# Ewes sluts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 26, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145 "2001-08-26T02:21:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Craneop2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Craneop2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Craneop2)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/181 "2001-09-25T03:33:37Z")
OOPS meant to say mother… SORRY!! ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/182 "2001-09-25T04:02:20Z")
Scylla - I know what you need for a subtitle to this story. . . . . . . . . . . . All your baas belong to us. [fleeing] ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/183 "2001-09-25T17:40:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Women these days are under immense peer pressure to have sex with dirty little boys almost from the get go. > > It’s the curse of your corrupt and patriarchal society, that it steals the power of women by coercing them into giving away the very center of their superiority, their strength. They trade their chaste strength and power for the soft erotic persuasive roll, losing their rightful place at the forefront of events. Damnit man, she’s on to us. Light those torches! Brandish those pitchforks! ON TO OLYMPUS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/184 "2001-09-25T23:28:54Z")
> [@](#): > > **Women these days are under immense peer pressure to have sex with dirty little boys almost from the get go.** Dirty little boy checking in. Line forms to the left. No shoving, please. > [@](#): > > **Prepubescent teenagers are on a hormone induced rampage everywhere, upthrusting their immature genitalia at the first available phallus!"** … … … After much pondering, I think I’ll leave that one alone… … :: **Dijon** slinks off, still pondering:: … ::Ponder, ponder, ponder…:: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/185 "2001-09-26T02:07:47Z")
::::::::::AIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH:::::::::::::: I’ve been watching from the projection room and just dying to know what happens. In the mean time… Scylla wrote something that I didn’t bother to write down the entire passage: > [@](#): > > \*Sirens of the Lambs \* To which I ask, baaashfully, is it me or does this sound like like Jet Li saying the title of the movie Hannibal Lecter was in? ;D In closing, I leave with a joke: What did one shepard say to the other shepard? Let’s get the flock out of here. [sub]Thank ewe, Thank ewe, ewe’ve been a great audience! [/sub] Scylla, dammit, get baaaack here and finish this!!! :::::::::::::munching on free popcorn:::::::::::::::::: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/186 "2001-09-26T02:11:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Past the cow field, the heifers stared at me with prudish disaproval. It was as if they knew. \*\* Scylla, this should be your sig line. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/187 "2001-09-26T02:23:24Z")
In light of recent events, **Scylla** , I have to ask you: Are you now, or have you ever been, a follower of Is-lamb? ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/188 "2001-09-26T03:20:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **Shirley Ujest:** > > Scylla wrote something that I didn’t bother to write down the entire passage: > > > [@](#): > > > > Sirens of the Lambs > > To which I ask, baaashfully, is it me or does this sound like like Jet Li saying the title of the movie Hannibal Lecter was in? ;D \* No, no…that would be Sirens of the _Rams_… (God-awful puns, references to underage sex…could **Scylla** actually be Piers Anthony? Makes ya think, don’ it?) ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/189 "2001-09-26T03:40:20Z")
I should note that I felt certain that comparing their two bodies of literary output would make it clear that I had to be joking…just in case **Scylla** wants to clobber me for the perceived slandering of his good name, there…:eek: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/190 "2001-09-26T08:54:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dijon Warlock \* > \*\*I should note that I felt certain that comparing their two bodies of literary output would make it clear that I had to be joking…just in case **Scylla** wants to clobber me for the perceived slandering of his good name, there…:eek: 😉 \*\* I know **I** was shocked. I mean, sex with livestock, machinery and hillbillies is one thing, but being _Piers Anthony_?!?!? Oh the _shame_ of it! ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/191 "2001-09-26T10:06:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Scylla \* > [B"It’s the sex! It makes you mortaals crazy!_\* eh, is Athena part ewe? _ducks and runs, but not fast enough to avoid thunderbolt from above_ _ **ZZZZAAAAAPPPPPPPP!!!** _ YEEEEEEEEEOWCH! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/192 "2001-10-01T18:56:07Z")
::::::::::bump:::::::::::::: [tapping foot patiently, shoving more popcorn in her mouth} Dangnabit, I have to take a whiz… What do ewe want to bet that I’ll miss the next instaaaaalment while in the baaaaathroom? ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/193 "2001-10-03T16:44:21Z")
Please, sir, can I have some more? ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/194 "2001-10-04T09:36:59Z")
[fake british accent] Wooooot did yew siye?! [/fake british accent] ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/195 "2001-10-04T16:14:16Z")
Please sir, can I have some more, please, I’m still hungry… [pulls threadbare, woolen sweater closer to her frail person and looks up at Scylla with luminous, doleful eyes…] ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/196 "2001-10-05T09:19:36Z")
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww… isn’t she cute? 😃 ow, ow, OW! i get it, i get it! _ducks under **Velvet** ’s whaps_ yeesh… ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/197 "2001-10-05T18:16:33Z")
Cougarfang! get your bloody head our from under my sweater! Sheesh, a girl can’t even flirt with Scylla anymore. Hell, how else do you think we’re gonna get him to finish the story? It’s not like asking nicely is working, I just thought that maybe I could appeal to his overdeveloped baser side… Maybe I’ll just knit him something warm and sheepish instead. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/198 "2001-10-07T00:13:49Z")
Um…_shuffle-shuffle_…can, um…I, like, you know, put _my_ head under your sweater…? Just while we’re waiting, is all I’m saying… ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/199 "2001-10-07T04:41:59Z")
Bump bump bump bump bump! ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/200 "2001-10-07T05:35:05Z")
Oh, great! Just ruddy great! Now I’ve got a real mouldy oldie running through my head! Ewwwwwwwwwwe send me ! Darling Ewwwwwe send me Ewwwwwwwe send me ! Honest ewe do, honest ewe do, honest ewe do! Thanks HEAPS!! (or is that SHEEPS!?) I probably shouldn’t be here— (finds seat miraculesly empty, brushs off strange grey powder, and sits down) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145.md?page=11)