# Ever known a murder victim or murderer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 3, 2022, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151 "2022-01-03T18:44:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/61 "2022-01-04T04:23:46Z")
I used to teach high school science in Georgia, USA. I had a kid in class for a few days who blew his friend’s head off with a shotgun over the summer ( that kid was in my class the previous year). Another former student stabbed her boyfriend to death. I grew up with one serial murderer who is still in prison (if he’s still alive). Dude always seemed a little off. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/62 "2022-01-04T04:45:58Z")
Is she the one who, along with a friend of hers, referred to him as “your boyfriend” until they found out his real name, the hard way? I know of two victims and one perp. The first victim was a HS classmate who was beaten to death by her drug-addicted boyfriend several years after we graduated. It eventually came out that she, too had addiction issues, but she didn’t deserve this. The second victim was a woman I had worked with briefly at Target when I was in HS and she was about 20 years old; we became friendly but I backed off when I realized everyone else was right, she was, shall we say, a bit off, and I wasn’t surprised when she was fired not long afterwards for stealing money. About a decade later, her skeletonized remains were found by hunters, and she hadn’t even been reported missing because her family said she would periodically drop off their radar for months at a time. Her death was ruled a homicide, and is on our state’s Cold Case website. One of my customers at the grocery store pharmacy was arrested for a bar fight that had a fatality. That crime was interesting, because despite a couple dozen witnesses, people were reluctant to come forward, although the reason why turned out to be quite simple: the bar was mainly patronized by closeted gays. This was about 2000. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/63 "2022-01-04T04:47:45Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Is she the one who, along with a friend of hers, referred to him as “your boyfriend” until they found out his real name, the hard way? Yup! My sister and her friend were temp workers at Ambrosia Chocolate, where Dahmer worked, a couple of months before he was arrested, and the world learned about his murders. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/64 "2022-01-04T05:09:23Z")
> [@gnarator](#): > > I met someone in grad school who had gone to high school with Dahmer. Said he was weird. My ex-wife had a friend who went on a date with Paul Bernardo before he married Karla Holmolka: > **[Paul Bernardo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Bernardo)** > > Paul Kenneth Bernardo (born August 27, 1964) is a Canadian serial rapist and serial killer dubbed the Scarborough Rapist, the Schoolgirl Killer and, together with his former wife Karla Homolka, one of the Ken and Barbie Killers. He is known for initially committing a series of rapes in Scarborough, Ontario, a suburb of Toronto, between 1987 and 1990, before committing three murders with Homolka; among these victims was Karla's younger sister, Tammy Homolka. > After his capture and conviction, B... The date was for dinner at a restaurant, as I recall the friend’s recounting of it. She walked out halfway through. She said that Bernardo was weird, and she just wanted to get away from him. As for me, I haven’t personally known any murderers; but as a lawyer, I’ve met some. Mostly through representing a few at the local jail, when they run afoul of jailhouse rules, and need representation before the jailhouse court. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/65 "2022-01-04T06:17:14Z")
I didn’t exactly know him, but I met him. A friend’s roommate back in West Texas. The friend asked me to help him move out. He was moving out because this roommate, whom I’d not actually met before, was “too strange,” and he was afraid of trouble upon the roommate seeing him taking his stuff and leaving. My friend wanted someone else there, as a witness if nothing else. So I went with him, and the roommate seemed okay with the move, was calm and not excited. (My friend had answered the guy’s ad that said he was looking for a roommate.) Years later, the roommate made the news. He had gotten married since that time, and his wife was found in the backyard garden, where he had buried her after murdering her. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/66 "2022-01-04T06:41:29Z")
I’ve known two murderers\*. I also knew the victim of one of the murderers. I didn’t know any of them very well, but I had been in all their homes. - In one case I think the conviction was for manslaughter, not murder, but I’m counting it. Edit to add: I just remembered a guy I went to school with was stabbed to death in an ill-advised run-in with a junkie, although the junkie got off after pleading self-defense (and the jury didn’t know it was the second time he’d stabbed someone in similar circumstances). ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/67 "2022-01-04T07:26:02Z")
My grandmother died under extremely suspicious circumstances which may very well have been murder, but the police never pursued it. I posted about it on the Dope once before. AFAIK, I’ve never known a murderer directly, but I’ve been a degree or two removed from at least one: My mother headed an outpatient clinic for the mentally ill in southern New Hampshire. Years ago one of the clinic’s clients dismembered his parents, leaving body parts artfully strewn about on their home’s entryway steps and elsewhere. My mother had the delightful task of speaking to the press in the aftermath. Not one of her better days. ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/68 "2022-01-04T10:08:05Z")
For Easter one year, our friend’s sister and niece also joined us for Easter brunch. The sister’s husband did not join. He may have been at earlier gatherings at the friend’s house, but not certain. A few years later the husband killed the sister and niece (his wife and child). A week later he killed himself during a police standoff. The husband of my dad’s cousin disappeared and his body was discovered one week later. He was declared as a suicide. 10 years later, his brother disappeared and has since has been declared dead. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/69 "2022-01-04T12:16:07Z")
I have strange luck at work I guess. Worked with [Jay Hill](https://www.upi.com/Archives/1991/11/13/Father-indicted-for-starving-13-year-old-son/6728690008400/), he and his wife chained their teenaged son in a cabinet and starved him to death. Also worked with [David Turpin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turpin_case). One of my relatives killed someone, but this was a long time ago and all the charges were eventually dropped, so technically not a murder. Another of my relatives was killed by a serial killer you’ve all heard of, but I’ll refrain saying which one (due to our names). I didn’t know this relative though. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/70 "2022-01-04T13:21:00Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > [Dahmer] sat in the company lunchroom, and just stared at people. (Sees co-worker licking own fingers) “You gonna finish that?” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/71 "2022-01-04T13:44:07Z")
Murderers? Too numerous to count, including 2 serial killers. I didn’t know Dahmer, but I know folks who knew him. Same for Ed Gein. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/72 "2022-01-04T14:01:55Z")
A detective I used to work with was strangled to death by her boyfriend. He was an absolute shitbag (with a criminal record even) and WTF she was doing with him in the first place was the real mystery. He got life without parole. A woman I went to high school with and was friends with afterwards was shot to death by her estranged husband. He then killed himself. I’ve known lots of people on the street who have been murdered or committed murder. But none of them were friends. By “murder” I assume the OP means a crime. I do know some people who committed justifiable homicide. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/73 "2022-01-04T14:38:41Z")
I likely knew a murderer, but I’ll never know for certain. A friend was in a club with others who shared his interest in motorcycles. He was involved in a disagreement with a member of another, similar club. They found my friend’s foe’s body with multiple stab wounds. The police investigated but nobody was ever charged with the crime. He asked me if the police had talked with me, they hadn’t. We discussed the situation in vague, general terms. Many years went by. He stopped by my work and he told me he’d been diagnosed with liver cancer and he wasn’t pursuing treatment. He died not too long after, taking the secret with him. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/74 "2022-01-04T15:20:11Z")
I met one once. My company hired [this man](https://nypost.com/2005/10/25/killer-tycoon-slays-wife-near-3m-home-on-tranquility-lane-cops/) as director of sales or some such. I have telecommuted since 9/11/2001, so I met him only once on one of my rare required trips in to the office. The very next day, he was arrested per the above link. ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/75 "2022-01-04T15:25:57Z")
My husband’s cousin was strangled to death by her niece. The niece wanted money for drugs. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/76 "2022-01-04T15:56:25Z")
I had a professor who was arrested for the attempted murder of his wife (convicted of assault). ---
**Author:** ![Mortimus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Mortimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mortimus)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/77 "2022-01-04T16:07:47Z")
Fall of 1986, a very disturbed individual walked into a cable television office. For reasons unknown, he shot and killed the GM and wounded two others. At the time I was a TV news photographer and covered the immediate aftermath of the shootings. The shooter ran from the scene of the shootings only to be surrounded by police at a different location minutes later. Shooter blew his brains out, I happened to get it on tape. I was close enough that I got sprayed with his aerosolized brain goo. That portion of the video tape never aired, in case anybody wonders. I knew one of they guys who got wounded. He was the studio production manager at the cable TV place. Even tho we were competitors of sorts, we worked together many times over the years. TV is a very small biz and everybody knows everybody else. I can’t say we were best friends but we’d been known to quaff a beer or two together on occasion. About a year after the shootings, this guy died of his wounds. In a twist of fate, I ended up taking his position at the cable company and as such, I inherited his office. They left his office pretty much as it was from the day of the shootings. It was very odd walking in to see what was on his desk and apparently working on the day he got shot. It was even weirder going through his office removing his personal belongings and going through his filing cabinets. There were a few things that I probably should not have seen. On the one year anniversary of the shootings, the GM’s widow decided to have a memorial Mass and gathering to honor the memory of her late husband. All of the employees were invited. The new GM said he was not going to Mass or the gathering afterward and suggested same for me. He explained that our presence at these events would be “awkward”. I told the GM that I had stuff I had to do that day so I planned to be at the office but I’d keep a very low profile. GM said that would be acceptable and that I should just try to be invisible. The after Mass gathering was held in an employee picnic area just outside the office. I was able to come and go through a back door so nobody knew I was there. Replacing this guy felt very weird all along but it felt especially weird being more invisible than usual that day. ---
**Author:** ![veryfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/87869e/32.png) [@veryfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veryfrank)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/78 "2022-01-04T16:22:32Z")
When I was in high school, a classmate’s father committed a murder-suicide: killed his wife with a chainsaw then himself with a hunting knife. The classmate was at school at the time. I suppose I must have met him at one point, as the classmate had thrown a house party a few years earlier so I’d been to her place. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/79 "2022-01-04T16:23:43Z")
> [@veryfrank](#): > > killed his wife with a chainsaw then himself with a hunting knife That’s hardcore. ---
**Author:** ![Turble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Turble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turble)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151/80 "2022-01-04T17:21:15Z")
In the early 1970s I knew a coke dealer in Miami. He and his body guard were found chopped up, floating in the ocean in plastic garbage bags. A casino dealer I worked with in Las Vegas in the late 1970s was having money problems and started selling coke. A few weeks later he was found dead in his apartment, strangled with an electric extension cord. A casino executive I worked with in Las Vegas in the late 1980s. He was a big, good looking black man with a white, rather trashy girlfriend. She might have been hooking; I didn’t know and didn’t care. Police broke into their apartment and choked him out. I would say they murdered him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-known-a-murder-victim-or-murderer/957151.md?page=5)