# Everyone pay attention to Jack Batty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 13, 2001, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908 "2001-01-13T22:06:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/1 "2001-01-13T22:06:09Z")
Why? Just because. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/2 "2001-01-13T22:10:58Z")
Because he’s sexy? I think he is. hi Jack! ::waves:: I think you’re just great. Now can I put my clothes back on, Snoooopy? Please? ---
**Author:** ![slackergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@slackergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slackergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/3 "2001-01-13T22:19:22Z")
[Hi Jack!]Hello Mr. Batty[/Hi Jack!] ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/4 "2001-01-13T22:46:26Z")
Batty, there you go being an attention whore again. How’d you access **Snooooopy’s** password to post this? ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/5 "2001-01-13T22:51:38Z")
“Jack Batty”? Who’s that? 😕 Just kidding. Jack Batty’s great fun!😉 ::blows kiss:: ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/6 "2001-01-13T22:52:37Z")
**Snooooop** , yer the best. I swear **woody** , this was all **Snooooopy** ’s doing, I had nothing to do with it. [sub] **Snooooopy** , when I count to three you will no longer think you are a chicken. Instead you will sign that power of attorney form[/sub] Hi-ho everybody. :: kicking back and basking in attention :: However as mentioned at least once before, I am not, I repeat _not_, and **attention whore**. I have recieved no money for my shameless begging for attention, so I’ll thank you to refer to me as **Attention Slut**. Thank you, let the mindless adulation continue. Zoggie, you took your clothes off just for me?? Gosh. [sub]Gotta a pic link ;)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/7 "2001-01-13T23:07:03Z")
```auto Good morning Mister Batty: Recent technological developments by one of the superpowers have allowed for previously unknown levels of interaction between otherwise unfamiliar parties. Field reports now indicate that almost limitless amounts of attention are available through this new technology. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to suck up as much of this attention as possible in the most slut-like fashion imaginable. As always, should you or any of your associates be caught or smothered, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. ``` [sup] ::MAGNETIC TAPE RUNS OFF SPOOL AND BEGINS TO SMOKE::[/sup] [Cue MI Theme Music] ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/8 "2001-01-13T23:07:12Z")
Again? But didn’t we just pay attention to him **last** week? _sigh_ Ok, if you insist… but only cuz he says “waay oont waa” in that crazy Maine way. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/9 "2001-01-13T23:09:54Z")
God Damn… you really are an attention whore aren’t you. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/10 "2001-01-13T23:15:00Z")
Why, what’s he done for me lately? ::sticks fingers in ears and hums:: ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/11 "2001-01-13T23:30:13Z")
**Zenster** - come to think of it, you do look a little like Peter Graves. **Rasa** - if I don’t get my attention fix at least once a week, I turn awfully crabby. **oldscratch** - at least I’m up front about it. **magdalene** - what do you _want_ me to do for you? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/12 "2001-01-13T23:34:54Z")
Hmmmmm…what should I have you do for me? Rasa? oldscratch? Zenster (funny post, btw)? Help me think of something Mr. Batty can do in return for my attention. Jack, were you a bedwetter by any chance? An “even negative attention is better than none” child? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/13 "2001-01-13T23:40:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > \*\*Jack, were you a bedwetter by any chance? > \*\* Was I? Hell, I still do. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/14 "2001-01-13T23:46:15Z")
**magdalene** , sounds like he could use some plastic sheets… ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/15 "2001-01-13T23:49:54Z")
**Rasa** , right now I’m picturing Jack in some Huggies Pull-ups[sup]TM[/sup] - “Mommy, wow! I’m a big kid now!” ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/16 "2001-01-13T23:50:47Z")
**Mag** , send the boy some latex pajamas. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/17 "2001-01-13T23:52:17Z")
HAHAHAHAHA! Now I’m gonna see him at the SuperBowl party at Sue’s and picture him in diapers. Thanks a LOT, **magda**! Oh, sorry, I forgot–this thread is all about Jack. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Brunetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Brunetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brunetter)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/18 "2001-01-13T23:54:36Z")
Hi Jack Batty, hi hi hi hi hi hi hi! Hi! Hi hi hi hi hi hi. ATTENTION! (sorry, don’t know how to “virtually” pay attention to someone. Hope this works. It’s the thought that counts!) ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/19 "2001-01-13T23:56:07Z")
Pay attention to **Jack Batty**? Well, okay. _sits down and stares unblinkingly at **Jack Batty** _ ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/20 "2001-01-14T00:02:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\ ***Mag** , send the boy some latex pajamas. > \*\* Is that some kind of code for condoms? Because, Zenster, he’s a married man. Besides, this is about what Jack Batty can do for **me** in order to earn my attention (if not respect). I send him nothing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908.md?page=2)