# Everyone still here? Anyone been Raptured? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 21, 2011, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669 "2011-05-21T10:13:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/41 "2011-05-21T20:05:07Z")
I’m west coast USA, so I have another 5 hours or so. Time enough to take a plane, fly west, and avoid the whole thing altogether, I’m thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/42 "2011-05-21T20:10:39Z")
My mom and dad ascended to heaven, and all I got was this lousy one-liner. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/43 "2011-05-21T21:14:28Z")
You mean god follows time zones. If it were me, I would use sun time. And either sunrise, sunset, or meridional passage. The idea that it follows time zones (which, needless to point out, didn’t exist in biblical times) is even more risible than the whole end of days heresy. Where I am, sunset is not for another three hours or so. I am holding my breath. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/44 "2011-05-21T21:45:46Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Well this explains why me and my computer desk are both ascending on this pretty white fluffy cloud. . . > > Odd too, considering I’m atheist. cloud computing gives you more power. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/45 "2011-05-21T21:52:06Z")
HEY YO YO YO, a’ight, a’ight! PEACE OUT Y’ALL!!!.. …Oh, ‘tured’; rapTURED… No, I ain’t down with that. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/46 "2011-05-21T21:56:09Z")
Well, the East Coast should disappear in 5 minutes. I’m turning on CNN, I want to see it live. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/47 "2011-05-21T21:57:55Z")
_It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I’m feeling fine_. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/48 "2011-05-21T22:00:14Z")
I spent the last five minutes wanking. Alright, more like 3 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/49 "2011-05-21T22:01:26Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Well, the East Coast should disappear in 5 minutes. I’m turning on CNN, I want to see it live. it’s only he rapture for the saved, the end will be 10/21/11 ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/50 "2011-05-21T22:10:02Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > You mean god follows time zones. If it were me, I would use sun time. And either sunrise, sunset, or meridional passage. The idea that it follows time zones (which, needless to point out, didn’t exist in biblical times) is even more risible than the whole end of days heresy. > > Where I am, sunset is not for another three hours or so. I am holding my breath. /total off-topic sidebar So where, in time, ARE you right now? Is this a projection? /total off-topic sidebar /new off-topic sidebar Has there been a thread with a Poster + Post = WTF/HAHAHA/I GET IT theme? It could be entertaining. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/51 "2011-05-21T22:26:19Z")
6:24 EDT and I’m still here, but one of my houseplants is missing. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/52 "2011-05-21T22:34:50Z")
minus 26 minutes LRT (local Rapture Time) and counting. ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/53 "2011-05-21T22:38:47Z")
Remember that they do not observe Daylight Saving Time in Heaven, as far as I know, so the Rapture may be delayed by one hour. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/54 "2011-05-21T22:38:56Z")
It could be that the number of Raptured is actually so small that it has happened and we just haven’t noticed. Lots of people go missing every day anyhow…so we will be lulled into complacency and the BANG!!! October will be here… According to a flow chart on Facebook the list of requirements is very stringent…even my minister can’t make the cut, having been divorced. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/55 "2011-05-21T22:42:11Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > So, we still all here? Anyone have family or friends that were Raptured? > > Sadly, I can’t even think of anyone to check with - all my friends are going to hell. I’m present and unaccounted for. > [@EvilTOJ](#): > > If anyone were raptured, how would they post to say so? Are you saying that NUMERO UNO is too backward for high-tech at home base? > [@Lightnin](#): > > I’m still here. I wonder how many people are going to be sur That is too clev > [@Wile\_E](#): > > The bible actually says something to the effect that man will not know God’s plan so everytime someone sets a date for the end of the world God won’t start the apocalypse just to prove them wrong. So all we need to do is predict the Apocalypse for every day from now on. Okay, put me down for each first Thursday of the month. > [@maggenpye](#): > > _It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I’m feeling fine_. I had just used that line at a group lunch this morning (Somewhere around 11:30 to 11:35 am, EDT, in case anyone is curious.). Great minds think alike! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/56 "2011-05-21T22:44:12Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > It could be that the number of Raptured is actually so small that it has happened and we just haven’t noticed. Lots of people go missing every day anyhow…so we will be lulled into complacency and the BANG!!! October will be here… According to a flow chart on Facebook the list of requirements is very stringent…even my minister can’t make the cut, having been divorced. As long as it’s after October 10th, cause I’m on vacation the week before that. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/57 "2011-05-21T22:54:26Z")
> [@Ximenean](#): > > Remember that they do not observe Daylight Saving Time in Heaven, as far as I know, so the Rapture may be delayed by one hour. As we all know, God and Jesus became American citizens, and their time zone is Eastern (the National Cathedral is in DC). If they don’t observe Daylight Saving Time, we have 8 minutes to go. Seriously, I wonder if the nutcase radio guy who bought all the billboards will kill himself and his family tonight. Damn, I wish I knew about this in December when I was making my Death Pool list. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/58 "2011-05-21T22:56:02Z")
If God and Jesus become american citizens, I want to see their birth certificates. Especially, God’s. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/59 "2011-05-21T23:00:24Z")
I didn’t say they were born in America. What would their birth certificates have to do with it? Though I confess to wanting to see Jesus’s school transcripts. Is it possible to consider omnipotence “cheating” on exams? ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/60 "2011-05-21T23:03:14Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > It could be that the number of Raptured is actually so small that it has happened and we just haven’t noticed. Lots of people go missing every day anyhow That is true. For the life of me I cannot locate my pet hamster. I guess Snowy was more devout than I had appreciated. I did wonder about that bible he was so fond of. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669.md?page=4)