# Ever had a creature OTHER than a dog try to hump you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 20, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118 "2005-10-20T18:17:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/1 "2005-10-20T18:17:55Z")
Though it should be obvious, just for the sake of absolute clarity, this does not include humans. Once when I was a kid the neighbor’s cat tried to do it with my leg. Other than that, it’s only been dogs for me. I wonder if it’s just a dog thing. Needless to say, I’ve never reciprocated. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/2 "2005-10-20T18:50:02Z")
There is nothing more reviling than a horny housecat. We had a cockatiel that was quite amorous once. It wasn’t so much “humping”, but resembled drunken booty-dancing. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/3 "2005-10-20T18:59:53Z")
I had a dream one night that someone had tied my legs together at the ankles. I woke up and one of our neutered male cats was humping my feet. We don’t leave the bedroom door open at night anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/4 "2005-10-20T19:01:50Z")
I can’t see this thread in this forum. Sorry, I tried. From IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/5 "2005-10-20T19:10:31Z")
I spurning your dog. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/6 "2005-10-20T19:15:54Z")
My brother was humped once by a Barbary ape. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/7 "2005-10-20T19:21:26Z")
I had a girlfriend once that…what? > [@Loopydude](#): > > …this does not include humans. Oh. Well, she was _kind of_ a dog. Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/8 "2005-10-20T19:30:11Z")
Intoxicated college girls. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/9 "2005-10-20T19:33:04Z")
**Hal Briston** come on down ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/10 "2005-10-20T19:43:15Z")
We had a parakeet that was hot for my finger. “drunken booty dance” indeed. And he’d make the most _explicit_ little grunts. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/11 "2005-10-20T19:58:17Z")
Occupational hazard. My two personal favotites: I once examined a cockatiel that was brought in by a woman with several young children. She wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree. She described what the bird was doing, and I told her the bird was masterbating. Her reply was, “Huh?”. Her 8 year old son said, “He’s beating off mom”. Then she understood. There was a girl in my veterinary school class who got slapped across the face **hard** by an erect horse penis. Left an ugly red welt. She was assisting with an equine artificial insemination when the stallion’s salami swung sideways. (by the sea shore). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/12 "2005-10-20T21:35:08Z")
Wow, **vetbridge** , normally you have to pay to see that second one. Or, uh, so I’ve heard. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/13 "2005-10-20T21:41:32Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Intoxicated college girls. _Other_ than dogs. Sheesh! ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/14 "2005-10-20T21:45:14Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] There was a girl in my veterinary school class who got slapped across the face **hard** by an erect horse penis. Left an ugly red welt. [QUOTE] The great guns have come out early in the thread, I see… ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/15 "2005-10-20T21:52:34Z")
> [@vetbridge](#): > > There was a girl in my veterinary school class who got slapped across the face **hard** by an erect horse penis. Left an ugly red welt. She was assisting with an equine artificial insemination when the stallion’s salami swung sideways. (by the sea shore). 😉 Why would anyone want to artificially inseminate a male horse? I guess that’s why the stallion was so pissed. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/16 "2005-10-20T22:14:35Z")
[thread hijack] Just out of curiosity, just how hung is the average horse, anyway? [/th] ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/17 "2005-10-20T22:20:59Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > [thread hijack] Just out of curiosity, just how hung is the average horse, anyway? [/th] Umm…like a horse, usually. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/18 "2005-10-20T22:22:55Z")
My leg has been intimately violated by a rabbit. What are you supposed to _do_? If you try to shake it off you feel like you’re somehow participating! ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/19 "2005-10-20T22:24:35Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > [thread hijack] Just out of curiosity, just how hung is the average horse, anyway? [/th] Know the term _Louisville Slugger_? ---
**Author:** ![Spongemom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Spongemom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spongemom)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118/20 "2005-10-20T22:32:37Z")
> [@Terminus Est](#): > > Why would anyone want to artificially inseminate a male horse? I guess that’s why the stallion was so pissed. I’m sensing the sarcasm there, but for anyone who’s really wondering, the…um…contribution has to (pardon the pun) come from somewhere. **The Scrivener** , I would google “horse penis length” and see what I could find for you, but I _really_ don’t want that in my history. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-creature-other-than-a-dog-try-to-hump-you/327118.md?page=2)