# Everybody's Nuts **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 13, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253 "2011-04-13T18:26:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/1 "2011-04-13T18:26:26Z")
It says here on this bag of pistachios… **Our Guarantee** _Everybody’s Nuts are 100% open. Should you find a closed nut in this package, do not attempt to negotiate with it. Send it in, and you’ll receive a FREE bag._ I think I already see at least two closed nuts 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/2 "2011-04-13T18:44:26Z")
Yeah, they’ll send you a free BAG. Didn’t say it’ll have anything in it though. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/3 "2011-04-13T18:46:08Z")
I don’t think I want to live in a world where everybody’s nuts are open. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/4 "2011-04-13T20:22:48Z")
You can clearly see their nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Simmerdown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simmerdown/32/14859_2.png) [@Simmerdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simmerdown)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/5 "2011-04-13T21:29:14Z")
Could they tell if you took a couple closed nuts from a different sack? ---
**Author:** ![Curious3d](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Curious3d](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curious3d)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/6 "2011-04-13T23:56:08Z")
I would think most people would be able to recognize their own nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/7 "2011-04-14T01:26:43Z")
Sometimes you feel like a nut. ---
**Author:** ![surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrounded_by_literalists)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/8 "2011-04-14T02:48:15Z")
What if you attempted to negotiate with it in spite of the package directions, because some of us negotiate with nuts fairly successfully on a regular basis? Does that void the warranty? What if you are a licensed nut negotiator? This promise is waaaay to abiguous. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/9 "2011-04-14T14:25:02Z")
> [@Simmerdown](#): > > Could they tell if you took a couple closed nuts from a different sack? Naturally that occurred to me (does that mean I’m devious, too?) but these are salt _and_ pepper pistachios. All other pistachios in my career have been salt only. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/10 "2011-04-14T15:39:46Z")
I love their S&P pistachios! I haven’t ever read the packaging though and now I’ll be on the lookout for closed nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everybodys-nuts/578253/11 "2011-04-14T16:36:12Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Sometimes you feel like a nut. And sometimes you don’t, dammit!