# Ever just try a religion on for size?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-just-try-a-religion-on-for-size/233078>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 8, 2004, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-just-try-a-religion-on-for-size/233078 "2004-03-08T04:44:31Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-just-try-a-religion-on-for-size/233078/21 "2004-03-09T13:00:40Z")

</div>

I’ve tried so many that I’m not sure I can remember them all. Atheism. Various flavors of Christianity. Jehova’s Witness. Mormon. Islam (before it was cool). Satanism. Wicca. Nicheren Shoshu (a form of Buddhism). Quite a few that I just made up. And on and on.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Jojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecd19e/32.png) [@Jojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jojo)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-just-try-a-religion-on-for-size/233078/22 "2004-03-09T23:48:19Z")

</div>

I _want_ to be a satanist because it seems like the coolest religion by some way:

- you get to worship the Lord of Evil, Lucifer and do His bidding
- you get to wear black robes and carry out black masses on unholy altars
- the devil has all the best tunes
- he also takes the hindmost, apparently
- all those sex orgies
- if you end up going to Hell you might get treated a bit better as one of Lucifer’s minions
- if you have any problems in life you can summon Unholy Forces to help you out

So anyway I checked out the Church of Satan but it turns out they don’t actually worship the Dark Lord at all, they just think you should do whatever you want in life. I was a bit disappointed. But then I realised I don’t believe in Satan anyway so that took the wind out of my sails. Maybe if I keep waiting, one day I’ll see the light, or rather the Dark.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\
**Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-just-try-a-religion-on-for-size/233078/23 "2004-03-10T06:27:33Z")

</div>

> [@Eve](#):
>
> Does this religion make my ass look big?

I’m seriously considering changing my sig line again. 😃

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-just-try-a-religion-on-for-size/233078.md?page=1)