# Everyone pay attention to Jack Batty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 13, 2001, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908 "2001-01-13T22:06:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/81 "2001-01-24T07:31:53Z")
Rasa, that sentence might have made slightly more sense if I had stuck a “know” in between the “you” and the “that”. You see, I really work for the CIA and as such I have to go through a rigorous disguise process, and I have plastic surgery every two years to hide my identity. I had to post that “Jesus Christ/Cousin It/El Mysterioso” pic on the people pages merely for protection from the Iraqis. In fact, now that you know this, I’ll have to kill you. Or get a new disguise. I’ll let you know which one I decide upon. I think I need to go to bed now. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/82 "2001-01-24T07:35:55Z")
Well, if I don’t show up at the Dopefest on Sunday, you’ll all know Jack’s decision. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/83 "2001-01-25T20:19:40Z")
If you kill her, **Jack** , what are you going to do with her uterus? ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/84 "2001-01-25T20:25:14Z")
If you kill her, **Jack** , what are you going to do with her uterus? ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/85 "2001-01-25T20:37:06Z")
He’s going to love it and hug it and call it George, that’s what he’s gonna do. Swear to God. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/86 "2001-01-25T21:19:14Z")
Jack i’d love to see your picture. I’m lazy- does anyone have a link to the People’s Pages? BTW: Strange thing is, I was going to ask if you had a pic of yourself. As I want to know if you’re as sexy as I imagine you to be. I hope you’ll live up to my expectations. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/87 "2001-01-25T22:16:29Z")
In response to all: Mwuhahahhaahhahahhahhahahhahaaa!!! [me](http://www.geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/jack_batty.html) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/88 "2001-01-25T23:50:06Z")
Jack, would it be wise to tell you you remind me of Charles Manson? ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/89 "2001-01-26T02:55:25Z")
More like frickkin’ Rasputin! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/90 "2001-01-26T05:26:13Z")
Manson? Rasputin? Two things spring to mind … Every Charlie needs a Squeaky. and Did you know that it is a documented fact that Rasputin had a very large penis? I’m just saying… ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908/91 "2001-01-26T20:44:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*Did you know that it is a documented fact that Rasputin had a very large penis? > > I’m just saying… \*\* So, **Jack** , are you going to show us the Rasputin in your shorts on Sunday? We demand proof! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-pay-attention-to-jack-batty/49908.md?page=4)