# Everyone pay attention to Jack Batty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 13, 2001, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908 "2001-01-13T22:06:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/61 "2001-01-16T03:02:19Z")
:pulls up a chair: Now this is getting interesting. \>blows kisses(again even though the last ones were never caught or acknowledged} Give him an extra lash for me. I WILL NOT BE IGNORED EITHER. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/62 "2001-01-16T03:08:07Z")
C’mon **Jack** admit it, it was my hair that made you speechless. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/63 "2001-01-16T03:29:55Z")
System overload … can’t deal … **Bottle of Smoke** stealing my thoughts - **Zoggie** threatening me with a pick axe or sex, whichever comes first - **Zenster** hogtying me, ripping off his face, and whipping me with God knows what - **Snooooopy** egging him on and casting aspersions on my hands, **magdalene** winking me into a stupor - **The Mermaid** blowing kisses at me and apparently counting lashes - **Rasa** with her blonde hair, chanting “latex, whipping, kinky sex, latex, whipping, kinky sex” - All while Guido the Attention Pimp is shaking me down for his 60%. What? You think I can’t handle it? You think I’m about to crack? Ha! Narcissism is my middle name! I laugh in the face of modesty! And just to be a total asshole, I posted in the [Thread for people who don’t get mentioned in flirty threads!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=55619). ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/64 "2001-01-16T03:32:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > > Are you sure that he WOULDN’T like receiving a few lashes? You might just be playing into his sadomasochistic hands (if indeed he has sadomasochistic hands, of which I have no proof). > > Not everyone is as kinky as you, Snooooops. > > ::Winks conspiratorially at Jack Batty:: \*\* As anyone who went to Folsom St. with me knows, I see nothing wrong with allowing a cute mistress with a whip to have her way with my bare back. Did you ever see the pictures, **magdalene**? She disciplined me but good. I was a bad boy, you see. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/65 "2001-01-18T02:25:29Z")
I have to see this thread bumped up. You see, I am in need of some cheering up. In fact I am in dire need of being cheered up. Quite desperate in fact. I need a man like, **you** , Jack. Or if he’s not around, I’ll settle for Snoooopy. :o :p:):p:):p:) :):p:):p:)😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/66 "2001-01-18T05:26:27Z")
I was going to bitch about this thread not dying a dignified death, but now you got me feeling all guilty-like. I’ll do what I can (keeping in mind of course that my lovely wife will probably read this thread). 🙂 Seriously, this whole thread makes me blush like a schoolgirl. I have appreciated all the unwarrented attention (which I begged for) and this shameless flirting makes me feel ten years younger. And my wife is actually benefitting from it, because I feel so guilty flirting back, that she gets it in spades, if you see what I mean. But … Hey **Zog** , What’s the troubles? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/67 "2001-01-18T05:32:24Z")
Jack you little schoolgirl, you!! 😉 I can just imagine you, dolled up a la Britney…k, I’ll cease with the imaginings, shall I? See, the SD solves marital probs. My problems? Other than my pining away for you? Oh, stress mainly…midterms next week and Friday I have a lot of stuff due and…you know, the woes of being a student. I think i’m going to head off to sleep though. You’re not going to get much sleep though…you’ll be running through…alright too cheesy, I won’t finish. Oh what the hell. Through my dreams all night. :):):)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/68 "2001-01-18T05:34:57Z")
Christ, **Batty** , what’d you slip in _her_drink? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/69 "2001-01-18T05:43:25Z")
Clean livin’, **woody** my boy, clean living. ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/70 "2001-01-18T11:25:23Z")
**Jack** , oh no you di’in’t!, i know you just di’in’t call me no biotch! OOh see now you’ve gone and made me all mad, don’t think i won’t cut choo! \*pulls out switch blade"… ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/71 "2001-01-18T20:13:56Z")
::indignant:: In my drink?! Nothing is in my drink. Huh. Clean living my ass. ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/72 "2001-01-19T15:52:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > …I’d offer you a lapdance too, but I’ve promised one to others (namely **poohpah chalupa** ), and I best take care of those fine gentlemen first… ::checks watch, looks around, then stretches out in chair:: “Hi, **Audge**!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/73 "2001-01-20T02:14:53Z")
Ooh Jack, ya liked Titanic, did ja? Or so I am led to believe judging from the title of your newest thread. Course, i haven’t looked yet… ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/74 "2001-01-20T03:59:53Z")
Yes, I liked _Titanic_ very much, much to **Crunchy Frog** ’s dismay. However that thread is somewhat of a relic, having been archeologized by some one. P.S. - I just got a new, really crappy digital camera. As soon as I take a picture of myself that I like, and comes out good, I shall have my own People Pages page. Then you can possibly reconsider that crush of yours. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/75 "2001-01-22T06:21:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*Yes, I liked _Titanic_ very much, much to **Crunchy Frog** ’s dismay. However that thread is somewhat of a relic, having been archeologized by some one. > > P.S. - I just got a new, really crappy digital camera. As soon as I take a picture of myself that I like, and comes out good, I shall have my own People Pages page. Then you can possibly reconsider that crush of yours. \*\* Glad to see you’ve made the leap. I, too, have joined the People Pages after having been on the board for several months. Maybe if I get crazy, I’ll submit a flogging pic. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/76 "2001-01-22T15:46:14Z")
Yeah, I should have posted that pic that **Sue D.** took of my at the Omni-fest (what I refer to as the Fabio pose). But I lost it in an email shuffle. Instead, I got this $99 camera for signing up with Earthlink. It takes the absolute crappiest pictures in the history of photography, but it works in principle. So far I’ve taken about ten pictures of myself - ten of my dog - and few homeless people in my neighbor hood. The pic I posted of myself is the weirdest one I came up with, but Mrs. Batty said she liked it, so there it went. P.S. - this thread seems to have more legs than the Rockettes. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/77 "2001-01-24T01:21:02Z")
With the Super Bowl party coming up, all of us should be planning the ways in which we will be paying attention to Jack Batty at the party (God knows the game won’t need much of our attention). It could involve flogging. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/78 "2001-01-24T01:37:58Z")
Hmm. Well, I’d sit on his lap and flirt shamelessley with him, but his new pic makes him look deranged. I’m afraid to be in the same room as him! (Note: Jack doesn’t really resemble that pic, IIRC.) [sub]That and he’s married (Hi Mrs. Batty!) and oldscratch might not like that idea…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/79 "2001-01-24T06:35:56Z")
Rasa, how do you that every time you’ve seen me that _that’s_ not the way I really look. Huh? I gotcha there don’t I? No, I won’t be hosting any dance contests in my lap, but I will accept any chicken wing chucked it the general direction of my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/80 "2001-01-24T07:21:59Z")
Jack, dude. I have _no_ idea what that first sentence means… but after much pondering, I assume it means “How do you know I always look like that IRL?” Heehee… ok you win. I don’t. Warming up my chicken wing flingin’ arm as we speak… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908.md?page=5)