# Ever tied up your spouse (or S/O)? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 20, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437 "2003-08-20T14:16:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/21 "2003-08-21T12:29:41Z")
We had metal cuffs but they can bruise and they can scratch the bedposts. I like the velcro ones we found better 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/22 "2003-08-21T13:24:23Z")
Now try tying yourself up and leaving yourself for your SO ot find. It’s not that tough with cuffs. The thing is that I always feel a bit silly tying her up. This takes time and cooperation from her. This kind of blows the ‘I’m forcing you’ fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/23 "2003-08-21T13:53:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*The thing is that I always feel a bit silly tying her up. This takes time and cooperation from her. This kind of blows the ‘I’m forcing you’ fantasy. \*\* I agree, but SmithWife always seems to bounce back nicely. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jeevmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@jeevmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeevmon)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/24 "2003-08-21T14:05:03Z")
(Forewarning - **Eva Luna** , if you’re reading this, you cannot mention a word of this to certain people we both know who might not like that I mention things like this on a public forum) There are faux fur lined cuffs available from a number of sources that are quite comfortable and versatile. Check out the Kookie Cuffs from Babes in Toyland ([www.babeland.com](http://www.babeland.com)) for a sample. With these and a few low-cost parts from a hardware store, you have a fairly versatile set for hours of entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/25 "2003-08-21T14:06:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zoid \* > \*\*I’ve done it twice at my partners request both times and never really saw the point in it. I just didn’t find it sexy. > But I’m certainly not trying to tell anyone else what is acceptable for them, just how I felt about it. \*\* I’m with **zoid** on this one. My current girlfriend/SO/whatever very much enjoys being restrained. She also likes kind of rough stuff – having her hair pulled, being slapped, etc. I find the tying-up part just boring. The other stuff I just can’t bring myself to do. It creeps me out. This (among other things), is why I’ll be breaking up with her in the next week or two. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/26 "2003-08-21T15:01:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LMM \* > \*\*I’m with **zoid** on this one. My current girlfriend/SO/whatever very much enjoys being restrained. She also likes kind of rough stuff – having her hair pulled, being slapped, etc. > > I find the tying-up part just boring. The other stuff I just can’t bring myself to do. It creeps me out. > > This (among other things), is why I’ll be breaking up with her in the next week or two. \*\* :eek: Sooo…you’re willing to post intimate details about your girlfriend’s sexual desires, but only with the pleasent and friendly cavaete that they creep you out? But then of course she won’t be your current girlfriend for much longer…as soon as you get around to telling her…right after you tell a bunch of strangers that you’re breaking up with her and that she creeps you out. Tacky. Very tacky. I’ve known plenty of sadists who treat the women in their live with more consideration than that. ---
**Author:** ![whatami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85f322/32.png) [@whatami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatami)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/27 "2003-08-21T15:10:01Z")
I used ties before. You know, like neckties. It ruins the ties but at the time I didn’t really care. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/28 "2003-08-21T15:10:25Z")
If anyone’s looking for real leather handcuffs, I highly recommend the ones from Leather by Danny - they are unparalled. [www.leatherbydanny.com](http://www.leatherbydanny.com). SO much nicer than the Velcro ones. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/29 "2003-08-21T15:37:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by betenoir \* > \*\*:eek: Sooo…you’re willing to post intimate details about your girlfriend’s sexual desires, but only with the pleasent and friendly cavaete that they creep you out? > > But then of course she won’t be your current girlfriend for much longer…as soon as you get around to telling her…right after you tell a bunch of strangers that you’re breaking up with her and that she creeps you out. > > Tacky. Very tacky. > > I’ve known plenty of sadists who treat the women in their live with more consideration than that. \*\* Excuse me, but bullshit. I responded to a post that echoed my sentiments. I responded anonymously, without identifying the woman in question. This is a thread where these kinds of questions are asked. The OP asked about experience with this kind of stuff, and I responded. And I did _not_ say that _she_ creeps me out – rather that some of her sexual predilections make me really uncomfortable, and that, since sexual compatibilty is important in a relationship, this makes me pretty sure that we won’t last. ---
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/30 "2003-08-21T17:37:32Z")
Yea, my SO and I don’t really see the point either. If I wanted someone to be immobile, I’d hump a corpse. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/31 "2003-08-21T18:51:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Omnipresent \* > \*\*Yea, my SO and I don’t really see the point either. > > If I wanted someone to be immobile, I’d hump a corpse. \*\* Thanks for your understanding :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/32 "2003-08-21T19:27:18Z")
Tied up isn’t necessarily immobile although I have seen some equipment that certainly would render the tied immobile. Bondage ranges from the OP’s very loose symbolic playing to some major hard core stuff that is definitely for the serious only. The point isn’t to have a ‘corpse’ or have the other person unable to participate… It is to be the one who controls the other person’s pleasure and participatory ability. (I’m not saying this game’s for everyone but I also know there’s a lot of misunderstanding out there about what bondage entails) ---
**Author:** ![October](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@October](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/October)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/33 "2003-08-21T20:06:11Z")
I’ve never done it, but I think it would be kind of hot. However, I don’t think I could EVER get my SO to participate–he’s too much of a gentleman. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/34 "2003-08-22T03:13:43Z")
Fuckin hot. I love it one way or the other way… as long as the restraints cooperate. There’s nothing more dull than spending five minutes dicking with some ropes, and nothing scarier than rope burns where you’re not suppoosed to have rope burns. But yeah, getting it or giving it, I appreciate it a great deal. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/35 "2003-08-22T03:26:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by October \* > \*\*I’ve never done it, but I think it would be kind of hot. However, I don’t think I could EVER get my SO to participate–he’s too much of a gentleman. \*\* I’ll take his place. As far as the OP goes, I’ve done it several times. It’s been my experience that generally the woman is the one who requests to be tied down, though I have no problem being the one strapped down. There’s a power in surrender. It’s a trust issue. And it feels great. ---
**Author:** ![Zap\_Rowsdower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3da27b/32.png) [@Zap\_Rowsdower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zap_Rowsdower)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/36 "2003-08-22T13:09:03Z")
For some reason the women I have gone out with that were interested in this tended to prefer tying me up rather than being tied up themselves. I must admit it is enjoyable, and I don’t have to do any of the work! Personally I enjoy both as well. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437/37 "2003-08-22T13:20:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by October \* > \*\*I’ve never done it, but I think it would be kind of hot. However, I don’t think I could EVER get my SO to participate–he’s too much of a gentleman. \*\* Do you want to tie him up or do you want to be tied up? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-tied-up-your-spouse-or-s-o/196437.md?page=1)