# Everyday gripes in haiku **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 3, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823 "2003-03-03T20:21:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![panache](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c77e96/32.png) [@panache](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/61 "2003-03-05T20:32:49Z")
Job requires zilch, Intelligence atrophies, Only bonus? Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/62 "2003-03-05T20:33:35Z")
I wait in car line Patiently, I inch. Asshole, merged in front of me. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/63 "2003-03-05T20:56:55Z")
Want to poop in peace Cow-orker interrupts me This pisses me off I pinch off the log Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, FUCK! So much for my peace! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/64 "2003-03-05T21:03:00Z")
**Bearflag70** inspired this one, not a gripe: Novice anal sex Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, FUCK! Now you know how-to. ---
**Author:** ![TeleTronOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4af34b/32.png) [@TeleTronOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeleTronOne)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/65 "2003-03-05T21:14:33Z")
TMI haikus Make me loudly gag at work Everybody stares ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/66 "2003-03-05T22:20:40Z")
CD selection I brought to work is boring. Sigh. The Doves again. This SlimFast shake is Sweet, but unsatisfying. Lasagne tonight! ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/67 "2003-03-05T22:49:20Z")
Do more with less Boss covers own ass Consider misdomeanor binge ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/68 "2003-03-06T02:02:13Z")
Head full of cotton Two lungs full of rattling snot Damn the common cold Claim you didn’t cheat Liar liar, pants on fire! Caught you redhanded Weathermen predict… What the hell is “wintry mix?” No snow day in sight ---
**Author:** ![petcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5fc32e/32.png) [@petcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/petcat)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/69 "2003-03-06T02:09:30Z")
**Ruby** ,best wishes Try hot tea and rest in bed No dates for a while ---
**Author:** ![The\_MacDairmuid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_MacDairmuid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_MacDairmuid)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/70 "2003-03-06T10:37:38Z")
Look for work, find none All want certs, certs i have none But I am smart guy Give me chance, I say Ninety days at reduced pay I will show my worth Ninety day is all I will have you in my thrall I am your guru ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/71 "2003-03-06T14:27:26Z")
Six weeks is too long for any business trip Husband, I miss you ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/72 "2003-03-06T15:11:05Z")
Homer’s Not Funny Everyone always says that. Has it jumped the shark? Straight Dope nitpickers “Your second line has eight syllables” They can eat my shit. ---
**Author:** ![nogginhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5e9695/32.png) [@nogginhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nogginhead)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/73 "2003-03-06T17:22:56Z")
Daughter in car seat. What gives? The car does not start! Left lights on. Moron. ---
**Author:** ![TeleTronOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4af34b/32.png) [@TeleTronOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeleTronOne)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/74 "2003-03-06T17:39:37Z")
They gave me ticket But why? I have a sticker What stupid morons ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/75 "2003-03-06T18:07:28Z")
We need new brochure Swampy must develop it But he don’t wanna! Not fair I should be The one to develop The stinkin’ brochure! But since I have to Will develop the brochure Still don’t want to tho! Maybe the brochure Will give papercuts to The ones who want it! Making up haiku Gripin’ bout the brochure is A whole lot more fun! Swampy will go now To make the stinkin’ brochure And get it over with! ---
**Author:** ![TeleTronOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4af34b/32.png) [@TeleTronOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeleTronOne)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/76 "2003-03-06T18:10:10Z")
Are you _brochure_ You want to do that swampy? “Groan” you say - oh well 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TeleTronOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4af34b/32.png) [@TeleTronOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeleTronOne)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/77 "2003-03-06T18:11:44Z")
Oh drat, I am dumb Only 4 syllables there Will they notice it? ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/78 "2003-03-06T18:25:44Z")
Canny office mate with a put-on helpless face “There is no toner…” ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/79 "2003-03-06T18:33:10Z")
Looks like somebody Has a case of the Mondays Boss sucks, “m’kay? Yeeeeeaaaaaah…” ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823/80 "2003-03-06T19:35:28Z")
Winter, let us go! Spring in fifteen days. Boat splashes soon. Sails up! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyday-gripes-in-haiku/158823.md?page=5)