Wasn’t too happy about it either but oh well.
The fight:
Cardinal vs. Nissan Pathfinder
The Result:
Pathfinder wins by 1st round TKO.
Stupid bird. . . .
When I was little I remember my mom, dad and sister and I were all in his company truck, big ugly thing. Anyway a little birdie flew into the windsheild. That was traumatic enough, but then my idiot father had to turn on the windshield wipers because the bird had somehow become stuck in one of them. He thought this would free the dead bird and stop the shrieking of his two little girls. Well after about 6 or 7 passes of this dead birdie in front of our faces, the idiot finally pulled over and handled the situation like a man. I think we cried for days over that bird, called him bird killer, it was really sad
Then one time when I was first learning to drive, I don’t even think I was 16 yet, I was driving an old VW that was a little thin in the floorboards. My uncle was with me, it was so cold and there was no heater in this car, so we had blankets on us. Anyway there was this littl bird sitting on the road. I was going fairly slow so I thought it would move. Apparently it was frozen to the ground. It just made a thump noise, but I could feel it hit the floorboard under my other foot. I burst into tears immediately, my uncle tried to console me by telling me it was frozen and that I’d put it out of it’s misery, but then he just couldn’t hold in his laughter at the whole situation. I just kept saying “I felt it thump my foot. wahhh waaahhh”
Oh yeah. I hate birds - I’ve dispatched a couple.
The funniest one was on the interstate. I’m cruisin’ down I-94 to Madison at a cool 70-75 mph. Bird comes out of nowhere doing at least 25 (it was cruisin’ on its own). Feathers everywhere. It was like I hit a feather pillow. I immediately slow down, causing the minivan behind me to pass me - the people inside where laughing hysterically. How often do you see a car spontaneously belch a huge amount of feathers?
I’m sure the bird was dead - it wasn’t lodged in the car in any way, but I doubt it could’ve survived the physics. I felt bad, but I guess if it wanted to commit suicide so badly, at least I could help it onto a higher plane. And provide some merriment for others.
Snicks
I took out a bird with my head once. Luckily I was wearing my motorcycle helmet and only going about 40-45 mph. Bird came out from my right, and suddenly I had a visor full of bird, and bam. Darn bird broke my visor too.
My mom drove through a flock of smallish birds once (sparrows, maybe?) and the PING! PING! PING! as they bounced off various parts of her Oldsmobile was awful. I think about 12 to 15 were killed - they were flat on the road when we came back that way an hour or two later, so they weren’t just stunned.
My dad has also hit a couple birds - a pheasant that took out his windshield, and another small bird that lodged in the grill but did no damage.
I have you all beat. Stupid pidgeon was sitting in the road while I was on my way ot work one morning. As I barreled towards it, it didn’t move at all, and I thought it might do the smart thing and stay put.
It didn’t.
At the very last possible second, it decided to take flight and and only made it as high as my grill.
I was doing 100 miles an hour.
Gore splattered across my windshield and when I checked once I got to work, I saw that all that survived in tact was the little birdie’s head - stuck in my grill and looking only partially surprised up at me.
I ran into a dodo bird once. Killed it dead.
Really sorry about that.
Mom hit a little sparrow that lodged in her headlight, upside down, wings spread, like it had been crucified.
I nearly hit an Osprrey that was carrying a VERY large stick to its nest: the bird was flying about three feet off the roadway and at the last second got enough lift to clear the car.
I’ve seen mockingbirds dive-bombing a seagull, forcing it into I-4 (highway) traffic at rush hour. SMACK! Right off the windshield of a car. End of seagull.
I have had a vulture throw up in the back seat of my car (was transporting it to a rehabber at the time). Nasty stuff there.
I went to a very liberal college in western Washington, near the Olympic Penninsula. One night I was driving off the campus and something burst out of the brush on the side of the road and I hit it in midair. I turned around and drove back; it was a young spotted owl.
If you’ve already posted the full story on this before, could I get a link?
If you haven’t, would you?
I once hit a seagull doing about 50 MPH. It struck the right front corner of my trusty Volvo station wagon. Knocked the headlight out of alignment and broke a bit of the plastic mounting. It could have been worse, I’m sure—it was only a glancing hit. Made quite a thump though, and I don’t imagine the bird got off so well…
When we all run out of paper towels;
We can wipe our butts with a spotted owl.
Twisted tune, KISW, early 1990’s.
Had a small bird fly in the open drivers side window and hit the passenger side window. The bird was woozy for about 10 minutes then flew away.
Hit a pheasant while driving a government issue mid 60’s Dodge van. Hit just below the windshield and dented the front end pretty good.
Ran over a duck that ran out in front of me early one morning. Saw nothing but a bunch of feathers after I hit it. Standing along side the road were 8 little baby ducks. I rounded them up and delivered them to a wildlife rehab center. The woman there accused me of hitting the duck on purpose. I told her I would have run over the babies too if I wanted to kill ducks. She was a real bitch about the whole thing.
My dad hit a turkey buzzard once. Came round a bend in the highway, and there it was, snacking on some roadkill. Made a horrific thump and dented the hell out of the fender, but when Dad went back to haul the carcass off the road, it was gone.
Apparently, he got off pretty lightly. If the bird had burst on impact, the smell is enough to have the car totalled out on insurance. It doesn’t come out, even with power washing. shudder
Never having mastered four wheels, I personally am innocent. My brother however had a dead bat slowly decomposing in the radiator grill of his clapped out old SAAB until there was insufficient flesh remaining upon its cadaver to hold it in place.
Being fourteen at the time, and having a wardrobe consisting of ten black shirts and three pairs of black jeans, I quite appreciated his macabre hood ornament.
Those sympathising with the non humans on this one may be heartened by the tale of Muff, who upon rounding a rural corner on his Norton Commando a little faster than it transpired to be advisable encountered a cow ambling though the apex. Muff came off a very shoddy second in the encounter, with the cow supposedly fixing him with a look of bovine derision before ambling on its way.
milo
Last week I think we drove over a bird. My mom was driving and we went over the bird who was sitting right under the car. I could see it in the road, and I figured it would fly away at the last minute, but it didn’t. I didn’t feel any thump, so I’m not sure if we got it or not. It was kind of weird, though.
Due to the fact that I can’t yet drive, the answer is ‘No’. But my dad once did.
When he was in college out in California, he had a nice convertible and frequently took it out on the highway in the middle of the desert. There was rarely any one out there, so he could go just as fast as he wanted.
Well, one day he was doing about a hundred mph on a straightaway, when a huge buzard comes flying at him. Oh, did I mention that he was listening to the radio at the time? :eek:
SHLUNCK!
The poor bird never stood a chance. When it’s a vulture, against a thin metal rod moving at 100 mph, the bird doesn’t stand a chance. There was no damage to the car.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I must an a completely insensitive bastard. I’ve hit a number of birds and small animals over the years and can’t remember the details of a single incident.
My senior year in high school, I was riding with some friends one night to go see a movie. It was around 9:00 or so, and as we were driving down the road, we saw a rabbit run across the street in front of us. Jokingly, we all screamed “Hit it, hit it”, and my friend Ryan, the driver, swirved the car a bit. BAM!!! Something smacked against the windshield and scared the shit out of us. We stopped the car and went back to look to see what it was, and sitting there on the side of the road was a fucking owl, just looking at us with this dazed look on it’s face. We left after a few minutes of observation, and came back after the movie. It had purched itself in a nearby tree, but hadn’t moved far. It didn’t turn up dead the next day, so that was good, and I guess we also saved the life of a little rabbit, so we didn’t feel too bad.
I’ve hit three pigeons three times, twice in two weeks, and everytime, it’s the same damn scenario. I’m driving along, it’s a lovely day, a bird comes flying across the road about windshield level, and suddenly WHOOSH!!! They dive down directly infront of my car. The first time, it really upset me. When it happened again five days latter, I was kinda irritated. The third time, I was just pissed. If I wanted to kill them, it’d be one thing, but I hate hurting animals, so the fact they keep using me as their personal suicide machine kinda hurts.
Another one of my friends was driving in town to visit his girlfriend, and ended up hitting a vulture on the way. Apparently, there was a flock of them hanging out by the side of the road, and as he drove by, they just casually flew out right in front of him. The grill of his jeep got a slight chip in it, so it now looks like Jim Carrey’s smile from Dumb and Dumber.
Hey, wait a minute!
My father told me when I was a kid that you could never hit a bird, no matter how close it came to the car.
You all must be imagining things.