# Every thing I know about Jesus, I learned from rock 'n roll **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 15, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220 "2005-11-15T21:11:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/1 "2005-11-15T21:11:05Z")
**Jesus** : … don’t want me for a sunbeam … was a Capricorn, he ate organic food … died for somebody’s sins, but not mine ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/2 "2005-11-15T21:13:33Z")
> [@amaranta](#): > > … died for somebody’s sins, but not mine At least the ones I got away with. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/3 "2005-11-15T21:18:59Z")
So you can make me come. That don’t make you Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/4 "2005-11-15T21:23:31Z")
Eh. Jesus is just all right. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/5 "2005-11-15T21:26:21Z")
… done left Chicago and he’s bound for New Orleans ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/6 "2005-11-15T21:26:47Z")
… built my hot rod! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/7 "2005-11-15T21:31:05Z")
You sad, pathetic man. See where you’ve brought us to, our ideals died around us, all because of you. And now the saddest cut of all: Someone had to turn you in, like a common criminal, a wounded animal. A jaded mandarin. A jaded mandarin. A jaded faded jaded faded jaded mandarin. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/8 "2005-11-15T21:38:47Z")
If you’re hung up on the pot, feel free to use his favorite shot. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/9 "2005-11-15T21:45:36Z")
When I’m feeling unknown and I’m all alone, flesh and bone, by the telephone - I lift up the receiver and he makes me a believer ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/10 "2005-11-15T21:49:00Z")
Jesus loves me, this I know. Gave me thouse seats to his show… Oh, when the cash (oh, when the cash) Starts rolling in (starts rolling in) Oh, when the cash starts rolling in (starts rolling in). Aren’t you glad you signed up the Savior when the cash starts rolling in? Glory to the box office. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/11 "2005-11-15T21:50:49Z")
You know all this because God gave rock 'n roll to you. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/12 "2005-11-15T21:51:55Z")
Prepare yourself you know it’s a must Gotta have a friend in Jesus So you know that when you die He’s gonna recommend you To the spirit in the sky ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/13 "2005-11-15T21:53:21Z")
When will God save the people? O Lord of Mercy when? The people, O the people Not thrones and crowns, but men ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/14 "2005-11-15T21:53:49Z")
Jesus, I know you can walk on water But can you walk on this much beer? ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/15 "2005-11-15T21:56:34Z")
[He could’ve played guitar better than Hendrix He could’ve told the future He could’ve baked the most delicious cake in the world He could’ve scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky He could’ve danced better than Barishnikov](http://www.commonplacebook.com/songs/jesus_way_cool.shtm) ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/16 "2005-11-15T21:58:29Z")
Jumping Jesus, my oh my, [he’s got a great big bottle of sunshine.](http://www.anna-begins.com/lyrics/?id=covers#jump) If God were here he’d tell you to your face, man you’re some kind of sinner. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/17 "2005-11-15T22:00:07Z")
Two men say they’re Jesus One of them must be wrong Where are you from Jesus? What do you want Jesus? Tell me ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/18 "2005-11-15T22:01:55Z")
Put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water Put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the sea Take a look at yourself and you can look at others differently By puttin’ your hand in the hand of the man from Galilee ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/19 "2005-11-15T22:21:56Z")
He knows me, and he know I’m right. I’ve been talking to Jesus all my life. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220/20 "2005-11-15T22:26:07Z")
[But friend, you just can’t keep a good man down](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/k/kinky-friedman/79469.html) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/every-thing-i-know-about-jesus-i-learned-from-rock-n-roll/331220.md?page=2)