# Ever get wood during a massage? what happened next? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025 "2003-06-24T14:15:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hilltopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@hilltopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hilltopper)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/1 "2003-06-24T14:15:47Z")
For the first time, I am going to a “day spa” and getting a massage. I have no idea what the protocol is or what to expect. I am terrified I am going to be on my stomach with a big woody and she is going to say, “turn over.” Or worse I’m on my back and the sheet slowly starts to rise as I get aroused. This is a reputable spa, so I’m not expecting her to jump on board or anything. Will she be mortified? Masseuses must see it happen all the time. But how do they react? Can anyone relate a story? And what about tipping? What is Standard? Thanks ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/2 "2003-06-24T14:43:23Z")
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy - the more you think about it, the more sensitive you are to it happening, the more likely it could happen. Give into the massage - genuinely try to relax and let the massager’s hands work into your body. When that happens, I don’t have an issue at all. Ask for a male masseur, if you can. Worst-case scenario - basically, at cool, treat it as if it’s nothing and deal with your massage therapist professionally. Believe me, with the stories I have heard about farts, zits and other gross things that therapists I know have had to deal with, a bit of wood is no big. Therefore, treat it as no big, talk to them as if they were the professionals they are, and all will be right. They’re adults and can handle it. As for tipping - I go with upwards of 20% if I am really pleased. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/3 "2003-06-24T14:45:44Z")
errr - that’s “aCt cool”. And just to try to restate - when I say “give in to the massage” - I mean: a massage is about relaxing - almost meditation, right? Well, if you are focusing on the therapist’s hands and allowing them to truly relax your body, then THAT becomes your focus and you have little/nothing to worry about… ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/4 "2003-06-24T15:21:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WordMan \* > \*\*It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy - the more you think about it, the more sensitive you are to it happening, the more likely it could happen. > > Give into the massage - genuinely try to relax and let the massager’s hands work into your body. When that happens, I don’t have an issue at all. > > Ask for a male masseur, if you can. > > Worst-case scenario - basically, at cool, treat it as if it’s nothing and deal with your massage therapist professionally. Believe me, with the stories I have heard about farts, zits and other gross things that therapists I know have had to deal with, a bit of wood is no big. Therefore, treat it as no big, talk to them as if they were the professionals they are, and all will be right. They’re adults and can handle it. > > As for tipping - I go with upwards of 20% if I am really pleased. \*\* So, to sum up, he should treat his erection as no big thing. You’re gonna give him quite a complex. ---
**Author:** ![hilltopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@hilltopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hilltopper)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/5 "2003-06-24T15:37:42Z")
Mullinator - Not only “no big thing” but “little/nothing” I specifically requested a female. Maybe I’m homophobic - I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Husker\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Husker\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Husker_Dude)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/6 "2003-06-24T15:49:58Z")
Just bite your tongue and think of sports. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/7 "2003-06-24T16:16:20Z")
Masturbate beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/8 "2003-06-24T16:20:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Ever get wood during a massage? Yeah. > [@](#): > > What happened next? 'Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought it would happen to me…’ ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/9 "2003-06-24T17:17:50Z")
FWIW, I had a masseuse girlfriend for a couple of years. She told me that guys get wood all the time. The masseuses know about it, they ignore it. Don’t worry. A good full-body massage is almost other-worldly. It’s like getting your soul put through a wringer. Enjoy… ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/10 "2003-06-24T17:34:23Z")
I was given a massage as a gift when I was pregnant and the masseuse was extremely deft at draping and tucking the sheet strategically around me when I changed position. And, believe me, changing position at 8+ months was a major operation. I imagine professional massage people have similar skills when it comes to keeping their male customers relaxed and comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/11 "2003-06-24T17:44:40Z")
Never gotten it **getting** a massage, but I get wood **giving** one. We’re a pretty tight-knit group where I work, and I was asked once, “Bill, will you rub my neck for me? It’s kinda stiff.” I had to bend down and whisper, “Honey, I can’t, because if I do, then **I’ll** get stiff!” She was taken aback, but understood. I just **love** nurses! Don’t ask me why that happens. But at my age, I’m just happy that it **does**!😉 Q ---
**Author:** ![thatDDperson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de0a6/32.png) [@thatDDperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thatDDperson)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/12 "2003-06-24T18:13:49Z")
A friend just finished massage therapy school. They were taught to drape the area more heavily (thick towel) and if that didn’t help, to excuse themselves for a moment. One instructor also suggested a basin of cool water with a washcloth to be pointed out to “Mr. Woody” as the therapist steps out. The universal jake at MT school was that if you didn’t know the answer to any of the ethics questions, you should say “Do not offer to provide hand release, as this demeans our profession.” It happens all the time. Bite your tongue and think about Janet Reno. ---
**Author:** ![Qazzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/aeb1de/32.png) [@Qazzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qazzz)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/13 "2003-06-24T18:17:24Z")
Hmmmmm. I had a male friend training to be a masseuse who wanted some practice, so I offered my body. 😃 I got wood, but held out a surprisingly long time before it happened (Wordman is right in that, if you’re really into the zone of what’s going on, an erection doesn’t really have to happen). In my case, he, well, “took care of it.” I’ve never “been taken care of” that fast in my entire life. He basically touched it for about a minute and that was that. Anyway, he was a friend and I sort of expected it, but I thought I’d share. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/14 "2003-06-24T18:20:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > Yeah.'Dear Penthouse Forum, > > I never thought it would happen to me…’ Bastard stole my line;) ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/15 "2003-06-24T18:24:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Ask for a male masseur, if you can. This did NOT help me, when I had one. In my case, I didn’t have a choice, as the spa was divided into men’s and women’s sides. The thought of getting wood with some guy’s hands on me was so mind-boggling that it cancelled out the relaxation I was supposed to be getting. It was all I could think about. I was trying to make blood flow OUT of my groin with my mental powers. ---
**Author:** ![hilltopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@hilltopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hilltopper)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/16 "2003-06-24T18:26:05Z")
Hüsker Düde and thatDDperson: Where does “bite your tounge” come from? Do you mean that rhetorically or does that really work? ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/17 "2003-06-24T18:30:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Ask for a male masseur, if you can. This did NOT help me, when I had one. In my case, I didn’t have a choice, as the spa was divided into men’s and women’s sides. The thought of getting wood with some guy’s hands on me was so mind-boggling that it cancelled out the relaxation I was supposed to be getting. It was all I could think about. I was trying to make blood flow OUT of my groin with my mental powers. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/18 "2003-06-24T18:41:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Ask for a male masseur, if you can. This did NOT help me, when I had one. In my case, I didn’t have a choice, as the spa was divided into men’s and women’s sides. The thought of getting wood with some guy’s hands on me was so mind-boggling that it cancelled out the relaxation I was supposed to be getting. It was all I could think about. I was trying to make blood flow OUT of my groin with my mental powers. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/19 "2003-06-24T19:09:30Z")
A long-term ex of mine was a massage therapist (yes, he was a guy). He said it happened all the time. People have all sorts of reactions to massage: some fall asleep, some giggle, some experience emotional release and start crying, some become sexually aroused, and some do all of those during a single session. A real professional should be used to it and know how to deal with the situation tactfully. (Oh, and you’d be amazed at how many times my ex was propositioned. And believe me, he’s no boy toy.) ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/20 "2003-06-24T19:36:11Z")
A woman once told me she got a massage in some out of the way country (I forget which one) and as the guy was massaging her thighs she started to get excited and it showed and the guy kept going until she climaxed and it was all done like nothing had happened, in a most discrete and professional way. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025.md?page=2)