# Ever gotten caught masturbating? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 29, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213 "2003-05-29T06:19:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/1 "2003-05-29T06:19:40Z")
Today I was thinking about the most embarassing thing that could happen to a person and of all the normal healthy activities that he or she might do I think masturbation is the most embarassing. I’ve gotten caught myself a few times. I guess whats more embarassing that getting caught is being crazy enough to do it again in a situation where you get caught again :eek: . For some reason the concept of getting caught having sex with someone doesn’t seem as embarassing as getting caught masturbating. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/2 "2003-05-29T07:42:12Z")
No, but I caught my brother masturbating. More than once. Suffice it to say it was intensely awkward for both of us, and I don’t think we’ve ever mentioned it, then or all these years later. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/3 "2003-05-29T08:14:41Z")
I have never been caught at it. But I have been caught watching porn in my undies. I was muchwayalot younger than I am now. And it was barely porn (french softporn) ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/4 "2003-05-29T10:53:42Z")
No… I’m always careful. There have been some \* very \* close calls though 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/5 "2003-05-29T11:07:00Z")
this one is really cool, use it on guys: you: hey, ever been caught masturbating behind your bedroom door guy: umm…no you: good spot, innit? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/6 "2003-05-29T11:17:11Z")
I’ve been caught. My Grandma just opened my door one day to tell me something and… we never spoke of it. Three years later, she did the same thing while I was having sex with my first boyfriend. That finally taught her to knock. My ex-husband didn’t so much catch me, but he did disturb me. _hmph_ ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/7 "2003-05-29T12:10:17Z")
Not getting caught is the only perfect record I have left. Lousy defecating birds. ---
**Author:** ![pestie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/8 "2003-05-29T15:39:59Z")
Not that I’ll admit to! ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/9 "2003-05-29T16:43:59Z")
Almost once. ---
**Author:** ![Qazzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/aeb1de/32.png) [@Qazzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qazzz)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/10 "2003-05-29T17:30:15Z")
I was sort of caught retrospectively… My dad used to put porn magazines under his mattress and I’d “use” them in the bathroom. And one day I guess I forgot to put one back, and later in the day, while in the car with my mom, she said, “Honey, you left one of your dad’s magazines in the bathroom.” I went white as a sheet and wanted to vomit, but I was locked in a moving vehicle, and had nowhere to go. “Now I know that you masturbate and that’s normal,” etc, etc. It was awful. Then, at 17, I got arrested at a rest area for soliciting sex… Because I was a minor, my parents were notified and I had to describe everything I had been doing to the cops and my parents… That’s how I told them I was gay. Fun! Then, in college, I was living with my best female friend, and she walked in on me. Fortunately, I had my back to the door and was facing the computer, so she didn’t see anything. I screamed and she screamed and I came out of my room a few hours later and we relaxed about it. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/11 "2003-05-29T17:53:33Z")
Yes. Several Times. You’d think my sister would realize what soft candles and me naked under my covers in the middle of the day meant… I would usually have to pointedly ask her to leave because I had been ‘sleeping’. 😉 As it was an annoyance for me (I don’t know of anyone who wants to be disturbed at that stage), I took her aside to ask her to knock before entering. I carefully explained that sometimes a person may be doing something in their room, taking care of certain urges, and may not want to be disturbed. She figured it out. Which must explain why she then started barging in _every_ _single_ _time_ she would walk by my door with an expectant grin on her face hoping to catch me in the act. I guess I’m the only female she knows who admitted to this to her, plus I’m her little sister so it’s fascinating… ---
**Author:** ![Qazzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/aeb1de/32.png) [@Qazzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qazzz)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/12 "2003-05-29T18:03:03Z")
What??? Girls don’t masturbate! Grody alert grody alert! ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/13 "2003-05-29T18:06:43Z")
I’ve accidently walked in on my teenage son—AAAAGGGHHH! Totally embarrassing…for both of us. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/14 "2003-05-29T18:10:33Z")
**Lady of the Lake** , soft candles? Wow, you go all out. I have by my mother and my roommate (different times). I swear my roommate had some weird sense to know whenever I was being stimulated becuase a lot of the times I was by myself and a lot of the times I was with the SO he would come barging in. My side was the side not hidden behind the door so the SO and I learned how to fake sleep quick. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/15 "2003-05-29T18:16:30Z")
[Homer Simpson voice] Mmm. Girls masturbating. [/Homer Simpson voice] ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/16 "2003-05-29T18:19:01Z")
Once, while watching Moonraker (no, it wasn’t Roger Moore I was imagining). By my mother. We’ve never spoken of it either. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/17 "2003-05-29T18:22:27Z")
Does anybody have any theories as to why this particular act is more embarassing than, say, somebody accidentally walking in while you were going to the bathroom? Or, say, showering? I would guess it has to do with the extreme personal nature of it. Also the reaction of the person who discovered you can be a big factor. My father’s reaction is just a nonchalant, “oh sorry, I’ll come back later” but my mom’s reaction is a “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” :eek: which causes me to kind of freak out and panic as if what I was doing was WRONG WRONG WRONG (I know it’s not but the reaction/tone of voice makes it FEEL that way) ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/18 "2003-05-29T18:43:17Z")
Probably. I’m _very_ careful these days. There’s nothing more embarrassing than being trapped behind the door with your pants down, hunched over so your shirt covers the questionable areas, and trying to explain to your sister to ‘come back later’. 'Course, I don’t pull the ripcord of joy as often these days, so the chances are a great deal less of being caught. ---
**Author:** ![angelabaca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@angelabaca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelabaca)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/19 "2003-05-29T18:49:42Z")
i once had sex on a bench on a basketball court while a stranger was shooting hoops. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213/20 "2003-05-29T19:07:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qazzz \* > \*\*What??? Girls don’t masturbate! Grody alert grody alert! \*\* It’s _this_ kind of out-of-date attitude that fuels my sister! 🙂 (A Grody?) Wolfian, Er…soft candle light…though soft candles would have been fun too… Incubus: Religion may have had a hand in this, but masturbation can seem to reflect negatively on a persons character. A person who masturbates is ‘weak’, ‘self focused’, ‘dirty’, ‘low class’ etc… I do not believe this, but I have had to _fight_ thinking of myself in those terms. I knew it was healthy. I knew it was good for me. I knew it was a great way to get to know my body and to understand my own sexuality…but…in the beginning, I felt uncomfortable with it. That’s why you have a glass of wine, put on a nice robe and get out your ‘soft candles’ 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-gotten-caught-masturbating/178213.md?page=2)