# Ever wonder if a friend is a complete sociopath? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 29, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988 "2007-06-29T23:23:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/1 "2007-06-29T23:23:35Z")
Have you ever wondered if maybe that friend you’ve known for years underneath a careful facade is a complete sociopath? I’m not saying you’ve seen obvious and overt signs but every now and then a little flicker from underneath the surface shines through. It is a weird thought that maybe a person you know and care about and you think cares about you, maybe they really don’t like you quite so much or are indifferent towards your well-being. Sure they’ll give you a ride to work or what not because if they didn’t it would blow their cover and you provide them with a bit of entertainment. But maybe every time you have a personal tragedy, inside they are relishing every moment of it, rooting for something even worse to happen, you are merely a toy for their amusement. It isn’t something I think about all the time but it is a thought that crosses my mind now and again. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/2 "2007-06-29T23:37:38Z")
Are you speaking hypothetically? Or is there a particular friend who exhibits behavior that you find odd? If it’s not hypothetical, what sorts of things send up red flags? IANAPshrink, but my fiancee is mentally ill and a lot of the people I know are as well (must be something in the water in Tallahassee), so I’ve developed a fairly keen sense of whether or not a person has a chemical or spychological imbalance. C’mon, give us some details! ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/3 "2007-06-29T23:38:35Z")
I’m speaking hypothetically but I also do know somebody, a family member actually that displays some sociopathic tendencies. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/4 "2007-06-29T23:38:47Z")
Way back when, I had a friend (okay, not really a friend- he was in our gaming group) who just freaked me out. I couldn’t stand to have the guy stand behind me. My wife once told me, after a night of gaming, “Never leave me alone with him. He scares me.” We never did figure out what was so creepy about him. ---
**Author:** ![RyJae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@RyJae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RyJae)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/5 "2007-06-30T00:27:19Z")
I had a friend oh many years ago, who would not just kill animals but torture them horribly badly. It was the first time in my life (being 15ish) that I “snitched” out a friend. Because it freaked me out. He didn’t find out it was me, got sent to therapy, and joked about how “they thought they where helping him, it was just animals nothing was wrong with him etc” What was weird was he was normal on the surface, and normal when talking and hanging out at the mall etc. But something inside of him was off, in a strange unexplainable way. Long story short, I left home a few months later and lost contact with him. A few years go by, I’m back in town, find out he raped an elderly lady and then killed himself. I always wondered if with the animal abuse and other oddities if they would’ve sent him away if it would’ve stopped all of that. But 20/20 hindsight and all that. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/6 "2007-06-30T00:44:21Z")
I worked in a pharmacy in my small hometown for years. We had a customer that _completely creeped me out_. It wasn’t anything overt, and the pharmacist thought I was nuts, but my gut fairly shouted, “Run away! Run away!” I always thought I’d see him in the paper after he strangled his wife and then sat there eating tuna casserole over her body, but I haven’t. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![Commodore\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@Commodore\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commodore_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/7 "2007-06-30T01:17:38Z")
I had an epiphany regarding my then-BFF when we were doing the same behavior as in the “Spot the Crime!” thread. He thought it was cool to aim the flame right at me. We fucked around with fire _a lot_ together, but I don’t like fire. At least, not in my face. I back away from the guy and his homemade flamethrower, with my back closer and closer to the side of my house. He keeps walking toward me. Cuz in no way am I in any _real_ danger, and looking at a fireball right in front of me but not actually on me is cool, right? “Haha, real funny, stop now will ya man, seriously…” guess he didn’t care. Nothing happened, but it was a weird moment. He sure enjoyed himself, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/8 "2007-06-30T01:21:04Z")
**Commodore Penguin** , I’d probably have kicked at the guy’s jimmy to make him back off, and told him if he didn’t stop, I would connect. And I’d blow him off by telling him “Aw, you’re _fine_, I didn’t actually wrack you, you big wussy.” too. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/9 "2007-06-30T01:50:42Z")
One of my best childhood friends almost got the death penalty after following a casino winner home and executing him on his knees while he agreed to hand over the money. He is suspected of being a minor leauge serial killer as well but it has never been proven. ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/10 "2007-06-30T02:51:55Z")
My youngest brother has been diagnosed a sociopath. He was “off” from a very young age, the first time he shoplifted he was four. He escalated to animal abuse/torture to hurting my other brother and myself and then others, both friends and strangers. He quit going to school when he was ten, became a junkie who manufactures meth in order to obtain his drugs of choice (heroin and cocaine), and is a “career criminal”, currently in Federal Detention waiting sentencing. No one knows what he is being sentenced for this time, as he lies, even when a lie does not benefit him he still will fabricate a lie instead of just telling the truth. As far as I know as fact he hasn’t killed anyone, but he has been abusive to every woman he has been with, and has committed acts of violence and vandalism without a second thought. It breaks my heart, but I will never let him know where I live. He is one of the main reasons I moved 1,500 miles from my home. Because of my background with my brother I was suspicious of my BFF for many years (20+ years) until she finally lost it and let her true colors show. I ended the friendship in 2001, and she has made a couple of attempts to renew the friendship, but I am not having any of it. The trait they both have in common is that whatever they want/think they deserve, they take by any means possible, and have absolutely no My youngest brother has been diagnosed a sociopath. He was “off” from a very young age, the first time he shoplifted he was four. He escalated to animal abuse/torture, quit going to school when he was ten, and is a “career criminal”, currently in Federal Detention waiting sentencing. No one knows what he is being sentenced for this time, as he lies, even when a lie does not benefit him he still will fabricate a lie instead of just telling the truth. As far as I know as fact he hasn’t killed anyone, but he has been abusive to every woman he has been with, and has committed acts of violence and vandalism without a second thought. It breaks my heart, but I will never let him know where I live. Because of my background with my brother I was suspicious of my BFF for many years (20+ years) until she finally lost it and let her true colors show. I ended the friendship in 2001, and she has made a couple of attempts to renew the friendship, but I am not having any of it. The trait they both have in common is that whatever they want/think they deserve, they take by any means possible, and have absolutely no conscience about who they hurt or what laws they break in order to get it. They are the center of the universe in their eyes, deceptive, cruel, and they can be very frightening. ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/11 "2007-06-30T03:03:44Z")
Bah, company walked in as I was previewing, so I hit submit without noticing the duplicate paragraph, please forgive! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/12 "2007-06-30T04:15:54Z")
My ex-wife’s mantra could be pretty much summed up as; **I’m sorry. It was an accident. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. _Why are you being so mean to me when I haven’t done anything wrong?_** No matter how much damage she inflicted, no matter what she actually did or what she destroyed, since she claimed not to be _trying_ to do it (bullshit), she considered herself completely free of guilt and therefore, YOU were the one being horribly horribly mean and emotionally abusive if you said anything about it. She once rolled over in bed and slammed her knee into my groin so hard that I thought I would have to go to the emergency room. A full 180 degree wind-up and slam. THEN she yelled at me. Because it was an accident, she wasn’t trying to hurt me, and I was being mean to her by acting like I was in pain. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/13 "2007-06-30T04:45:29Z")
[QUOTE=kaiwik] Bah, company walked in as I was previewing, so I hit submit without noticing the duplicate paragraph, please forgive! [/QUOTE] That’s just psychotic. ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/14 "2007-06-30T08:16:35Z")
Nah, the shrink says I’m not psychotic. OCD, anal retentive, with a bit of an anxiety disorder and some seasonal depression, but not psycho. It has been a frazzled day and I was hesitant to reveal that I am related to and have been friends with sociopaths, and in a moment of distraction hit submit too quickly. If you want to talk about psychotics, I know more than my fair share of them as well! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/15 "2007-06-30T11:32:25Z")
I’m that friend. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-wonder-if-a-friend-is-a-complete-sociopath/409988/16 "2007-06-30T12:31:01Z")
I had one that left no doubt in anybody’ mind. All people I know are instructed never to tell this person anything about me. My sister had a dangerous nut for a college room mate. I don’t know how somebody didn’t end up dead. The lady lost all control the last month of college.