# Everybody must get groped... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 28, 2018, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137 "2018-09-28T20:40:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/81 "2018-10-05T08:57:40Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Grope, grope me do. You know I’ll grope you! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/82 "2018-10-05T13:15:04Z")
Groping ends of smoky babe The smell of cold, hard liquor A person smiles; another grope is over Another one is coming… Touch me! It’s so easy to grope you All alone in the bathroom Of my hands up your skirt… If you touch me, you’ll understand what happiness is Groping someone does not make them hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/83 "2018-10-05T14:19:09Z")
Grope is the thing with feathers That stiffies up the pole, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That stops the flipping of the bird That kept the groper warm. I’ve groped it with the chillest hand, And on the strange panty; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a grope of me. Regards, [Emily Dickenson](https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/hope-thing-feathers-254) (sort of) ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/84 "2018-10-05T18:42:57Z")
I could have groped all night - I could have groped all night And still have groped some more… I could have dropped my pants And done a hootchie dance ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/85 "2018-10-05T20:15:15Z")
The other day while on the stair I met a man who groped me there. He groped me there again today. I wish that man would go away… ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/86 "2018-10-05T22:21:26Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > You’re giving grog to a fish? Where does that line form? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/87 "2018-10-05T22:26:46Z")
You gave me just enough grope, just enough grope, to keep me hanging on… ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/88 "2018-10-05T22:46:59Z")
You make me weak, I wanna die Just when you said we’d try Loving, touching, groping each other When I’m alone all by myself You’re out with someone else Loving, touching, groping each other You’re tearing me apart Every, every day You’re tearing me apart Oh, what can I say? You’re tearing me apart It won’t be long, yes, 'til you’re alone When your lover, oh, he hasn’t come home 'Cause he’s loving, ooh, he’s touching He’s groping another Naah Naah nah nah naah nah Nah naah nah naah naah nah… ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/89 "2018-10-05T22:53:21Z")
Some besotted evening You may grope a stranger ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/90 "2018-10-06T00:15:46Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Ol’ McDonald had grope, eieio > And on his grope he had no hope, eieio, > With a grope grope here, > And a grope grope there, > Here a grope, > There a grope, > Every where a grope, grope, eieio. bravo. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/91 "2018-10-06T01:43:28Z")
You just - keep, me, gro…pin’ o-o-onnnnnnnnnn. Any way you grope it That’s the way you need it Any way you grope it She loves to laugh She loves to grope She does everything She loves to move She loves to groove She loves the gropin’ things Ooh, all night All night Oh, every night So grope tight Gro-ope tight Ooh, baby, grope tight Oh, she said [Chorus] Any way you grope it That’s the way you need it Any way you grope it She said, Any way you grope it That’s the way you need it Any way you grope it I was alone I never knew What good gropes could do Ooh, then we groped Then we sang About the gropin’ things Ooh, all night All night Oh, every night So grope tight gro-ooooope tight Ooh baby grope tight! Oh, she said Any way you want it That’s the way you grope it Any way you want it I said, any way you want it That’s the way you grope it Any way you want it She said grooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-oh-oo-woh-oo-woh. Grooooope on Grooooope on Gro-hoo-wo-ho-hope onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. (like, _wicked_ guitar solo) Oh, she said any way you grope it That’s the way you need it Any way you grope it (Any way) Any way you grope it That’s the way you need it Any way you grope it Oh, she said any way you grope it That’s the way you need it Any way you grope it Any way you want it That’s the way you grope it Any way you want it X _ad nauseam_ ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/92 "2018-10-06T16:28:30Z")
As a response to [this post](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21251316&postcount=106): Let’s go guys, come on I’m going out tonight, I’m feelin’ alright Gonna let it all hang out Want to make some noise, really raise my voice Yeah, I want to scream and shout No inhibitions, make no conditions Get a little outta line I ain’t gonna act politically correct I only want to have a good time The best thing about being a man Is the prerogative to have a little fun and Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget she’s a lady Men’s shirts, short skirts Oh, oh, oh, really go wild yeah, doin’ it in style Oh, oh, oh, get in the action, feel the attraction Grab her hair, do what I dare Oh, oh, oh, I want to be free yeah, to feel the way I feel Man! I feel up a woman! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/93 "2018-10-06T17:41:09Z")
My, my - at Waterloo, Napoleon did grope Josephine Oh, yeah - and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way The sex manual on the shelf Is always repeating itself [Chorus] Groping me I was defeated, you won the war Groping me, promise to love you for ever more Groping me, couldn’t escape if I wanted to Groping me, knowing my fate is to be groped by you Gr-Gr-Gr-Gr groping me. My, my - I tried to hold you back, but you were stronger Oh, yeah - and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight And how could I be such a dope? I feel like I win when you grope ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/94 "2018-10-06T18:22:26Z")
People … People who grope people Are the yuckiest people in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2018, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/95 "2018-10-07T23:42:20Z")
Gropings… Nothing more than, gropings… /snip/ Grooooooooooo-pings, Whoh, whoh, whoh, groooooooo-pings. Frooooooooom, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis, momennnnnnt, As long as I live, I will grope youuuuuu, I promise you this: There is nothing, I wouldn’t grope From this moment, I will grope you As long as I live from this moment, onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn… ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2018, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/96 "2018-10-08T18:52:52Z")
One way or another I’m gonna find ya I’m gonna grope ya, grope ya, grope ya, grope ya… ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2018, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/97 "2018-10-08T20:49:22Z")
I don’t want anybody else, when I think about you I grope myself ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2018, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/98 "2018-10-09T07:02:55Z")
Snot running down his nose, Greasy fingers groping shabby clo-_hothes_. Hello… Is it me you’re groping for? Cause I wonder where you are, And I wonder who you grope, Are you lonely, are you hor-naaaay - is someone groping you? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/99 "2018-10-14T23:40:45Z")
Down, by, the, ri-i-verrrrrr, I, groped, my, lay-ay-deeeeee Almost…groped my hair today. The niiiiiiiiiiiiight they groped ole dixie down. Together, Wendy, we can live with the sadness, I’ll grope you with all the madness in my soul HO!!! Someday girl, I don’t know when, We’re gonna get to that place, where we really want to grope and we’ll walk in the sun But till then tramps like us - baby we were born to groooope Aw honey, tramps like us, baby we were born to grooooope Come on with me, tramps like us, baby we were born to grooooooope. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137/100 "2018-10-14T23:54:31Z")
One for the groping, Two for the grope, Three to get groping, Four to grope… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybody-must-get-groped/822137.md?page=6)