# Everyone feel the shit I've sprayed on them? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 27, 2006, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160 "2006-03-27T21:59:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160/101 "2006-03-29T03:08:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Somewhat demented or mentally unbalanced As I said, I was thinking of you. What other excuse could there be? And since you want to keep this up, I know what touched means. Just checking if you were human. Lack of a sense of humor is usually indicative, just wanted to see if you’d prove it. Thanks. I can rest easy now in not needed to provide a cite. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160/102 "2006-03-29T03:35:46Z")
You know, there’s really nothing like a spray of warm shit to really get your day moving. I recommend you really load up on laxatives - something more like Citrucil than Ex-Lax - so that the speed of projection and texture keep it as warm as possible in the second before you hit your target. Plus, the fiber can act as an excellent exfoliant as your benefactee washes it off. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160/103 "2006-03-29T03:53:42Z")
You’ve been talking to **rayh**? Damnit! Little fucker can never keep a secret! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160/104 "2006-03-29T04:21:54Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > You’ve been talking to **rayh**? Damnit! Little fucker can never keep a secret! Keep a secret? Heck, he’s charging admission to screenings of the videotapes. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160/105 "2006-03-29T04:39:46Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Keep a secret? Heck, he’s charging admission to screenings of the videotapes. He made you pay? Sucka’. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160/106 "2006-03-29T04:46:01Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > You know, there’s really nothing like a spray of warm shit to really get your day moving. I recommend you really load up on laxatives - something more like Citrucil than Ex-Lax - so that the speed of projection and texture keep it as warm as possible in the second before you hit your target. Plus, the fiber can act as an excellent exfoliant as your benefactee washes it off. Strangely enough, the shower of warm shit disturbed me less than the word _benefactee_. Ugh! What’s up with _beneficiary_? ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160/107 "2006-03-29T12:13:45Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Strangely enough, the shower of warm shit disturbed me less than the word _benefactee_. > > Ugh! What’s up with _beneficiary_? What’s wrong with it is that I was really really tired and couldn’t think of the right word. Maybe a benefactee is a species of manatee with a strange pheromone that makes people want to give it things? Or, at least, shit on it… ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160/108 "2006-03-29T20:14:08Z")
Per the OP’s request I’m closing this, now that all of the relevant issues seem to have been hashed out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-feel-the-shit-ive-sprayed-on-them/350160.md?page=5)