# Ex-Lax brownies illegal? Prunes too slow? Have some gummy bears! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939 "2013-12-22T06:01:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/1 "2013-12-22T06:01:04Z")
Stash some of these in your lunch bag if you expect it to be stolen. [Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears](http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC) The customer reviews are pure comedy gold. Or is comedy brown? > [@](#): > > **Just don’t. Unless it’s a gift for someone you hate.** > > Oh man…words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear “Cleanse”. If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN! > > First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety…I was a happy camper. > > BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I’ve ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I’ve had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me. > > Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell…the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn’t stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors. > > But wait; there’s more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible. > > AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS. You would soon know who was pilfering the office fridge. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/2 "2013-12-22T13:51:51Z")
Sounds like a crappy situation. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/3 "2013-12-22T14:01:36Z")
Quite a shitstorm. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/4 "2013-12-22T15:21:22Z")
On the page it says: _Item Under Review While this item is available from other marketplace sellers on this page, it is not currently offered by [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) because customers have told us there may be something wrong with our inventory of the item, the way we are shipping it, or the way it’s described here. (Thanks for the tip!) We’re working to fix the problem as quickly as possible._ I wonder if it’s because of the, um, “shitty” customer reviews. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/5 "2013-12-22T15:26:41Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > On the page it says: > > _Item Under Review > While this item is available from other marketplace sellers on this page, it is not currently offered by [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) because customers have told us there may be something wrong with our inventory of the item, the way we are shipping it, or the way it’s described here. (Thanks for the tip!) > We’re working to fix the problem as quickly as possible._ > > I wonder if it’s because of the, um, “shitty” customer reviews. How about “Customer’s ‘shitty’ reviews”. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/6 "2013-12-22T15:46:01Z")
Didn’t we already have this thread? Are Ex-Lax brownies really illegal? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/7 "2013-12-22T16:51:07Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Didn’t we already have this thread? > > Are Ex-Lax brownies really illegal? 😕 I believe it is if you do it knowing full well that someone is going to steal them (especially out of a community area) and get sick. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/8 "2013-12-22T17:32:49Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Didn’t we already have this thread? > > Are Ex-Lax brownies really illegal? 😕 Yeah, turns out poisoning people is against the law. Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/9 "2013-12-22T17:36:08Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Didn’t we already have this thread? > > Are Ex-Lax brownies really illegal? 😕 I think the final conclusion is that it depends on where you are. And the company you work for can have their own policies on that type of situation. But the gummy bears haven’t been altered and aren’t being presented as anything other than what they are. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/10 "2013-12-22T17:40:34Z")
And of course, YMMV. Those srsly impacted or having sluggish systems may not notice the effect at all (the very ones who need it imho). ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/11 "2013-12-22T18:39:42Z")
IIRC, the packaging actually says that they give you the runs if you eat more than two bears at a go. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/12 "2013-12-22T19:04:17Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Yeah, turns out poisoning people is against the law. Who knew? Damn this nanny-state! ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/13 "2013-12-22T19:52:25Z")
People who steal Ex-lax brownies “poison” themselves. So who cares? ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/14 "2013-12-22T20:43:56Z")
Squooshy baby bear says most sugarless candies provide a moving experience. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/15 "2013-12-22T22:25:04Z")
I ate half a bag of sugar free “Jots” once (the Brachs version of M&M’s). Usually I can eat anything but the sweetener they use in those is like Olestra or something. Jeebus Kripes! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/16 "2013-12-23T02:56:24Z")
I don’t think that there’s going to be a run on this item. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/17 "2013-12-23T05:17:08Z")
Those things are the real deal; once I got a bunch of sugar free gummy bears from the bulk candy section at a local grocery before watching movies with my wife (girlfriend at the time), only to be afflicted with the most urgent and horrible liquid diarrhea the following day. I chalked it up to some sketchy ingredients from her sketchy fridge, and took some Imodium and was fine. Next time I got the sugar free gummy bears, the same exact thing happened, except that we’d eaten out. I figured it was something I ate again, until the third time, and I put it together and haven’t got many more of them. FYI… it’s worse than Olestra. It’s more like the anti-Imodium. Violent, huge, totally liquid diarrheas that cause other people to flee restaurant bathrooms due to the horrid sounds and smells. No cramps or flaming anus discomfort that I recall though. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/18 "2013-12-23T16:54:29Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Stash some of these in your lunch bag if you expect it to be stolen. [Where were you two weeks ago?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=709787) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/19 "2013-12-23T17:00:26Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > People who steal Ex-lax brownies “poison” themselves. So who cares? People who break into houses protected by spring guns “kill” themselves. But they’re still illegal - because it might not be an evildoer that enters the house, and it just as easily might not be an office thief that takes one of your brownies. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939/20 "2013-12-23T17:49:16Z")
I’ve spent _years_ trying to explain to people that I DO NOT want any of their sugar-free soda or treats because I can’t afford to spend the rest of my day in the restroom. “Oh, but it tastes just like the regular version!” they say. Maybe, but the sugared version won’t leave you with the all - day squits after two bites. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-lax-brownies-illegal-prunes-too-slow-have-some-gummy-bears/676939.md?page=2)