# Ever had a partner that says they're ugly? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 22, 2014, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997 "2014-05-22T09:26:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/1 "2014-05-22T09:26:52Z")
Tonight my wife was saying how good looking I am and I said she’s “cute”. She said she’s ugly and fugly ("f\*\*\*ing ugly). Again I said she’s cute. One of her friends used to be a model but is now somewhat overweight and apparently has also said that she (the friend) is ugly… I’ve heard about drama queens that say they’re ugly. Also there’s One Direction’s song: “You don’t know you’re beautiful, Oh, oh, That’s what makes you beautiful” BTW in the past my wife said she’s had average looks. She’s also said that when she was younger people called her “the body” and said she was a “9”. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/2 "2014-05-22T09:39:07Z")
(Pulling up deckchair, filling the popcorn bucket, and nicking the M & M’s for the theatrics that are about to appear). 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/3 "2014-05-22T09:59:43Z")
Every woman I have ever known thinks they look fat. I haven’t heard ugly yet. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/4 "2014-05-22T10:40:54Z")
: joins **Kambuckta** on the deckchairs : Clearly we are all unable to comment on this without photographic evidence… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/5 "2014-05-22T10:58:37Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Tonight my wife was saying how good looking I am and I said she’s “cute”. Telling her she’s cute, while doing the air quote thing doesn’t really bolster her ego. Try leaving the air quotes out and attempt to sound sincere. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/6 "2014-05-22T11:05:30Z")
The quotes are there because that is the exact wording I used. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/7 "2014-05-22T11:12:46Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > The quotes are there because that is the exact wording I used. So you didn’t actually make air quotes? Did you sound sorta sincere? Could she see your fingers crossed behind your back? Seriously, have you given her flowers lately? ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/8 "2014-05-22T12:29:29Z")
You don’t believe everything she says, do you? Didn’t she once tell you she had a penis? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/9 "2014-05-22T13:11:42Z")
The correct answer is, “you’re beautiful to me, and that’s what counts.” If that weren’t true, you wouldn’t have married her… right? Sometimes I read your threads about her and think, “the only thing those two crazy kids have in common is their massive insecurity.” ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/10 "2014-05-22T13:21:11Z")
She has an ugly boyfriend on the side and she wants to justify leaving you because you spend too much time talking about her on the internet. Just my guess, and I could be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/11 "2014-05-22T13:24:45Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > You don’t believe everything she says, do you? Didn’t she once tell you she had a penis? It could be true and she just didn’t include “severed” because she has a lisp. ---
**Author:** ![StayseaDee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@StayseaDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StayseaDee)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/12 "2014-05-22T14:10:45Z")
I was always “that woman”. Always feeling inadequate in the world of beauty that we belong in. But I made myself think differently. Every person I would see, outwardly beautiful or completely unattractive to me, I would find a quality about them that I feel is beautiful/handsome. Amazing green eyes. Beautiful blonde hair. Sweet smile. In finding beauty in everyone else, it helped me pick out qualities about myself that I find beautiful. I might not like the overall picture, but I no longer see myself as “ugly”. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/13 "2014-05-22T15:33:40Z")
Does she take care of herself? My wife uses a word for women who are unattractive mainly because they don’t put any effort in their appearance or take pride in themselves- _fodongas_. A fondonga woman is frumpy, plain, dumpy but worst of all does nothing about it. Fodongas tend to get very defensive about their fondonga-ness because even though they are self conscious, they wont do anything to change it. Which is even uglier than their appearance. I hope your wife isn’t fodonga, JohnClay. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/14 "2014-05-22T15:44:03Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Does she take care of herself? My wife uses a word for women who are unattractive mainly because they don’t put any effort in their appearance or take pride in themselves- _fodongas_. A fondonga woman is frumpy, plain, dumpy but worst of all does nothing about it. Fodongas tend to get very defensive about their fondonga-ness because even though they are self conscious, they wont do anything to change it. Which is even uglier than their appearance. > > I hope your wife isn’t fodonga, JohnClay. Is your wife Mexican? I ask because that’s a fairly common word for _slob_ in Mexican Spanish. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/15 "2014-05-22T15:47:03Z")
Oh, and to answer the OP, my wife believes she’s fat and unattractive. I say “believes” because I don’t think she’s just saying it to fish for reassurances/compliments. She has a legitimately low concept of her own attractiveness that is completely at odds with reality, objective as well as subjective. Reality: [Tris2 | Benjamin Duffy | Flickr](https://www.flickr.com/photos/ben1cs/5516150022) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/16 "2014-05-22T15:59:02Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > The correct answer is, “you’re beautiful to me, and that’s what counts.” I think “you’re beautiful” does the job by itself. “You’re beautiful to me” sort of implies other people would find her ugly, and you probably shouldn’t say your opinion counts more than hers. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/17 "2014-05-22T16:43:47Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Tonight my wife was saying how good looking I am and I said she’s “cute”. She said she’s ugly and fugly ("f\*\*\*ing ugly). Again I said she’s cute. One of her friends used to be a model but is now somewhat overweight and apparently has also said that she (the friend) is ugly… > I’ve heard about drama queens that say they’re ugly. Also there’s One Direction’s song: “You don’t know you’re beautiful, Oh, oh, That’s what makes you beautiful” > BTW in the past my wife said she’s had average looks. She’s also said that when she was younger people called her “the body” and said she was a “9”. We’re going to need a picture to know if your wife is fugly or not. Also why are you listening to One Direction? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/18 "2014-05-22T16:48:00Z")
Does a “5” count as fugly? And who in the hell calls their wife cute? (In the context that the OP used it.) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/19 "2014-05-22T17:23:38Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > We’re going to need a picture to know if your wife is fugly or not. One of him too, so we can see whether his wife is lying. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997/20 "2014-05-22T17:34:40Z")
As soon as I opened this thread, I did a ctrl-f on “belly.” Just sayin’… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-had-a-partner-that-says-theyre-ugly/688997.md?page=2)