# Everybody must get groped... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 28, 2018, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137 "2018-09-28T20:40:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/1 "2018-09-28T20:40:27Z")
Everybody Must Get Groped Well, they’ll grope ya when you’re trying to be so good They’ll grope ya just a-like you knew they would They’ll grope ya when you’re tryin’ to go home Then they’ll grope ya when they think you’re all alone But I would not sit around and mope Everybody must get groped. Well, they’ll grope ya when you’re walkin’ ‘long the street They’ll grope ya when you’re sittin’ in your seat They’ll grope ya when you’re standin’ on the floor They’ll grope ya when you’re walkin’ out the door But I would not sit around and mope Everybody must get groped. They’ll grope ya when it’s night or when it’s day They’ll grope ya when you’re young or when you’re gray They’ll grope ya when you’re tryin’ to do your job They’ll grope ya all alone or in a mob Tell ya what, I would not sit around and mope Everybody must get groped. Well, They’ll grope you and say that it’s the end Then they’ll grope you and then they’ll come back again They’ll grope you when you’re ridin’ on the train They’ll grope you when you’re hot or when you’re plain Yes, but I would not sit around and mope Everybody must get groped. Well, they’ll grope you when you ride the elevator They’ll grope you and then act like it’s a favor They’ll grope you and then say you are brave They’ll grope you gettin’ ya ready for your grave But I would not sit around and mope Everybody must get groped. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/2 "2018-09-28T22:51:53Z")
I saw her yesterday, And she told me what to say, She said she gropes you, And you know that can’t be bad, She gropes you, And you know you should be glad, whooo She gropes you, yeah, yeah, yeah… She gropes you yeah, yeah, yeah… ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/3 "2018-09-28T22:58:01Z")
Yes, and how many times must a man grope up Before he is called a dope? Yes, and how many gropes must one man have Before he can hear people’s nope? Yes, and how many gropes will it take 'til he knows That no stranger likes his grope? The answer, my friend, is groping in the wind The answer is groping in the wind ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/4 "2018-09-28T23:33:02Z")
Grope, grope me do. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/5 "2018-09-28T23:48:30Z")
I know, I’ll, neeeehhhh-ver, grope, this way again, So I’ll keep gropin’ ooonnnnnnnnnnnn, Be-fore the, gro-pin’s gone. **I** know, I’ll, neeeehhhh-ver, grope, this way again, Grope ooonnnnnnnnn… Grope ooonnnnnnnnn… Gro-hoo-wope ooonnnnnnnnn… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/6 "2018-09-28T23:52:41Z")
Born down in a dead man’s town The first grope I took was when I hit the ground End up like a dog that’s been groped too much Till you spend half your life just covering up Groped in the U.S.A., I was groped in the U.S.A. I was groped in the U.S.A., groped in the U.S.A. Got in a little hometown jam So they put a penis in my hand Sent me off to a foreign land To go and blow the yellow man Groped in the U.S.A., I was groped in the U.S.A. Groped in the U.S.A., groped in the U.S.A. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/7 "2018-09-29T03:31:02Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > I know, I’ll, neeeehhhh-ver, grope, this way again, > So I’ll keep gropin’ ooonnnnnnnnnnnn, > Be-fore the, gro-pin’s gone. > **I** know, I’ll, neeeehhhh-ver, grope, this way again, > Grope ooonnnnnnnnn… > Grope ooonnnnnnnnn… > Gro-hoo-wope ooonnnnnnnnn… _snort_ Nice one! ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/8 "2018-09-29T03:35:42Z")
You ain’t nothing but a horn dog Gropin’ all the time You ain’t nothing but a horn dog Gropin’ all the time You ain’t never bought me dinner so you ain’t no date of mine ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/9 "2018-09-29T04:35:35Z")
Ol’ McDonald had grope, eieio And on his grope he had no hope, eieio, With a grope grope here, And a grope grope there, Here a grope, There a grope, Every where a grope, grope, eieio. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/10 "2018-09-29T06:11:27Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > _snort_ Nice one! \*nod back. Grooooooooooope on the waaahhhh-terrrrr. _cough_ Shitty one?🙂 She’s a big groper. She groped me half the way there, She’s a big groper, She groped me half the way there, now. She was a daaaaaaaay-ee-yay groper, One-way gro-per, yeah. The Gropist? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/11 "2018-09-29T07:07:15Z")
Holly came from Miami F.L.A. Groped her way across the USA ---
**Author:** ![Covfefe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Covfefe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covfefe)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/12 "2018-09-29T08:04:00Z")
**Disclaimer: this one is for adults only.** Groping - we do it every day We’re groping when we’re sleeping And even when we play And as we grow a little older We can grope more things Because I’m groping and so are you ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/13 "2018-09-29T09:49:42Z")
I’m never gonna grope again Guilty hands have got no rhythm Though it’s easy to pretend I know your not a fool Should’ve known better than to grope a friend And waste the chance that I’ve been given So I’m never gonna grope again The way I groped with you ---
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/14 "2018-09-29T12:25:12Z")
…Gina dreams of running away When she cries in the night, Tommy whispers Baby, it’s okay, someday Woah, I’m halfway there Woah, I’m groping on a prayer. Take my hand, And I’ll put it _down there,_ Woah, groping on a prayer We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got It doesn’t make a difference if she likes it or not. I’ve got a handful, and that’s a lot For love, I’ll give it a shot… ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/15 "2018-09-29T14:01:57Z")
Brent isn’t going to be happy with you people posting his yearbook poetry on the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/16 "2018-09-29T14:08:16Z")
\*Now everybody Have you heard If you’re in the game Then the Grope’s the word Don’t take no rhythm Don’t take no style Got a thirst for Gropin’ Grab your vile Put your right hand out Give a firm handshake Talk to me About the one big Grope And Grope me, Grope me Could be a winner boy you move quite well Grope me, Grope me (Grope!)\* ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/17 "2018-09-29T15:20:30Z")
Gropeout. (sung to the tune of _Wipeout)_ ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/18 "2018-09-29T16:05:59Z")
Groooooooping youuuuu, Is easy 'cause you’re beautiful ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/19 "2018-09-29T16:33:29Z")
You are so gropeable, To me, You are so gropeable, To me, Can’t you see, You’re everything I hope for, You’re everything I need, You are so gropeable, To me. * * * Love feel us up where we belong, Where the eagles cry, On a mountain high, Love feel us up where we belong, Far from the world below, Up where the clear winds blow. . . * * * There’s nothin’ you can do to turn me away, Nothin’ anyone can say, You’re with me now, and you can’t get away, Gropin’ you’s the right thing to do, Gropin’ you’s the right thing. . . ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/20 "2018-09-29T17:44:59Z")
I was going to just post Gropping!! With the tune of “Tequila!”, but less well known is that after that song was recorded by the American band The Champs, in Latin America the song got lyrics: So: (not the original lyrics BTW, English at the bottom; and Republicans that condone this can bite me.) Si quieres toda manosearla, prepara la sala y la cama. De forma como se estila, por tierras Americanas. Con la mano cubres la boca, después muerdes el limón, levanta, su pastel de copa, cometela de un tirón. Y como quema, pero es tan buena, te pides otra, casi sin respiración, ¡Manosear! * * * If you want to grope her hay, prepare living room and bed, The way that is preferred, in the lands of the USA. Your hand to clam her up, then you bite her lemon, raise her cupcake on, eat it whole in a gulp. And how it burns! but is so tasty! you ask another… Breathing hastily. Gropping! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137.md?page=2)