# Everyone still here? Anyone been Raptured? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 21, 2011, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669 "2011-05-21T10:13:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/61 "2011-05-21T23:20:45Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I didn’t say they were born in America. What would their birth certificates have to do with it? > > Though I confess to wanting to see Jesus’s school transcripts. Is it possible to consider omnipotence “cheating” on exams? Ok, so where are they emigrating from? I want them to get the same hassles that Obama got from the birthers. And then I want the birthers smited. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/62 "2011-05-21T23:37:14Z")
I’m not sure, but I think that’s “smote”. “Smitten” certainly doesn’t sound right. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/63 "2011-05-22T00:11:07Z")
> [@Ximenean](#): > > Remember that they do not observe Daylight Saving Time in Heaven, as far as I know, so the Rapture may be delayed by one hour. > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > As we all know, God and Jesus became American citizens, and their time zone is Eastern (the National Cathedral is in DC). If they don’t observe Daylight Saving Time, we have 8 minutes to go. > > Seriously, I wonder if the nutcase radio guy who bought all the billboards will kill himself and his family tonight. Damn, I wish I knew about this in December when I was making my Death Pool list. > [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > If God and Jesus become american citizens, I want to see their birth certificates. > Especially, God’s. > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I didn’t say they were born in America. What would their birth certificates have to do with it? Soooo… while they would enjoy almost all of the benefits of American citizenship, they would be ineligible to run for President or V.P. Right? Kinda’ ironic. \*\*\* (Don’t ya’ think?)\*\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/64 "2011-05-22T00:17:17Z")
Oh, I think they could “convince” us to make an amendment to the constitution if they get tired of being super heroes and want to take over the whole enchilada. That would also allow Arnold to become Pres, which he clearly deserves because of his uber-potent sperm. ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/65 "2011-05-22T00:19:48Z")
I don’t think God would stand a chance, anyway. Not religious enough. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/66 "2011-05-22T00:47:55Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > Soooo… while they would enjoy almost all of the benefits of American citizenship, they would be ineligible to run for President or V.P. Right? > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Oh, I think they could “convince” us to make an amendment to the constitution if they get tired of being super heroes and want to take over the whole enchilada. > [@Ximenean](#): > > I don’t think God would stand a chance, anyway. Not religious enough. Well, there’s no doubt that that each of them would answer questions from the press in a way so as to make the fundies rather uncomfortable. I can hear it now: “Sorry, O Lord and Savior, but I feel that I must vote for a more _ **Christian** _ candidate than you.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/67 "2011-05-22T00:53:01Z")
FWIW, [The most active Volcano in Iceland](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43121772) started to erupt today, causing earthquakes. Also heard that there was a unexplained power outage at the Minn-St Paul airport today. Oh dear. 7:50 pm and all is well in my little spot in the midwest. I did hea ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/68 "2011-05-22T00:54:13Z")
I’m thinking of using ‘Didn’t rapture’ as a part of my vocabulary going forward. Rode my motorcycle on dirt today (V-twin, slick tires) and didn’t rapture! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/69 "2011-05-22T00:55:36Z")
West Coast in five minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/70 "2011-05-22T00:56:50Z")
Many small animals get raptored every day. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/71 "2011-05-22T01:08:00Z")
What a let down. All our neighbors are still here. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/72 "2011-05-22T01:08:36Z")
I’m not in heaven and I’m not floating upwards but I am naked, so I’m 1/3 of the way there. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/73 "2011-05-22T01:18:49Z")
Damn! About 5:30 local time, clouds began to go dark and it looked like rain. 5:45, the rain started and the wind kicked up. 6:00 the big limb on the tree just off my deck came down and a huge tree in the neighbor’s back yard (just across the fence from me) landed on their house. I was beginning to wonder if this nutcase might have been on to something. Naaaahhhhhh! 😛 The agnostic and the Druid in my apartment didn’t go anywhere, but I did check in on Miss Sarah downstairs, since I hadn’t seen her leave for church tonight. (She didn’t get raptured.) ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/74 "2011-05-22T02:30:58Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Many small animals get raptored every day. The really fast ones are velociraptored.. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/75 "2011-05-22T02:32:41Z")
Where’s Harold gone? He seems to be rather scarce right now. Think he’s gone camping? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/76 "2011-05-22T02:54:32Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > Well, there’s no doubt that that each of them would answer questions from the press in a way so as to make the fundies rather uncomfortable. > > I can hear it now: > > “Sorry, O Lord and Savior, but I feel that I must vote for a more _ **Christian** _ candidate than you.” > > 😛 No. See, God will run as an Old Testament President, and Jesus will run as the New Testament VP. All I can say is, woe be it to anyone who even _thinks_ about voting against them. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/77 "2011-05-22T03:22:05Z")
[Sloth gets taken up.](http://cuteoverload.com/2011/05/21/why-did-the-sloth-cross-the-road/#comments) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pandoranoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce73a5/32.png) [@Pandoranoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pandoranoid)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/78 "2011-05-22T05:50:33Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Where’s Harold gone? He seems to be rather scarce right now. Think he’s gone camping? Maybe he offed himself? I read somewhere that he made a ton off of this prediction–if that’s true, it may make suicide unlikely. But I can hope. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/79 "2011-05-22T05:55:45Z")
Still here. Never expected to be leaving in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669/80 "2011-05-22T07:23:40Z")
Maybe he meant a _different_ May 21, 2011? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/everyone-still-here-anyone-been-raptured/582669.md?page=5)