# Everyone On Earth Will Want To See This Movie (Now With Added Snakes on a Plane!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 16, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992 "2006-06-16T21:01:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/81 "2006-06-22T03:28:46Z")
Not bad. But I want Jessica Alba playing one of the cheerleaders. Preferably the naked one. And I want monkeys riding those cows in the final scene. And a Christopher Lee cameo playing God. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/82 "2006-06-22T04:34:02Z")
What? No Scarlett Johansson? OK. Scarlett Johansson. And I want David Mamet to write the dialogue. And the snakes are 13 foot Burmese pythons, and the plane is a [Dornier Do X](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dornier_Do_X). ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/83 "2006-06-22T10:34:43Z")
Now I am torn, I cannot decide who should play God: Senor Wencas or, my own addition to the Phenomanal Casting by Dopers: Morgan Freeman. Maybe they could be Co-God. Oh, and we need to fit in Mr. Darcy somewhere. The Colin Firth version, tyvm. and a role by Steve Buscemi, Billy Bob and Christopher Walken. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/84 "2006-06-22T10:40:13Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Now I am torn, I cannot decide who should play God: Senor Wencas or, my own addition to the Phenomanal Casting by Dopers: Morgan Freeman. Maybe they could be Co-God. [/QUOTE] One of them gets the Father and the other one is the Holy Ghost. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/85 "2006-06-22T11:19:28Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Now I am torn, I cannot decide who should play God: Senor Wencas or, my own addition to the Phenomanal Casting by Dopers: Morgan Freeman. Maybe they could be Co-God. Oh, and we need to fit in Mr. Darcy somewhere. The Colin Firth version, tyvm. and a role by Steve Buscemi, Billy Bob and Christopher Walken. [/QUOTE] Did you read the script? Chris Walken appears in the very first scene! Sheesh, some people. So, Mr. Darcy (presumably the one married to Bridget Jones) is on holiday in New York, and can join Batman, the Fantastic Four and the Simpsons in battling the alien vampire monkey ninjas in the third act. He may also fall into the Hudson with only his shirt on, if you like, at some point. So, we have Christopher Lee, Morgan Freeman and Senor Wencas all pencilled in to play God, a character voiced by James Earl Jones. Damn. Suggestions for resolving this problem? ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/86 "2006-06-22T12:15:08Z")
Gratutitous nudity. And explosions. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/87 "2006-06-22T12:33:20Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Clam] So, we have Christopher Lee, Morgan Freeman and Senor Wencas all pencilled in to play God, a character voiced by James Earl Jones. Damn. Suggestions for resolving this problem? [/QUOTE] I’m reasonable - Let Wences as “Johnny” be the Holy Spirit. S’alright? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/88 "2006-06-22T13:33:31Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Clam] Did you read the script? Chris Walken appears in the very first scene! Sheesh, some people. [/quote] No, sorry, I didn’t. I was busy doing three lines of coke before my weekly botox injects. 🙂 > [@](#): > > So, Mr. Darcy (presumably the one married to Bridget Jones) Sorta, the Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/89 "2006-06-22T15:45:04Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Sorta, the Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. [/QUOTE] Well, they are basically the same character… ok, now that we’re getting some serious high-level interest amongst the movie-making community (well, we got spotted, does that count?) I have to ask: is there anyone left who would _not_ see this movie? Anyone not attracted by lesbian cheerleaders and Ewan Mcregor/Chris Walken/Christian Bale? Anyone who doesn’t want to see Batman, the Fantastic Four, the Simpsons, Mr. Darcy and Samuel L. Jackson battling alien vampire zombie nazi monkey ninjas? ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/90 "2006-06-22T16:16:40Z")
What, no muppets? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/91 "2006-06-22T16:50:00Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Clam] I have to ask: is there anyone left who would _not_ see this movie? Anyone not attracted by lesbian cheerleaders and Ewan Mcregor/Chris Walken/Christian Bale? Anyone who doesn’t want to see Batman, the Fantastic Four, the Simpsons, Mr. Darcy and Samuel L. Jackson battling alien vampire zombie nazi monkey ninjas? [/QUOTE] Ehh, depends. Is it a Merchant-Ivory production? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/92 "2006-06-22T20:36:33Z")
[QUOTE=simster] What, no muppets? [/QUOTE] Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![Hreffe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85f322/32.png) [@Hreffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hreffe)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/93 "2006-06-22T21:23:59Z")
… So when does he wake up and realize that it was all just a dream? … ---
**Author:** ![Lazlo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lazlo/32/9678_2.png) [@Lazlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazlo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/94 "2006-06-22T22:48:46Z")
[QUOTE=simster] What, no muppets? [/QUOTE] I can see it now… The cranky codgers (can’t remember their names… or if I ever knew them) heckling Jesus as he’s fighting the Alien. Regardless, I am sooooooo there! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/95 "2006-06-22T23:12:13Z")
Cohen Bros. O brother where art thou Big Lebowsky Fargo Hudsucker Barton Fink Millers Crossing Raising Arizona They bring it and its a little offbeat. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/96 "2006-06-23T01:46:56Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Now I am torn, I cannot decide who should play God: Senor Wencas or, my own addition to the Phenomanal Casting by Dopers: Morgan Freeman. [/QUOTE] Bob Newhart. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/97 "2006-06-23T01:50:24Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Purl McKnittington] Or both of them and one of them can play Judas! Betrayal with a kiss, indeed. We can top that. [/QUOTE] I like, I like! Oh, and do we need any marketing tie-ins? Who should sing the main theme? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/98 "2006-06-23T12:15:25Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] I like, I like! Oh, and do we need any marketing tie-ins? Who should sing the main theme? [/QUOTE] We _do_ have Justin Timberlake pencilled in as Jesus’ evil clone… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/99 "2006-06-23T12:23:37Z")
[QUOTE=Lazlo] I can see it now… The cranky codgers (can’t remember their names… or if I ever knew them) heckling Jesus as he’s fighting the Alien. Regardless, I am sooooooo there! [/QUOTE] Statler and Waldorf! ---
**Author:** ![Lazlo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lazlo/32/9678_2.png) [@Lazlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazlo)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2006, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992/100 "2006-06-24T08:00:53Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Statler and Waldorf! [/QUOTE] That’s it! I remember Waldof now. So… When is this bad boy hitting pre-production? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-on-earth-will-want-to-see-this-movie-now-with-added-snakes-on-a-plane/360992.md?page=6)