# Ewwwww... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188 "2003-07-31T18:18:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/1 "2003-07-31T18:18:56Z")
I just went to the bathroom and the toilet seat had residual butt warmth. My day is shot. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/2 "2003-07-31T18:23:05Z")
I hope you’re not home alone! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/3 "2003-07-31T18:27:29Z")
I’m at work. It could have been any one of 2500 butts that warmed that seat. And Zeldar, thanks for freaking me out. I’ll be checking for butt warmth at home now. The horror… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/4 "2003-07-31T18:30:59Z")
Ahhh… so it was incubating the chick. ---
**Author:** ![hilltopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@hilltopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hilltopper)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/5 "2003-07-31T18:31:35Z")
Maybe a bad thing in July in Shangrala, but its a good thing in say South Dakota in February. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/6 "2003-07-31T18:57:29Z")
Lieu, this woman must have camped out for a while. It was VERY warm. It was a big, warm, porceline egg. ---
**Author:** ![WillGolfForFood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/82dd89/32.png) [@WillGolfForFood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WillGolfForFood)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/7 "2003-07-31T19:11:55Z")
It’s when the seat is ice-cold that you should start to worry, because that’s a sign that it was last used by one of the undead… ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/8 "2003-07-31T19:13:11Z")
“big, warm porceline egg” You’re right…ewwww. I don’t like a warm seat, either. At least, not one that’s been warmed by a stranger’s stinky ass! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/9 "2003-07-31T19:15:52Z")
Also, the toilet paper was torn unevenly. She didn’t follow the perforated line. The edge was askew. Not good. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/10 "2003-07-31T19:18:01Z")
Gee, when I hear “incubation” and “big egg” and “toilet seats” I think insects and spiders. Enjoy your next trip to the toilet… _snicker_ ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/11 "2003-07-31T19:25:21Z")
Well, be thankful that you can be certain it wasn’t **lieu**! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/12 "2003-07-31T19:33:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > \*\*Also, the toilet paper was torn unevenly. She didn’t follow the perforated line. The edge was askew. Not good. \*\* What… like she’d chewed through it? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/13 "2003-07-31T19:36:01Z")
Sorry to scare you, **Kalhoun**. I realized after hitting “submit” that it was much more likely you were not at home. Having had virtually no experience in the distaff crappers, but based on stories I’ve heard from cow-orkers who have, you should be thankful it was only warmth you had to contend with. I hear the gals where I worked would stand on the seat or hover above it, making no special effort to keep the seat dry. I was trained as a little kid to tear off enough paper to cover each side of the seat. Anytime I’m in a strange head I do that. Even if it’s supposedly tended to by a careful staff. Even then though, sometimes that warmth works its way through and provides all the evidence I need that “we are not alone.” ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/14 "2003-07-31T19:40:31Z")
This is one reason women “squat” and not sit! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/15 "2003-07-31T19:46:35Z")
Obviously the other end of the paper is still stuck to her butthole and likely only broke off when she stood and pulled her pants up. Gah, when she gets home tonite and disrobes for the shower she’s gonna have a Charmin tail chasing her and giving her a bad case of _Isadora Duncan Anus_. Hopefully there’s no stationary bicycle in the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/16 "2003-07-31T19:47:43Z")
Thank goodness I’m a man 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ThatDuckIsEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@ThatDuckIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThatDuckIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/17 "2003-07-31T19:51:47Z")
::Wiping spewed soda from monitor:: Aces, lieu! ---
**Author:** ![LauraLittlePony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LauraLittlePony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LauraLittlePony)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/18 "2003-07-31T19:54:02Z")
The problem with squatting is that you tend to splatter. If you squat, please wipe afterwards! You know what I hate? When I walk out of a stall, and the person coming in walks right into the stall I just left–and there are tons of other stalls available! Why MINE?? And don’t get me started on when people take the stall directly next to you. Especially when all the others are open and you’re on the END! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/19 "2003-07-31T19:57:18Z")
Happiness is a warm bum. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188/20 "2003-07-31T20:36:09Z")
A Charmin tail. I am quite literally laughing OUT LOUD right now. I hope no one here at work minds. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ewwwww/192188.md?page=2)