# Ever wanted/loved/needed someone so badly that it was literally painful? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 1, 2010, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186 "2010-07-01T13:38:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/21 "2010-07-01T19:17:52Z")
What the OP describes sounds suspiciously like the latest Pink song, _Glitter in the Air_. For what it’s worth, I’ve felt that way, but not really since I was a teenager and all angsty. A lot of it had to do with lack of self-confidence, though. I have a husband who I adore, but when I was younger, I let my romantic relationships define me; I don’t do that anymore. However, if you were to ask me about my children… Obviously, completely not sexual, but sometimes thinking about them hurts. But it’s because I can’t seem to help but think about all the things that could happen to them and I know that one day I’ll no longer be the world to them, the “perfect” person I am to them now. I try not to be all obsessive about it, though, 'cause you can’t change it (nor should you) and that’d be weird and confusing for them. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/22 "2010-07-01T19:30:16Z")
When I was 20, one of my coworkers was almost unbearably beautiful. It was sometimes hard to be around her because, dammit, I couldn’t think of anything else. We ended up dating for about a year and a half. ---
**Author:** ![Panurge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@Panurge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Panurge)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/23 "2010-07-01T19:41:53Z")
Yes. Let’s not bring that up again. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/24 "2010-07-01T19:42:52Z")
Except for the actual consummation, the description sounds like the definition of [boy](http://media.thestar.topscms.com/images/b4/7f/3007525f49e7a614ae1f1dafa73d.jpeg) [band](http://theinvisibleagent.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/beatlesfan12.jpg) [fandom](http://pixdaus.com/pics/UKPvnLlG3gNvw91TMG.jpg). Screaming, ripping out your own hair, not being able to eat or sleep because you want Justin Bieber/NKOTB/NSYNC/Backstreet Boys/Hanson/Ringo so bad. I didn’t really go through it, but I had friends who did. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/25 "2010-07-01T20:25:18Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > **John DiFool** , did you just watch Twilight? Well, Eclipse? Because my friends dragged me last night and your OP is basically a quote from that. I’m more concerned about that than the question posed in the OP, because if so, I’m scared for you, sir. 😉 Nope-have successfully steered clear of anything associated with that franchise. Thank you for your concern tho. 🆒 > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Are you talking about sexual attraction or strong emotional feelings? Both/either: could be a mixture of the two. The emphasis here is on something which is so blissfully intense that nothing can soothe it over (as **tdn** said in post #14). ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/26 "2010-07-01T20:35:20Z")
> [@PapSett](#): > > To me, he was the other half of my soul. Did he feel that way too? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/27 "2010-07-01T20:41:27Z")
Yes. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/28 "2010-07-01T20:54:26Z")
I’m in it. Or, hopefully getting over it. Horrible. Or is it? ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/29 "2010-07-01T20:55:38Z")
Not in the least. Thank god. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/30 "2010-07-01T20:59:53Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > I’m in it. Or, hopefully getting over it. > > Horrible. > > Or is it? In the example I cited above, it was awesome. I wouldn’t trade the memory of it for anything. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/31 "2010-07-01T21:21:10Z")
[Raising hand, jumping up & down] OH! OH! YES, ME! ME! [/Raising hand, jumping up & down] It rearranged my DNA and re-wired my brain. I haven’t been the same person since. I’m scarred for life. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/32 "2010-07-01T23:27:40Z")
Yes. Then she dumped me. I got better, eventually. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/33 "2010-07-02T02:06:26Z")
Yes. My feelings were not reciprocated. She did offer her friendship and I accepted. We are still friends, 44 years after the event. ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/34 "2010-07-02T02:24:05Z")
This has to be one of the best thread/username combinations yet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/35 "2010-07-02T02:32:40Z")
Ya noticed, eh? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/36 "2010-07-02T03:04:47Z")
Eventually. :o ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/37 "2010-07-02T03:26:14Z")
Yes, it was like that for me and my girlfriend when we were first seriously dating. We’ll celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary next month. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/38 "2010-07-02T06:02:42Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > Did he feel that way too? No. It was just casual friendship to him and he never knew how I felt. I am _ah hem_ quite a bit older than he is, and I think he looked at me as a security blanket. Like I said, it was quite an impossible situation, and I never deluded myself that the feelings would ever be returned. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/39 "2010-07-02T06:09:22Z")
Absolutely not. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186/40 "2010-07-02T06:17:18Z")
No. If you’re that insanely obessed with someone, especially someone you aren’t actually in a relationship with, then it’s pretty much a self generated ideal you’re obsessing on, not the actual person. It’s fantasy. It isn’t real. Nobody is that great. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wanted-loved-needed-someone-so-badly-that-it-was-literally-painful/545186.md?page=3)