# Ever "spoken now" and not "held your peace" at a wedding? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 9, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333 "2004-03-09T19:40:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![geewhiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f0a364/32.png) [@geewhiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/geewhiz)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/41 "2004-03-12T01:41:47Z")
Hey Springer! or maury ---
**Author:** ![ImSoForlorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@ImSoForlorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ImSoForlorn)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/42 "2004-03-12T02:35:26Z")
> [@Deadly Nightlight](#): > > Well lets see. Have you talked at all to the other woman? Do you know if she is content in her realtionship? If you walked up to her right now and said “Don’t get married, I am in love with you!” What do you think her reaction would be? I have talked to her plenty, just not about this. 🙂 I am assuming that she is not happy in her relationship because she is talking to my current girlfriend all the time about what a dick her fiance is, and how he’s always hanging out with other girls, or how he’s always doing drugs or whatever. She’s always hanging up on him when he calls (at least when we’re around). So, it doesn’t really seem that she’s uber-happy, but she is still going forward with the marriage, so it’s really hard to say. But like I said earlier… how do you tell the difference between true love and a “something I can never have” obsession? ---
**Author:** ![Deadly\_Nightlight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Deadly\_Nightlight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deadly_Nightlight)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/43 "2004-03-12T03:17:57Z")
[http://www.teenwire.com/index.asp?taStrona=http://www.teenwire.com/warehous/articles/wh\_20021120p161\_obsession.asp](http://www.teenwire.com/index.asp?taStrona=http://www.teenwire.com/warehous/articles/wh_20021120p161_obsession.asp) Well there is an article that talks about obsession. It is geared towards teens, however, it makes some valid points. ---
**Author:** ![ImSoForlorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@ImSoForlorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ImSoForlorn)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/44 "2004-03-12T03:34:06Z")
> [@Deadly Nightlight](#): > > Well there is an article that talks about obsession. It is geared towards teens, however, it makes some valid points. Well, I guess I’m totally, like, crushing on her. 😛 Thanks for the article, though. ---
**Author:** ![Deadly\_Nightlight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Deadly\_Nightlight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deadly_Nightlight)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/45 "2004-03-12T03:37:53Z")
> [@ImSoForlorn](#): > > Well, I guess I’m totally, like, crushing on her. 😛 > > Thanks for the article, though. OK OK OK, so I should have picked a more adult article 😃 However, I think if you take a good hard look at yourself and her, you will probably find your own answer to the question. ---
**Author:** ![geewhiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f0a364/32.png) [@geewhiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/geewhiz)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/46 "2004-03-12T03:39:26Z")
\*\*Deadly Nightlight \*\* : I read the article and it made some very sound points. You just have to ignore the teen lingo. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/47 "2004-03-12T03:39:57Z")
> [@Deadly Nightlight](#): > > Lets just say it made for a miserable wedding day. All right-I’m sorry if I was out of line, I was just curious. At any rate, I would advise the OP-if you want to talk to her, tell her now. Don’t wait until it’s too late and make her feel even worse. ---
**Author:** ![Deadly\_Nightlight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Deadly\_Nightlight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deadly_Nightlight)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/48 "2004-03-12T04:01:06Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > All right-I’m sorry if I was out of line, I was just curious Nah, if I put myself out of the picture, the memory isn’t so bad :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/49 "2004-03-12T06:54:34Z")
> [@SnoopyFan](#): > > If you pull that stunt at this girl’s wedding you’re gonna deserve the ass kicking you’ll surely get. > > Why even tell her? If she wanted you, she’d be with you. She’s marrying another guy because she wants to. You’re gonna bust up her wedding and tell her you love her: and then what? Is she supposed to ride off with you on your Harley and live happily ever after? What are you wanting to accomplish? I’m sensing a need for drama and attention more than actual love here. Why do you need an audience before you tell her? Why not just do it tonight and be done with it? > > You probably wouldn’t even WANT her if she wasn’t about to get married, boyfriends and girlfriends alike have a tendency to come out of the woodwork when an ex gets engaged. > > You blew your shot at her. Move on and let her be happy and don’t ruin her wedding day. Gotta say that this rings true to me. ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/50 "2004-03-13T02:18:53Z")
I’MSOFORLORN what does your “current girlfriend” think of the situation?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2004, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/51 "2004-03-13T03:05:51Z")
I actually have a friend whose father and stepmother omitted the “speak now or forever hold your peace” line from the wedding, because they knew that all of the kids would protest the wedding. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333/52 "2004-03-13T03:11:39Z")
> [@ImSoForlorn](#): > > I am assuming that she is not happy in her relationship because she is talking to my current girlfriend all the time about what a dick her fiance is, and how he’s always hanging out with other girls, or how he’s always doing drugs or whatever. She’s always hanging up on him when he calls (at least when we’re around). If you are uncomfortable telling her that you love her, let your **current** girlfriend know. The bride to be will find out soon enough. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-spoken-now-and-not-held-your-peace-at-a-wedding/233333.md?page=2)