# Everyone On Earth Will Want To See This Movie (Now With Added Snakes on a Plane!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 16, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992 "2006-06-16T21:01:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/21 "2006-06-16T22:50:08Z")
…and produced by Pixar. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/22 "2006-06-16T22:54:37Z")
20 posts- let’s sum up what we have so far: This will be a documentary about the life and death of Jesus Christ, based on the bestselling novel by Raymond Feist (yet to be written?). It is also a platform for Michael Moore and Paul Verhooven to attack each other’s politics. Screenplay by Joss Whedon, directed by Steven Spielberg, J.M.S. and Joss Whedon, and shot in the film noir style. It will feature Samuel L. Jackson (holding a sword), Ewan McGregor, Angelina Jolie, Geena Davis, Laura Linney, Jennifer O’Dell, Geena Davis and Bruce Campbell, all getting naked and having a variety of unusual sex scenes (including a controversial full-frontal bondage piece from Ewan McGregor) to a soundtrack by Nick Cave. Explosions by WETA. ---
**Author:** ![NailBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NailBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NailBunny)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/23 "2006-06-16T23:00:46Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Clam] 20 posts- let’s sum up what we have so far: …and Bruce Campbell, all getting naked and having a variety of unusual sex scenes…to a soundtrack by Nick Cave. [/QUOTE] Dude, I would _so_ see this movie. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/24 "2006-06-16T23:05:04Z")
[QUOTE=NailBunny] Dude, I would _so_ see this movie. 😃 [/QUOTE] That’s the idea, **NailBunny**! I’m gonna be _rich_! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/25 "2006-06-16T23:06:23Z")
You had me at “Ewan MacGregor”. Throw in a bondage scene? I’m _so_ there. I don’t think I need anything else. Except perhaps corsets. But not on Ewan. On the women. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/26 "2006-06-16T23:31:45Z")
[QUOTE=Noelq] There MUST be some explosions. And swords. There has to be swords. [/QUOTE] How about some exploding swords? ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/27 "2006-06-16T23:50:50Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Clam] and shot in the film noir style. [/QUOTE] Oh, with me NOIR isn’t so much about the shadows and light in the cinematography so much as a twisting, turning dark storyline about corruption and betrayal and danger, where a happy ending isn’t guaranteed or expected. But yeah, add all of your components and a plot that includes elements of the above, and you’ve got a real winner on your hands. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/28 "2006-06-17T00:02:32Z")
[QUOTE=Big Bad Voodoo Lou] Oh, with me NOIR isn’t so much about the shadows and light in the cinematography so much as a twisting, turning dark storyline about corruption and betrayal and danger, where a happy ending isn’t guaranteed or expected. But yeah, add all of your components and a plot that includes elements of the above, and you’ve got a real winner on your hands. [/QUOTE] A documentary about Jesus told from two conflicting radical political viewpoints? I think we can guarentee those factors. ---
**Author:** ![NailBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NailBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NailBunny)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/29 "2006-06-17T00:22:52Z")
I think we’re going to need some major disasters, too…hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, meteors, etc. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/30 "2006-06-17T00:53:51Z")
Look I’m sorry I’m just not getting this could you give me the logline? Say: An obsessive-compulsive messiah, a quirky swordsman, and a talented team of cheerleaders join together for a heist in a Broadway theatre during an earthquake. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/31 "2006-06-17T01:17:11Z")
So this is how test-marketing is done for movies. Actually, it explains a lot! ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/32 "2006-06-17T04:26:55Z")
[QUOTE=don’t ask] Look I’m sorry I’m just not getting this could you give me the logline? Say: An obsessive-compulsive messiah, a quirky swordsman, and a talented team of cheerleaders join together for a heist in a Broadway theatre during an earthquake. [/QUOTE] But one of them will eventually turn on all the others! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/33 "2006-06-17T04:46:02Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] You had me at “Ewan MacGregor”. Throw in a bondage scene? I’m _so_ there. I don’t think I need anything else. Except perhaps corsets. But not on Ewan. On the women. [/QUOTE] Well, I’m going to demand corsets, but they have to be covered in beautiful dresses from some time period prior to the 1940s. I don’t care if it’s Ewan McGregor in drag, so long as _the clothes come off_ at some point. And he has to have the surprised-with-quirky-smile look, not necessarily while naked. I think this movie could be made and, with my criteria, aired on _Masterpiece Theatre_ if produced by a British company. ---
**Author:** ![Rachael\_Rage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@Rachael\_Rage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachael_Rage)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/34 "2006-06-17T05:09:58Z")
You forgot **JThunder** ’s Pixar requirement. I second that, especially because so far I’m very much not interested in this film. But if Pixar is involved, I’d _have_ to see it. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/35 "2006-06-17T05:36:31Z")
Judas Iscariot doesn’t hang himself. He has a crisis of conscience, of course (which is written by Kevin Smith), and, when he realizes his sinfulness… (wait for it) (wait for it) he gets superkicked by the archangel Michael… played by Shawn Michaels. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/36 "2006-06-17T12:21:37Z")
And of course, Michael Keaton as Batman. If he’s prepared. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/37 "2006-06-17T17:25:39Z")
How about a space battle? There just aren’t enough space battles these days. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/38 "2006-06-17T17:58:44Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia] How about a space battle? There just aren’t enough space battles these days. [/QUOTE] But the space battle must have NO sound. And no banking. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/39 "2006-06-17T21:40:25Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Clam] 20 posts- let’s sum up what we have so far: This will be a documentary about the life and death of Jesus Christ, based on the bestselling novel by Raymond Feist (yet to be written?). It is also a platform for Michael Moore and Paul Verhooven to attack each other’s politics. Screenplay by Joss Whedon, directed by Steven Spielberg, J.M.S. and Joss Whedon, and shot in the film noir style. It will feature Samuel L. Jackson (holding a sword), Ewan McGregor, Angelina Jolie, Geena Davis, Laura Linney, Jennifer O’Dell, Geena Davis and Bruce Campbell, all getting naked and having a variety of unusual sex scenes (including a controversial full-frontal bondage piece from Ewan McGregor) to a soundtrack by Nick Cave. Explosions by WETA. [/QUOTE] I know I already requested Bruce Campbell, but is it too late to throw Dakota Fanning into the mix? And maybe a cute little Jack Russell terrier like the one on “Frasier”? Oh, and both Dakota and the doggie are playing angels? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2006, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/40 "2006-06-18T03:12:05Z")
At some point, we must have James Earl Jones and Alan Rickman. With plenty of dialogue for each. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992.md?page=3)