I’ve tried so many that I’m not sure I can remember them all. Atheism. Various flavors of Christianity. Jehova’s Witness. Mormon. Islam (before it was cool). Satanism. Wicca. Nicheren Shoshu (a form of Buddhism). Quite a few that I just made up. And on and on.
I want to be a satanist because it seems like the coolest religion by some way:
- you get to worship the Lord of Evil, Lucifer and do His bidding
- you get to wear black robes and carry out black masses on unholy altars
- the devil has all the best tunes
- he also takes the hindmost, apparently
- all those sex orgies
- if you end up going to Hell you might get treated a bit better as one of Lucifer’s minions
- if you have any problems in life you can summon Unholy Forces to help you out
So anyway I checked out the Church of Satan but it turns out they don’t actually worship the Dark Lord at all, they just think you should do whatever you want in life. I was a bit disappointed. But then I realised I don’t believe in Satan anyway so that took the wind out of my sails. Maybe if I keep waiting, one day I’ll see the light, or rather the Dark.
I’m seriously considering changing my sig line again. 