# Ever move for a partner? How'd it turn out? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 2, 2014, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820 "2014-06-02T06:24:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/21 "2014-06-03T17:17:02Z")
> [@Geek\_Mecha](#): > > I noticed! šŸ˜ƒ Iā€™m so glad you and **Asimovian** are doing well. Heā€™s worth moving for. I told him before we married that I wouldnā€™t move to Yemen for himā€¦ but I would. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/22 "2014-06-03T20:38:37Z")
The spouse and I went to college together. When we got married, we agreed that whoever got a good job first, the other one would relocate to wherever it was. The spouse was a Computer Science major. He accepted an offer to work at a company in the Bay Area, so as soon as he graduated (I already had, but no good offers yet so I was working in town) we loaded all our stuff into the company-paid-for moving van and set off for Sunnyvale. That was 25 years ago. Weā€™re still here (in the Bay Area, not in Sunnyvale), weā€™re very happy here, and both of us have good jobs. So yeah, it worked out pretty well for us. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/23 "2014-06-04T00:21:53Z")
_I_ didnā€™t move for a partner, but had a partner move for me. After four years of a long-distance relationship, she moved from New York City to move in with me in Chicago. Fortunately, we are both urbanites and love to be where the cement grows. Itā€™s been six years now and we couldnā€™t be happier. Her only regret is the pizza here. But her tastes are slowly improving. ---
**Author:** ![akeimi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f0a364/32.png) [@akeimi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akeimi)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/24 "2014-06-04T01:22:26Z")
> [@Geek\_Mecha](#): > > My ex and I met in 2004 playing FFXI, a MMORPG, when we were both 27ish. He was in Ohio and Iā€™m in Los Angeles. I met my husband in FFXI, too! That game had an off-the-charts ā€œmarriage rateā€, before they introduced Abyssea and transformed it into a generic ā€œsingle-player MMOā€. I suspect the same was true for Everquest. And yes, I moved to live with him - but only after dating long-distance for several years with frequent visits. We saw each other at least one weekend per month, often two weekends. When we werenā€™t physically together, we spent evenings texting, video chatting, or playing FFXI together. We became engaged, and only then tackled the question of ā€œmy town or yoursā€. I was not willing to uproot my life until I was certain that we were in this for the long haul. Six years later (3 of dating/engagement, 3 of marriage), I have no regrets. I live in a town I dislike, but Iā€™m in the best relationship I could have imagined. ---
**Author:** ![Dunkelheit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dunkelheit/32/248_2.png) [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/25 "2014-06-17T08:03:58Z")
> [@Valentine](#): > > I was just thinking about at what point one decides to turn their life around for someone. So, if youā€™ve ever had to start a life together with a partner and moved somewhere new, tell me how it turned out? At what point in the relationship did you decide it was a good decision? I have immigrated twice for someone. Two different someones, that is. The first time I was lucky enough to marry into a large and active social circle, so the transition was pretty smooth even after the marriage failed. They were decent enough to be able to stay friends with us both without taking sides. The decision to move to be with him was made about two months after we met online and about a month after he asked me to marry him (I know, I know). The second time is current, and itā€™s a bit more of a struggle, because Iā€™m farther from my family and friends in both distance and logistics (damned ocean) and itā€™s very hard for me to make new friends, so after four years I still only have one or two local people I can call friends, and I only see one of them with anything resembling regularity (every few months or so is regular, right?). But itā€™s interesting being in an older country than Iā€™m used to, and I couldnā€™t imagine not being with Him Indoors. The decision to move was made about 9 years after we met online, and about 7 years after we fell in love (also online). I had met him in person twice in the intervening time, but we hadnā€™t actually kissed until after we were technically engaged. šŸ˜‰ Things were complicated. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/26 "2014-06-17T09:04:32Z")
I moved to Sydney Australia 11 years ago for my husband. We met on Usenet. Still deliriously happy. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/27 "2014-06-17T09:14:35Z")
I moved to Sydney to start living with my first wife about 40 years ago. We divorced a few years later but are still close friends and see each other frequently. She is my regular date for gigs, weddings, holidays, well anything really. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/28 "2014-06-17T13:41:14Z")
> [@Whatever4](#): > > Followed my husband from the city to his new job in the middle of nowhere. He thrived in the isolation. I filed for divorce. That was my first marriage. Ten years in a very rural (albeit beautiful) area, isolated from family, friends, any kind of a job. There were other issues that were part of the divorce, but stress from living in the middle of nowhere was a big problem for me. Second marriage, I moved from the Mid-Atlantic coast of the US to the south of England. There are a few things I miss from the US, but I am not homesick and would much rather live here ā€“ my quality of life has improved tremendously and being tenured faculty in a friendly, colleagiate department is a kabillion times better than thrashing about in adjunct hell in a hostile one. He came over to the States for a week so we could get married in Elkton (about two miles from my home). Iā€™m in the process of applying for permanent settlement. ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/29 "2014-06-17T14:22:52Z")
I dated a guy who had moved to Louisville from St. Louis to start a business.Business required him to move to Atlanta six months later and I went with him. A year and a half after that, things were well established in Atlanta and it was time for him to move back to St. Louis. I wasnā€™t going to make another move without getting married, so that decision had to be made. When he said he needed to talk to me, I seriously didnā€™t know whether I was about to get engaged or dumped. I got dumped. One of the big factors was that we had realized over time that he was more devoted to his Catholicism than he had realized. I had left the Catholic Church. I tried going back for a while, but it was not for me and I couldnā€™t agree to raise my kids Catholic. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/30 "2014-06-17T14:50:43Z")
About 3 years into our marriage, my ex-wife and I moved from Columbia, SC, to Winston-Salem, NC. The library there wasnā€™t hiring, so I wound up after some time with a temp agency working for a major bank headquartered there. Although the job with the bank was some of the worst time of my life, they did have a tuition reimbursement plan that got me through grad school, which combined with the tech support experience I gained there, got me where I am today. Long story short, I still have the degree and the job it got me, though the wife who took me there and I parted ways 7 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/31 "2014-06-17T16:58:45Z")
Not only did I move for my fiancƩe, I moved to the _South_. I love her, but I was homesick for Chicago for years. I still miss the pizza and the baseball. But, I gradually grew to love my adopted home also - mostly. And I certainly rather be here with her, then back there without her. ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/32 "2014-06-17T17:02:07Z")
When I was 20, I moved from Indianapolis to Detroit to live with my boyfriend/fiance. We lasted about 3 years; we were living with his mother, and when I finally insisted that we get an apartment of our own before planning the wedding, he balked. We broke up and I moved back to Indianapolis. We got back together briefly, after a few months, but it turned out he had started dating someone else during our brake up, and wanted to still see both of us. Then he got her pregnant and ā€œhad to marry herā€. It was a good learning experience, but Iā€™m very glad we didnā€™t stay together. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/33 "2014-06-17T18:04:44Z")
Wow. Three Ohio-to-Los Angeles pairs in this thread. I always knew there was something funny in that midwest water you people drink. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/34 "2014-06-17T18:14:18Z")
**Ever move for a partner?** For my gf, this past weekend. **Howā€™d it turn out?** The carpet is clean and fresh! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/35 "2014-06-17T18:21:20Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > The first time was in 1998. I was newly divorced and met this guy who lived near Harrisburg, PA. I moved in with him, we got married, and that lasted a whole four years. Probably a Steelers fan. Iā€™d just got back in touch with a gal Iā€™d become friends with in college when I decided to leave the company I was with. She was up in Colorado, I already had ties there so I figured hey, letā€™s see if this will work. We were engaged several years later and have been married for 17 now. Best _move_ I ever made. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/36 "2014-06-17T18:36:16Z")
I neglected to make clear in my earlier post that we moved because my then-wife got a promotion. ---
**Author:** ![humbled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@humbled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/humbled)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/37 "2014-06-17T20:08:04Z")
Yup. Still together after a year. I moved for her to another part of the state. Quit my job. Got a new one. Then quit. Lol. But thereā€™s obviously more to it than that. Sheā€™s the first and only girl I have lived with. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/38 "2014-06-17T20:34:43Z")
I didnā€™t, but my partner did. We met in NYC, and tried to live together, before realizing that weā€™re totally incompatible as apartment-mates. Then I had to relocate here to help take care of my aging parents. So I moved in with them, and my partner bought the house next door. Now my parents are gone, and the two of us are happy staying here. ---
**Author:** ![Dunkelheit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dunkelheit/32/248_2.png) [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/39 "2014-06-18T12:31:41Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Wow. Three Ohio-to-Los Angeles pairs in this thread. I always knew there was something funny in that midwest water you people drink. šŸ˜‰ I know someone else who moved from Ohio to California for their partner, though Iā€™m not sure how close to LA it was. Theyā€™ve both moved back to Ohio now, though I think they separated in the meantime. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820/40 "2014-06-18T17:53:30Z")
I just did. Got a new, challenging job and have moved in with the gf and her two kids. Thatā€™s a lot of change all at once, but so far itā€™s all good. As a younger person, I doubt I would have been able to handle this. But I feel great about. Being over 40 is pretty good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-move-for-a-partner-howd-it-turn-out/689820.md?page=3)