# Evil Bastard Me and telemarketer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 5, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104 "2013-03-05T18:13:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/21 "2013-03-05T22:02:00Z")
OK, I actually pulled this once: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvJQxgtJW94](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvJQxgtJW94) Honestly, it’s worth the listen. Completely awesome. I pranked the hecccckkkk out of a telemarketer once after receiving multiple calls from a credit card company (they were looking for someone who definitely wasn’t me, but didn’t seem to believe that I wasn’t said person). I had the telemarketer on the phone for about 5 minutes pulling the whole “You just called a murder scene” before I broke down and hung up. And this is coming from someone who worked as a telemarketer for years. It’s a horrid, horrid job, but in LA, it was one step up from giving handjobs for crack. Here’s an awesome 800 [notes.com](http://notes.com) thread about the place I worked. I represented William Shatner, for reals! [http://800notes.com/Phone.aspx/1-310-317-0070](http://800notes.com/Phone.aspx/1-310-317-0070) ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/22 "2013-03-05T22:22:14Z")
Wow, I get to be the one to post the definitive SDMB thread on this topic. All hail **Cervaise**! [The Telemarketer Speaks. I Respond](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=51270) **Telemarketer:** You do have a phone wich implies you WANT to be called. **Cervaise:** I have a butthole, too, but that doesn’t imply I want a running jigsaw inserted into it. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/23 "2013-03-05T22:24:25Z")
> [@FrankJBN](#): > > Essentially you are chewing on some poor minimum wage earner who doesn’t know you are on the do not call list. > > I mean, good for you, you feel better - and themn they go home and beat the kids because some \_\_\_head went off on them. Boo Hoo. Fuck em. I hope their kids report them to the cops. Fuck em. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/24 "2013-03-05T22:40:31Z")
When the mood strikes me, I’ll answer the phone and start speaking Spanish, or French. I know enough of both and it shuts the TMs up in a hurry. I’ve also asked them to speak up as I am “hard of hearing”; quite entertaining to hear them screaming themselves hoarse. (I had to work as a telemarketer when I was younger, and I can tell you that cold selling magazines and convincing pensioners to contribute to the University Alumni Fund is distressingly poisonous to your soul. My lowest moment came when I convinced a nun to contribute to the Alum Fund. It was $25. I quit the next day…) I understand if someone has to pay the bills, but I also have next to no sympathy for them if this is how they do it. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/25 "2013-03-05T22:47:36Z")
> [@FrankJBN](#): > > Essentially you are chewing on some poor minimum wage earner who doesn’t know you are on the do not call list. > > I mean, good for you, you feel better - and themn they go home and beat the kids because some \_\_\_head went off on them. Or it could go the other way. I go off on some poor minimum wage earner who doesn’t know I’m on the do not call list, he decides to quit his job, applies to college, attends one of the better Ivy League schools, but majors in the liberal arts and ends up working at Starbucks for the rest of his life. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/26 "2013-03-05T23:37:52Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > When the ones from [sub]not[/sub] “Microsoft” with a problem with my computer called recently, I scortched his ear for a while, then told him I didn’t and would never have a Microsoft product. He hung up, but he, so someone like him called the next day. > That day, I was very polite to him. After telling him, kindly, that I knew he was a scammer, I asked him how his mother would react to being cheated out of money or her identity. I continued to gently shame him and, suprisingly, he listened. > He finally apologized and hung up. > I haven’t had a call from them for weeks. From “Windows?” The last call I got from them was a guy with a thick Indian accent (and I know my Indian accents) who said his name was “John.” I let him have it, and haven’t gotten a call since. But I may try your approach next time. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/27 "2013-03-05T23:41:20Z")
> [@FrankJBN](#): > > Essentially you are chewing on some poor minimum wage earner who doesn’t know you are on the do not call list. > > I mean, good for you, you feel better - and themn they go home and beat the kids because some \_\_\_head went off on them. I never scream at someone trying to sell a legitimate product who listen to me when I say I don’t want to be called again. But many of the telemarketers in this thread are criminals or working for criminals. If they don’t know that they are too stupid to breath, so I think they do. They deserve no respect. Are you equally sympathetic to pushers and pimps? ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/28 "2013-03-06T00:07:40Z")
> [@FrankJBN](#): > > Essentially you are chewing on some poor minimum wage earner who doesn’t know you are on the do not call list. > > I mean, good for you, you feel better - and themn they go home and beat the kids because some \_\_\_head went off on them. Huh. Is that typically how you react? Because I would not have thought through that entire causal chain on my own. ---
**Author:** ![RememberMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@RememberMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RememberMe)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/29 "2013-03-06T02:40:51Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Yes, I picked up the phone and let them have it. In Wisconsin it’s illegal to call any phone on the do not call registry to sell stuff. We are on it and one company that gets fined and gets prosecuted again and again is the Credit Card Services bastards. Don’t fool yourself into thinking the CardServices people care whether you report them. They are not a legitimate business so you can report them all day long, they will never be fined. They are a scam, criminals. Card member services called me today. I thought I would waste their time, so I answered their questions. Once I told them that my cards were maxed out, they hung up on me. Maxed out cards means they can’t scam anything. No goodbye, thanks for your time, just a prompt hangup. I thought that now they thought I was useless to them, the calls would stop. 5 minutes later they called from another number. Me ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/30 "2013-03-06T03:10:28Z")
I think the next time a telemarketer calls, I’ll let them talk to Siri, that ought a frustrate them ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/31 "2013-03-06T03:27:17Z")
A personal favorite would be to pull up a Cleverbot or Eliza window, type what they are saying to you, then respond back with what the bot says in your own voice. ---
**Author:** ![HipGnosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/76d3ee/32.png) [@HipGnosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HipGnosis)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/32 "2013-03-06T14:26:47Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > I think the next time a telemarketer calls, I’ll let them talk to Siri, that ought a frustrate them But first, you should tell Siri to call you ‘Numb Nutz’. ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/33 "2013-03-06T20:20:02Z")
For my home phone I have a TeleZapper device that transmits a signal which means the line is disconnected. The idea is the automatic telephone dialers will quit calling that number. It seems to work especially on all the political calls during the last election. It is irritating as it makes the same tones whenever you answer or call a number. My phone company, Charter, allows us to block up to 12 phone numbers. That’s useful but a dozen isn’t enough and it doesn’t allow wildcards like blocking all 800 numbers. Caller ID of course. For my cell phone, I recently installed Call Control that blocks a few millions numbers plus allows you to report phone numbers. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/34 "2013-03-06T21:27:55Z")
> [@RememberMe](#): > > I thought that now they thought I was useless to them, the calls would stop. 5 minutes later they called from another number. See this is what I don’t get. How much return on their effort can they be getting at this point if they are calling the same numbers over and over again? ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/35 "2013-03-06T21:33:34Z")
> [@Baracus](#): > > See this is what I don’t get. How much return on their effort can they be getting at this point if they are calling the same numbers over and over again? They figure if they stop calling you there is no chance you’ll pay up. If they call you constantly at all hours (within whatever your limits are if they are playing by the rules) there is a small chance they’ll drive you sufficiently nuts that you’ll do anything to get them to stop. Presumably by experience they have determined the tradeoffs. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2013, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/36 "2013-03-07T01:03:04Z")
> [@FrankJBN](#): > > Essentially you are chewing on some poor minimum wage earner who doesn’t know you are on the do not call list. > > I mean, good for you, you feel better - and themn they go home and beat the kids because some \_\_\_head went off on them. :rolleyes: Oh my God, won’t somebody think of the telemarketer’s children! These people would steal the last dime from your grandmother and you feel sorry for them? If I can make one of these thieves quit and cost their criminal bosses money, then I’ve done good. Next time one of these crooks calls you, don’t be a \_\_head, give them what they want so they don’t beat their kids :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/37 "2013-03-07T01:19:54Z")
Don’t abuse telemarketers. They expect it, and it does nobody any good. If you really want to make them uncomfortable while doing some good in the world, demand the name of their company, the address of their company, the agent’s name, and their supervisor’s name. Tell them that you will be reporting their do-not-call violation, and that you will be reporting their abuse to your state’s attorney general. And follow up, of course. I assure you that company won’t call you back. There’s also a slim chance you might cost them some money and possibly even get them shut down (in your state, at least). Don’t abuse them. Hold them accountable. People are more afraid of that than of piddling complaints from people who answer their own phone calls. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2013, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/38 "2013-03-07T01:34:27Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > I need the OP to answer my door when the religious peddlers and shady roofing companies go door to door in our “No Soliciting” neighborhood. Oh, it’s a helluva lot more fun when they are there in person. I was at a friend’s house one Saturday morning when the Witnesses knocked on the door at frickin’ 0730 (we were going to pull a motor on one of his cars and were getting an early start). He answered the door, saw who it was and pretended that I was the one who owned the house. Suffice to say that he owned the house for eight more years and the Witnesses would cross the street rather than pass in front of it. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/39 "2013-03-07T01:38:05Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > Don’t abuse telemarketers. They expect it, and it does nobody any good. > > If you really want to make them uncomfortable while doing some good in the world, demand the name of their company, the address of their company, the agent’s name, and their supervisor’s name. Tell them that you will be reporting their do-not-call violation, and that you will be reporting their abuse to your state’s attorney general. And follow up, of course. If it’s Cardmember Services, you won’t get past, “I’d like the name of your–” before they hang up on you. Report them until you turn blue, it won’t do any good. They are operating outside the law and they know it. I haven’t received a non-Cardmember-Services telemarketing call for years now. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104/40 "2013-03-07T01:46:26Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > Don’t abuse telemarketers. They expect it, and it does nobody any good. > > If you really want to make them uncomfortable while doing some good in the world, demand the name of their company, the address of their company, the agent’s name, and their supervisor’s name. Tell them that you will be reporting their do-not-call violation, and that you will be reporting their abuse to your state’s attorney general. And follow up, of course. > > I assure you that company won’t call you back. There’s also a slim chance you might cost them some money and possibly even get them shut down (in your state, at least). > > Don’t abuse them. Hold them accountable. People are more afraid of that than of piddling complaints from people who answer their own phone calls. Here’s how that would play out: “What’s the name of your…CLICK” I’m not being offensive, but what you suggested is kind of silly. They know they’re breaking the law. They don’t care if you report them. They’re usually trying to rob you and have a spoofed number. These are not neighborhood companies trying to drum up business, these are organized con organizations who have been doing this for years. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evil-bastard-me-and-telemarketer/652104.md?page=3)