggggahhhhhagggghhhh!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/29 "2006-02-07T05:20:04Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > In my Monday-addled state at first I thought he was referring to Victoria’s Secret for some reason… So did I. No idea why. (Well, there was an alterniverse issue when Diana’s in Victorian London [except Victoria’s not queen- it’s an absolutely insane king who makes women wear leashes].) And is it just me or does _Imminent Buttfuck_ sound like the name of a college punk band? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/30 "2006-02-07T05:18:54Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > In my Monday-addled state at first I thought he was referring to Victoria’s Secret for some reason… So did I. No idea why. (Well, there was an alterniverse issue when Diana’s in Victorian London [except Victoria’s not queen- it’s an absolutely insane king who makes women wear leashes].) ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/31 "2006-02-07T05:42:46Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Ah, so you’re not worried about Hamazon suing you, you’re worried about us banning you for defaming Hamazon on our watch. Got it. :dubious: > > In any case, rest easy. We won’t ban you for complaining about a store by name. We might even let you criticize politicians you disagree with, if you play your cards right. . . . so . . . he’s walking on eggshells . . . so . . . he self censors “Amazon,” but not “incredibly painful assraping.” Got it. Bizarro-world thing, right? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/32 "2006-02-07T06:03:01Z")
> [@bubastis](#): > > Besides, the futurama complete box set is huge; I really can’t be bothered to lug it to the post office, get it weighed, get a box for it, pay in cash for postage, send it off… then when they replace the missing disc over there, send it back… the case is bound to get damaged in transit, and I like to keep my things neat. The whole posting it back to them idea gives me the sick. As noted, you won’t get back the same set you return. Additionally, if you use Amazon’s return option through the site, you’ll be able to print out a postage paid label to return the set on Amazon’s dime. I had an open DVD that would not play on multiple DVD players and exchanged it. Replacement didn’t work and I returned it for credit to my credit card. You should be able to use the same box that the set shipped to you to return it, otherwise the post office will have a box you can buy for a buck or two. You will indeed have to haul your lazy ass to the post office unless you can get someone to do it for you, and can you tell how much my heart is breaking for your whiny self? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/33 "2006-02-07T06:04:45Z")
Oh, and if you go through the site Amazon will ship the replacement before it gets the original back. You’ll only be charged for both if you don’t return the original within 30 days. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/34 "2006-02-07T06:15:03Z")
Oh and hey, lookie [here](http://www.usps.com/pickup/welcome.htm?from=home&page=schedulepickup), as long as you have the original box in good enough shape to ship, you don’t even have to go to the post office to return it. Just have your carrier pick it up for you. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/35 "2006-02-07T06:18:58Z")
Oops, never mind, you’re one of those damn ferriners. [Here](http://www.anpost.ie/apg.asp), maybe your postal service offers pickup as well. ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/36 "2006-02-07T08:08:01Z")
I feel your pain, and if you were dealing with a small self-owned retailer, they might well act as you suggest. But Amazon is a huge operation, and there will be _procedures_ for everything (in a big honking file, if you’ve ever read Dilbert on ISO 9002), and the people you deal with will have absolutely no discretion at all to do what you ask. From my experience of Amazon, they will refund your postage when you send your set back, and if you complain bitterly they will give you some account credit to compensate for the inconvenience. That’s about as good as you’re going to get. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/37 "2006-02-07T08:31:51Z")
Ever get the feeling that a buttfuck was imminent? [Welcome to Citibank](http://www.citibank.co.jp/en/index.html). ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/38 "2006-02-07T08:50:41Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > . . . so . . . he’s walking on eggshells . . . so . . . he self censors “Amazon,” but not “incredibly painful assraping.” I don’t understand… are you suggesting that an ass-raping is a good thing? I always thought rape of any kind was bad. Do you have a different opinion on the subject? Hey, if you’re a rapist in your spare time, thats cool bro. Don’t bring your frustration here. ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/39 "2006-02-07T09:19:53Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > [Do you spend a lot of time on eBay?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356461&highlight=ebay) > > 'Cause from what I’m gathering from your OP, you’re basically begging Amazon to buttfuck you, and they’re playing all coy, Britney-Spears-on-a-first-date, and THAT’s what’s pissing you off. Dammit! I clicked that link, it made me remember I was expecting feedback on the hair slides I bought a couple weeks ago, went to check and make sure she’d sent it, ended up browsing cameos on velvet chokers (hubby’s been wanting to buy me some), and ended up spending 160 dollars on jewelry! And this after I spent 200 last week at Amazon and Barnes and Noble online!! _cry_ I need to forget how to shop online. I’m so good at talking myself out of stuff when I physically go to a sore, but all I have to do here is sit and lick. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275/40 "2006-02-07T09:28:40Z")
> [@Cerri](#): > > _cry_ I need to forget how to shop online. I’m so good at talking myself out of stuff when I physically go to a sore, but all I have to do here is sit and lick. ☹ CLICK! I meant click! :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-the-feeling-that-a-buttfuck-was-imminent/343275.md?page=3)