# EVERYBODY knows the best time to cut trees is 11 p.m.! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 29, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779 "2005-03-29T16:03:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cards)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/21 "2005-03-29T18:58:30Z")
> [@The Devil's Grandmother](#): > > Oh **Duffer** , you absolutly must read [I stood next to the Emperor of the World at McDonald’s!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=152737&highlight=Emperor) . And another Sauron classic… > **[My wife is useless in an emergency (AKA the Cro-Magnon Yellowjacket Incident)](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=197918)** > > It started out as an innocent Sunday excursion. Our youngest Minion of Sauron is outgrowing his baby bed, and needs a new nesting place. (At least, my wife says so. I happen to like his baby bed, because thanks to the bars the little stinkpot can’t... ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/22 "2005-03-29T19:17:44Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > There’s always a line in a Sauron post that makes my cube mates wonder if I’m choking to death. (I should probably just go ahead and crack up out loud.) This was the line. That one got me too. Here I am, supposed to be working, and when my co-worker calls over to me with a question I respond with a half-giggle/half-strangle gurgle of the Sauron sort. Jeez, they must think me mad. ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/23 "2005-03-29T20:33:47Z")
And more **Sauron** Classics for **duffer** : [The Lowest Common Denominator at Winn-Dixie](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=156156) [explaining why you should ALWAYS take earplugs when you go Camping with the Boy Scouts](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=220442) [What happens when you leave two small Minions of Sauron in the keeping of the Ruler Of Mordor](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=246794). That oughta keep you giggling for a while. The Winn-Dixie one is, I think, my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/24 "2005-03-29T22:46:16Z")
Once, as my Mom and I were eating dinner, we heard a ominous sound of a chainsaw starting up across the street. It was well after dark and we looked at each other and both said simultaneously “Trimming trees in the dark is not a good idea.” Suddenly the chain sawing stopped. All was quite and peaceful. About 5 minutes later the paramedics showed up! Our neighbor was trimming a big tree limb that hung out over the road. He was trimming from below and as the limb came down it hit his ladder knocking him (and the afore mentioned chain saw) to the ground. Then to top it off the limb landed on him. I believe he broke his arm. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/25 "2005-03-30T13:48:29Z")
Heh. My wife, the lovely and talented **Aries28** , told me last night I shouldn’t start any more threads. She said I tend to get the big-head (and punctuated this statement with the actual sound-effect of air hissing) when I read some of the comments. I told her to hush, and keep on rubbing my feet, or I would unleash my legions of fans upon her. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/26 "2005-03-30T14:17:08Z")
> [@Aries28](#): > > You forgot the part where you told the kids they needed to pick between chocolate bunnies or enternal life because they couldn’t have it both ways. 😉 Bwhaaa! I’m of a mind that between the two of you those poor Minions are doomed… doomed I tell you! What an utterly enjoyable tale. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/27 "2005-03-30T15:48:11Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > Heh. > > My wife, the lovely and talented **Aries28** , told me last night I shouldn’t start any more threads. She said I tend to get the big-head (and punctuated this statement with the actual sound-effect of air hissing) when I read some of the comments. > > I told her to hush, and keep on rubbing my feet, or I would unleash my legions of fans upon her. **Aries28’s** stuff is much better than **Sauron’s** Bubbadog smiles, sits back, and waits for the results of his sly plan to compel both **Sauron** and **Aries28** to contribute **more** posts. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/28 "2005-03-30T18:02:38Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > **Aries28’s** stuff is much better than **Sauron’s** > Bubbadog smiles, sits back, and waits for the results of his sly plan to compel both **Sauron** and **Aries28** to contribute **more** posts. Actually, her “stuff” is much better than mine. And you can apply pretty much any definition you want to the word “stuff” and still have that be accurate. Why she married me is a mystery, but I try not to make her think about that too much – I’m scared she’ll wise up. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/29 "2005-03-30T18:14:18Z")
I want a story-telling contest, between **Sauron** , **Scylla** , **Cervaise** , and **Master Wang-ka**. Now. Right now. Knock us out with your wit. Outperform each other with your story-telling acumen. Force us to stifle giggles in our elbows. Awe us with your imaginative methaphors and analogies and references to literature. I’m waiting. Who’s got the cojones? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/30 "2005-03-30T18:19:56Z")
Damn. Just go ahead and give me the fourth-place trophy. I’ll be the Ringo Starr in that group and accept the position with pride. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/31 "2005-03-30T18:22:53Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > Damn. Just go ahead and give me the fourth-place trophy. I’ll be the Ringo Starr in that group and accept the position with pride. Giving up without a fight? Chicken. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779/32 "2005-03-30T18:38:04Z")
\ Encore, encore! Bravo, bravo! Me loves it–off to read the other links. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-knows-the-best-time-to-cut-trees-is-11-p-m/296779.md?page=1)