# Everybody must get groped... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 28, 2018, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137 "2018-09-28T20:40:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2018, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/41 "2018-09-30T21:11:51Z")
I’ll be groping you Groping you wherever you may go There isn’t an ocean too deep A mountain so high it can keep Keep me away! (Yep, I’m older than dirt, like this song) ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2018, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/42 "2018-09-30T21:33:11Z")
All the federal judges say They could have groped her every day They only let it go on for so long Out of indifference I suppose ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/43 "2018-09-30T22:26:57Z")
Oh what a gropity morning, Oh what a gropity day, I got gropity feeling, Ever’thin’s groping my way… ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/44 "2018-09-30T23:09:17Z")
Sometimes _luuuuuuvv_ don’t feel like it should You make it, grope so good. I’m gro-ping, on a jetplane Don’t know when I’ll be groped again. I can’t grooooooooooooope if groping is without you I can’t grooooooooooooope I can’t grope any-morrrrrrrrrrrrrrre! ---
**Author:** ![Sloe\_Moe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sloe\_Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sloe_Moe)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2018, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/45 "2018-09-30T23:44:45Z")
You give me dope… I mean grope. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/46 "2018-10-01T00:28:00Z")
Grope together, Right now, Over me… ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/47 "2018-10-01T00:53:26Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Brent isn’t going to be happy with you people posting his yearbook poetry on the Internet. Brett. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/48 "2018-10-01T17:37:20Z")
Some songs can be made _less_ naughty. [spoiler]\*What else is in the teaches of Peachs? Grope the Pain Away! Grope the Pain Away! \*[Peaches - Fuck the Pain Away - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpDmklLFXVc) [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/49 "2018-10-01T17:52:38Z")
Son, she said, have I got a little story for you What you thought was your daddy was nothin’ but a… While you were sittin’ home alone at age thirteen Your real daddy was gropin’, sorry you didn’t see him but I’m glad we talked ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/50 "2018-10-01T17:55:34Z")
Oh, God said to Abraham, “Give her a grope” Abe said, “Man, you must think that I’m a dope” God said, “No” Abe say, “What?” God say, “You can do what you want, Abe, but The next time you see me comin’, you better grope” Well, Abe said, “Where d’you want this gropin’ done?” God said, “Out on Highway 61” ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/51 "2018-10-01T18:13:39Z")
I don’t know why … I grope you like I do I don’t know why … I just do ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/52 "2018-10-01T18:18:18Z")
Well, I’ll tell you something. I just have got no class. Yes, I’ll tell you something. I wanna grope your ass. I wanna grope your ass. I wanna grope your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/53 "2018-10-01T18:28:36Z")
Only a dope would grope. Just say NO! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/54 "2018-10-01T18:49:44Z")
These are so cute! Can we do rape haiku next? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/55 "2018-10-01T18:56:17Z")
It’s not that easy being groued Having to spend each day guarding your backside When I think it could be nicer being dead, or a fellow or old Or something much less group-able like that ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2018, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/56 "2018-10-02T00:59:18Z")
Groping you, isn’t, the…right, thing, to do, How can I, ever grope thi-ings that I feel? If I could, maybe I’d give, you, my world, How can I, when you won’t grope it from me-eee? You can grope your own waaaaaaaaaaaay! (_GROPE_ your own waaaaay-ee-yay!) (guitar wail!) ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2018, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/57 "2018-10-02T02:17:23Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > These are so cute! Can we do rape haiku next? Preferable to an endless pissing contest with the Chester Molester apologists or sliding into a morass of helpless despair. You should have been there for my jokes when I was in the hospital thinking I was about to hit the floor with a heart attack. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2018, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/58 "2018-10-02T07:08:08Z")
On a warm summers evening On a train bound for nowhere I met up with a Groper We were both too tired to sleep ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2018, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/59 "2018-10-02T12:19:50Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > These are so cute! Can we do rape haiku next? Pain without pleasure limbs akimbo, clothing strewn a life torn apart. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2018, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/60 "2018-10-02T13:21:20Z")
What do you do with a drunken grouper? What do you do with a drunken grouper? What do you do with a drunken grouper? Ear-lie in the morning? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137.md?page=4)