# Everyone still here? Anyone been Raptured? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 21, 2011, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669 "2011-05-21T10:13:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/21 "2011-05-21T14:30:14Z")
Honestly, I’m surprised. I mean, I _did_ send a force up there, to kill God, but I didn’t think they would _succeed_. The whole thing was kind of rush job, really. I thought I had until 2012, but all the sudden, I hear the end is coming 2011! I only just finished the God killing weapon (forged in black hellfire, tempered by the blood of a corrupted pope, powered by black metal and red thunder) but I didn’t have enough soldiers and siege engines to make it past the gates of Heaven. Maybe they just tied Him up for a while. Hopefully I bought enough time time to build another God Slayer and rally a decent sized army… anyone know where I get some more orphan hearts? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/22 "2011-05-21T14:39:54Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Uh, people, it’s not till 6 PM Eastern time. > [@RickJay](#): > > It’s at 6 PM _in evry time zone_; it was supposed to start on the International Date Line and go from there, hitting every place in the world at 6 PM. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/23 "2011-05-21T14:45:35Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > So, we still all here? Anyone have family or friends that were Raptured? > > Sadly, I can’t even think of anyone to check with - all my friends are going to hell. … in the skin of course. ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/24 "2011-05-21T14:53:42Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Heavenly Internet, my friend. Rumors are that it’s available in Hell, too, but only dialup. The influx of 200 million new users has brought the celestial wireless LAN to a virtual standstill, though. Archangel Dave, responsible for tech support, is looking into it. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/25 "2011-05-21T15:01:45Z")
Still here, but what did you expect from the board’s resident Satanist? If I got raptured there’s something seriously wrong with the promotion material that God has been disseminating. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/26 "2011-05-21T15:30:56Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > I got raptured! Me too…and yet, I’m still connected to the same wifi network…puzzling. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/27 "2011-05-21T15:34:17Z")
I have not been raptured, but I can tell you who has been, and a few hours early by the look of it… The Parcelforce guy who was supposed to deliver a case of wines this morning. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/28 "2011-05-21T15:46:01Z")
Me! It’s not quite 9am yet here, but I got in early to avoid the rush. It’s a lovely day here in beautiful downtown Heaven. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/29 "2011-05-21T15:52:33Z")
_[The Family Circus](http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/9940/488yh.jpg)_ has the latest on this ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/30 "2011-05-21T15:58:52Z")
The bible actually says something to the effect that man will not know God’s plan so everytime someone sets a date for the end of the world God won’t start the apocalypse just to prove them wrong. So all we need to do is predict the Apocalypse for every day from now on. Frankly, I don’t think God’s paying that much attention to us anymore. I think He got tired of playing Sims and moved on to World of Warcraft or something. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/31 "2011-05-21T16:32:57Z")
… and now I’m back online. Yes, I got raptured- pretty annoying, actually, since I was sitting at my computer in just my boxers. After the initial embarrassment, though, it’s all worked out well. It turns out Heaven has a really kick-ass internet connection. St. Peter says most of the angels play Rift, but that some of the newly ascended souls play Left 4 Dead 2 in the afternoon. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/32 "2011-05-21T16:38:18Z")
It’s just me, but I personally won’t feel comfortable until I actually watch the minute hand sweep past 12 on the clock, at 6 p.m. tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/33 "2011-05-21T17:11:57Z")
Well this explains why me and my computer desk are both ascending on this pretty white fluffy cloud. . . Odd too, considering I’m atheist. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/34 "2011-05-21T17:56:30Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Uh, people, it’s not till 6 PM Eastern time. > > I’m meeting a friend at a popular restaurant then – we don’t expect to have to wait for a table. Wow, that’s going to make dinner tonight interesting. How am I supposed to explain to my grandparents why my parents suddenly disappeared? Especially considering Grandma is deaf… ---
**Author:** ![ramel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ramel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ramel)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/35 "2011-05-21T17:57:48Z")
I thought I’d been Raptured, but it turned out it was just gas. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/36 "2011-05-21T18:36:37Z")
I got raptured! (I got better, though) ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@LilyoftheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheField)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/37 "2011-05-21T19:12:26Z")
So…what are we saying here? If a bunch of people suddenly disappear today, we’re not even going to consider the possibility of alien abduction? I mean - what better time to get your quota of potential anal probees so to speak - in one fell swoop!!! :eek: Is this the end of conspiracy theories as we know them??? I’m troubled… ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/38 "2011-05-21T19:23:04Z")
Hopefully this isn’t region-locked, but here is how the highly regarded UK Channel 4 news ended tonight: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/U1ILGp3JGCQ/maxresdefault.jpg "The Rapture: is the end nigh for Krishnan Guru-Murthy?") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1ILGp3JGCQ) ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/39 "2011-05-21T20:00:11Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > Hopefully this isn’t region-locked, but here is how the highly regarded UK Channel 4 news ended tonight: > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1ILGp3JGCQ&feature=channel\_video\_title](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1ILGp3JGCQ&feature=channel_video_title) I can get it from here (here being Alberta, not Heaven), and that’s hilarious! ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/40 "2011-05-21T20:03:32Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Well this explains why me and my computer desk are both ascending on this pretty white fluffy cloud. . . Are you sure a gas main didn’t just explode? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669.md?page=3)