# Ew Ew EW! That's not a Cheeto!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2004, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984 "2004-12-21T15:49:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lady\_Venom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Lady\_Venom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Venom)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/1 "2004-12-21T15:49:28Z")
Urgh! I still have the willies! If you’re freaky about bugs and a little TMI, skip this thread! So last night Hubby wants a little action, and of course, he gets it. After, we’re doing the post-coital cuddle in bed, watching a little Leno and he’s munching on Cheetos. Around midnight we decide it’s bedtime, so I go downstairs to start the car to make sure it starts this morning (due to the cold), let it run 15 minutes, let the dog out, turn off all the lights, turn the car off, and go back upstairs. By this time, Hubby is alread asleep. I do my normal routine, bathroom and teeth, turn off the hall light and crawl into bed. I sleep with a body pillow. So after about 5 minutes of fussing to get comfy, I feel a pinch on my thigh. I ignore it for a second, and it happens again. I reach down and find what I think is a stray cheeto from the post-coital cuddle. It’s pitch dark and I’m holding what I think is a Cheeto. It feels a bit squishy. Hmm…I smell it…it doesn’t smell like a Cheeto. Weird. So, I put it on the bed side table to look at it in the morning. 5AM the alarm goes off. I get up to start the car, come back in and wake up Hubby. He gets ready and I take him to work. I got back here around 6:15 and decide to go back to bed. I crawl in and get comfy and remember the prickly cheeto from 12:24AM. I get back up, turn on the light, and look on the bedside table to see an INCH LONG BROWN NASTY INSECT :eek: still twitching!!! GAH!! WTF is THAT?!? So now I’m doing the Ookie dance in my jammies in the middle of my bedroom and my dog is looking at me like I grew and extra head. I still have a severe case of the willies. Just knowing I TOUCHED that that that THING!! How did it get there?! Was it a gift from one of my cats?! Thank Og I didn’t pop it into my mouth when I thought it was a Cheeto! ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/2 "2004-12-21T15:59:11Z")
I took a big sip of a glass of apple juice once, and realized there were three big-assed honking horseflies dead and floating on the top. :eek: I just got the same creepy-ookie vibe down my spine when I read your story. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/3 "2004-12-21T16:01:16Z")
> [@Lady Venom](#): > > How did it get there?! Probably hatched from the egg cluster inside the body pillow. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Venom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Lady\_Venom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Venom)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/4 "2004-12-21T16:03:11Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Probably hatched from the egg cluster inside the body pillow. > Daniel Oh don’t EVEN say that!! :eek: It wasn’t in my body pillow, it was on the bed, under me. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/5 "2004-12-21T16:05:29Z")
> [@Lady Venom](#): > > Oh don’t EVEN say that!! :eek: > > It wasn’t in my body pillow, it was on the bed, under me. Heh. Sorry about that. Probably a mattress infestation. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/6 "2004-12-21T16:10:00Z")
Either that or they are hatching somewhere in your body while your asleep. Sweet dreams! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/7 "2004-12-21T16:10:19Z")
This is why you shouldn’t allow food in the bedroom. Yeesh. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/8 "2004-12-21T16:17:33Z")
It’s possible that it erupted from your skin, which caused the initial pinch you felt. [sub]We’re not helping, are we?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/9 "2004-12-21T16:18:41Z")
> [@lisacurl](#): > > This is why you shouldn’t allow food in the bedroom. Yeesh. Maybe it’s a Canadian thing. My wife is Canadian and she’ll eat anywhere. I’m always finding crumbs in bed, on the sofa and in the car. It’s infuriating. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/10 "2004-12-21T16:29:38Z")
Thank god my cats only drag their feather toys into the bed. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/11 "2004-12-21T16:36:30Z")
It’s quite possible that there was a hive of them in the Cheeto’s packet, and that’s the only one you didn’t eat. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/12 "2004-12-21T16:38:47Z")
There are some threads you won’t even let yourself read the popup for, since you know they’re going to be good. This happens to be one of them. Although I also have to scold you - Cheetos? In the bed? Food is bad enough, but Cheetos make a huge mess. Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/13 "2004-12-21T16:40:25Z")
Get the Cheeto’s packet out of the bin, I think you are an instant prize winner. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/14 "2004-12-21T16:42:11Z")
Eew, you guys - eggs in the body pillow? infested mattresses? Have a little mercy, **Lady Venom** is probably squicked out enough already. It probably just fell down from the light fixture mount in the ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/15 "2004-12-21T16:45:50Z")
Was it an earwig? 'Cause earwigs can crawl in your ear, and lay their eggs in there, and when they hatch they crawl in deeper and _ **eat your brains!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/16 "2004-12-21T16:46:49Z")
Or maybe … No. That would be unthinkable… But maybe… Are you sure that… Mr. Venom is … human? Maybe it was one of his coital “critters.” ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Venom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Lady\_Venom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Venom)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/17 "2004-12-21T16:47:28Z")
I know, I know, food in the bedroom isn’t great, but it wasn’t ME it was Hubby! hehehe I’ll scold him on the behalf of the SD. And thank you Jenaroph! I was figuring something about the light too. _Ookie dance all over again_ When will this feeling go away?! ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/18 "2004-12-21T16:50:37Z")
I hope you’re happy with yourself, **Lady Venom**. You just killed one of the few remaining queens from a once proud society of brown squickbugs living in the Frito Lay cheetos factory. Feel better now, you genocidal nympomaniac? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/19 "2004-12-21T16:54:20Z")
It was probably microscopic and swelled up to the size of the cheetoh after sucking your blood. There’s probably thousands of them in the fibres of the sheets. Forget the bug for a minute. . .I’m trying to get rid of the image of pasty humping winterized Canadians with Jay Leno on in the background, and a ready-stash of Cheetohs on the nightstand. Next time you have a bug story, **Lady Venom** pretend to be young tanned Brazilians eating mangos in hammocks or something. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984/20 "2004-12-21T17:09:50Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > eating mangos in hammocks Bananahammocks? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ew-ew-ew-thats-not-a-cheeto/280984.md?page=2)