# Ewes sluts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 26, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145 "2001-08-26T02:21:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/41 "2001-08-28T19:20:16Z")
Stop being so Baaaaaaaaashful, and tell us what happened! You baaaastard. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/42 "2001-08-28T19:24:42Z")
… and afterwards, outrage transformed to passion and then to post-coital tristesse, she asked him: “Well, how was it for you, anyway?” “Not ba-a-a-a-ad.” ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/43 "2001-08-28T19:33:09Z")
What started as an innocent, casual glance quickly became a passionate stare. At that moment, **Scylla** and **Baaaaaabs** both knew their lives were about to change forever. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/44 "2001-08-28T19:47:25Z")
Money shot! **MONEY SHOT!!!** 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/45 "2001-08-28T21:36:10Z")
I bet he stops just in time, and apologizes…sheepishly ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/46 "2001-08-29T00:12:09Z")
You know how you get a song stuck in your head? Well, I have a picture stuck in mine. A picture of a freshly shaved sheep, looking coyly over her shoulder at a lustful **Scylla**. And the only thing that will make it go away is **the rest of the damn story**. [sub]whimper[/sub] PS - **rjung,** you aren’t helping. Now I need a big pail of Clorox to soak my brain. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/47 "2001-08-29T00:23:07Z")
Taking into account the intense popularity of the “serial thread,” I’ve decided to take full advantage of it. Popcorn! 20 dollars! Getcher Popcorn here! ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/48 "2001-08-29T01:34:27Z")
Like a deranged piledriver I plunged forward with all my strength heedless of my wife’s outraged cry… …Which I then joined with an outraged cry of my own. “AAAAAHHHHHHHHOOOOOOWWWWWW!” I screamed as I thrust forward only to find that an obstacle was blocking the gates of paradise. With such force did I slam into my wife’s undergarment (skimpy but chaste,) that even in it’s fully tumescent state my member was forcibly bent at a right angle. “Aiiiiiiieeeeeeee!” I screamed again, then [sub]“owwwww,”[/sub] I moaned breathlessly grasping my injured extremitsy, and falling bonelessly to the side. “And just what did you think you were doing, right then? Ram? Oh you rammed all right. You stretched out my panties, and **look** at my nightgo…” I fell off the bed and retreated before her wrath, attempting to ooze out of the room. Suddenly I was sober and myself again. “Sorry Hon, g’night” I managed to get out through clenched teeth. I remained sore and chastised for three days. No longer did the ewe’s siren call affect me. No longer did it drive me to violate the sanctity of my upcoming marriage. I even stopped drinking. I had hoped I was cured and the stange episode past. On the fourth day I found that with the straightening of my member all the old lusts came rushing back. I needed help. But, who could I go to, a stranger in this town? What if word got out about this abberation? What would happen to my social standing? What if it got my back to my fiancee? Would she stand by me or call the wedding off? Oddly, the answer came to me, and I knew what to do, who to see. First though, I needed to get my courage up. I poured several stiff ones int the hopes that it would offset the other stiff one that had taken control of my life, and when my fiancee went to sleep I snuck out of the house, a man on a mission. My destination was clear. ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/49 "2001-08-29T01:39:23Z")
**Jester** , I’ll take two popcorns. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/50 "2001-08-29T01:43:23Z")
> [@](#): > > I fell off the bed and retreated before her wrath, attempting to ooze out of the room. Suddenly I was sober and myself again. I’ll bet ewe sheepishly baaaaacked out! Nothing like curling your rams horn, shorn’nuf. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/51 "2001-08-29T01:43:42Z")
Remember when paying the “lady” not to get fleeced. This is too easy, the sheep shots just keep coming. Uh could I have extra butter on my popcorn. Thanks. deb ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/52 "2001-08-29T01:46:03Z")
Alrighty, two popcorns for the little lady! And another one with butter! And **Scylla** , didn’t you start an entire thread about how you never had to worry about bending your…errrrr… lil’ shepard? ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/53 "2001-08-29T01:47:58Z")
Scylla…Ewe are a sick, sick, SICK man. Ewe need psychological help. Baaaaaaaaaaaaadly. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/54 "2001-08-29T01:55:22Z")
I’ll take a popcorn! How much are the soda’s? Hell with it, just give me one… Anybody wanna share a large popcorn!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/55 "2001-08-29T01:57:55Z")
Soda’s? 40 dollars. Oh, and popcorn’s up to 50. What? You mean to tell me you didn’t expect to get fleeced? ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f1d935/32.png) [@Lady\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/56 "2001-08-29T02:00:36Z")
I’ll share with you Whammo, but I like a lot of butter on mine. I came here late. Will he? Won’t he? The suspense is killing me! This is better than any of the movies that have been out lately. DRG ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/57 "2001-08-29T02:00:40Z")
YOU’RE A CON!!! You can’t pull the wool over MY eyes! [sub]…but i’ll still takes the soda and popcorn… lousy nogoodnick…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/58 "2001-08-29T02:03:11Z")
Heh heh. God bless the ewe-conomy. ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/59 "2001-08-29T02:04:12Z")
::steps across several people in their seats to reach an empty spot:: Sorry, sorry, whoop! Sorry. Just getting to that open spot What 40 bucks? ::grumble grumble fumble for money:: Glad I pocketed some Blatz before I left home. God, I hope the snooper at work doesn’t pick up THIS thread or the sheep won’t be the only one getting . . . “SHHHHH!!!” [sub]Sorry. Sorry. Where we at now? The good part? Carry on Scylla. First Elmo and now this. God this is good.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145/60 "2001-08-29T05:40:40Z")
**opens door and scuttles in like a commando before tripping over someone’s purse and spilling contraband popcorn all over the floor.** Whoops! \*_Sildling up to a random attractive woman in the audience._ Is this seat taken? Your husband is in the bathroom, oh I see. **Trying to retain his dignity, and failing** So, have I missed anything? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewes-sluts/78145.md?page=4)