# Ever get wood during a massage? what happened next? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025 "2003-06-24T14:15:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![thatDDperson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de0a6/32.png) [@thatDDperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thatDDperson)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/21 "2003-06-24T20:05:20Z")
Hilltopper, “bite your tongue”=a way to distract yourself with pain, in this instance. It has been my experience that inadvertent wood will subside if the body’s attention is distracted by pain in another location. (You SO do not want me to explain that, OK?) Since causing pain in, let’s say the foot, would be obvious (Pardon me while I smash my foot with this brick, and don’t notice the erection, please), biting the tongue would be a bit more discreet. This is not the same usage, in my case, as the “bite your tongue” meaning keep quiet, don’t say anything. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/22 "2003-06-24T21:30:11Z")
Or you could take the practical approach. If you’re not sure how you’re going to feel, request a 1/2 hour massage and ask them to work on your back or some other specific problem area. Sorta, ease into it, you know. I’m a woman and I really wasn’t sure how I was going to feel getting all buck naked with strangers. I just got a half an hour and the masseur (male) focused on my shoulders in general and specifically on this knot I always have under my right shoulder from mouse-clicking. It was, in a word, awesome. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/23 "2003-06-24T22:42:48Z")
It never happened to me. Wait & see if it happens first. You can also get a massage with your clothing on, ya know? Some people ask for that. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/24 "2003-06-24T23:23:32Z")
[George Costanza] It moved! [/George Costanza] ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/25 "2003-06-25T00:00:00Z")
Also, a slight matter of protocol, I think the kind of person that gives you a massage that went to school for it likes to be called a “massage therapist” these days as the term “masseuse/ masseur” tends to be used in more. . . um. . . “leisure industry” settings and has developed unsavoury connotations. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/26 "2003-06-25T05:30:57Z")
The only massages I’ve ever had were full-body no-towel ones in Bangkok, and, uh, well, I wouldn’t want to characterize what happened next as, um, typical. :o I don’t think I could even get one in the States now, but if I did, I know my body would still react the same. It’s no big deal so don’t worry about it (unless you’ve got something to be self-conscious about 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/27 "2003-06-25T05:55:10Z")
It happened to me once. I went for a shiatsu massage with a female friend that had done them off and on for me for some time. We weren’t fast friends, mostly acquaintances of some standing. Shiatsu sometimes relaxes me so much that I fall asleep. And I did. I was clothed loosely, shorts and a big t-shirt. I remember waking up in the middle of the massage, and noticing a “tent” effect down south. Not a pup-tent, a frigging Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Baily friggen tent. Major blush time for me. But she didn’t say anything, so niether did I. I really don’t know if it bothered her at the time, I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. I had no interest in her, I didn’t think she thought I was interested. I just…got hard. Fuck it – these things happen. We’re all human. Just relax, and if something happens, just smile and/or shrug. It’ll pass. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/28 "2003-06-25T11:34:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Quasimodem \* > \*\*Never gotten it **getting** a massage, but I get wood **giving** one. > > We’re a pretty tight-knit group where I work, and I was asked once, “Bill, will you rub my neck for me? It’s kinda stiff.” > > I had to bend down and whisper, “Honey, I can’t, because if I do, then **I’ll** get stiff!” She was taken aback, but understood. I just **love** nurses! > > Don’t ask me why that happens. But at my age, I’m just happy that it **does**!😉 > > Q \*\* Yeah, massages qualify as a type of foreplay here at _Casa Dave-Guy_. Of course, the difference is that’s often the specific aim, so going with it is not a surprise. The feeling of manipulating flesh and warming up skin and muscle and loosening joints is often erotic, for both the giver and reciever of the massage. So if it keeps the blood flowing… Of course, it would be entirely different in a professional setting. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/29 "2003-06-25T12:11:15Z")
Oh. My. God. You have no idea. I’ve been telling my wife for months now that I want to go and have a professional-style massage. Back-rub really. Y’all are killing me. Need … back … rub … ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/30 "2003-06-25T12:53:36Z")
I don’t mean to be the grammar police, but why does everyone seem to have trouble with the terms masseur and masseuse? A masseur is a male massage therapist. Male masseur is redundant. A masseuse is a female massage therapist. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/31 "2003-06-25T13:10:00Z")
Pardon me whilst I ask my chauffeusse to drive me over. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/32 "2003-06-25T15:13:49Z")
Our local college has a massage class. The students are required to be a subject in the class. I can only imagine what it would be like to get wood in front of the whole class. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/33 "2003-06-25T15:15:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qazzz \* > \*\*Hmmmmm. I had a male friend training to be a masseuse \*\* “OK, you’ve got the massage thing down pat. Here’s the padded bra - are you ready for the scissors?” Some typos are more painful than others 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![hilltopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@hilltopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hilltopper)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025/34 "2003-06-25T20:57:30Z")
Got my massage…😛 Awesome! I highly recommend it to any one who has not had one. For the record, got a bit chubby, but no full-on wood. On stomach, hidden no problem…on back sheet blanket combo provided good camophlage. Also, one last note, the massage therapist was a knockout! PERFECT body. But since I was face down for most of it, and had my eyes closed for most of the rest she could have been Bula Ballbreaker and the effect would have been the same. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-get-wood-during-a-massage-what-happened-next/184025.md?page=1)