# Ex-phone sex operator, redux **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424 "2008-04-22T17:43:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/1 "2008-04-22T17:43:33Z")
OK, [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=286032&page=1&pp=50) is an old thread I did called “Ask the ex-phone sex operator”. In it, someone suggested I should maybe contact a literary agent. Well, I haven’t done that. But I seriously, for real, _have_ started writing a book on the subject. With that in mind, if you were to think about buying such a book, what topics would you hope to see addressed? Would you want it to be _really_ down n’ dirty, or more ‘classy’? I’ve even thought of doing two versions of it, one mainstream (well, like, PG-13), one that would probably have to be Adults Only (or, to stick with movie rating terminology, NR). I’ve re-read the old thread, and got some ideas of stuff I want to address, but I need input here. Do you think I should maybe consider doing it in a Q&A format? Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/2 "2008-04-22T18:02:48Z")
I would not want to read a “serious”, single-topic book that was in a Q & A format. For that matter, I’m not sure I’d want to read a “serious” book about someone’s life as a phone sex operator, so I may not be your target audience. (Incidentally, I think I read your thread at the time, but not recently). But what would make me interested? A cheerful, chatty, tone. Probably at least mildly witty, but not into the “trying too hard” levels of comedy. I’d want to believe that you were an ordinary person who chose the phone sex business because it seemed like an easy way to earn money–and would want reassurance that the phone sex business does not prey excessively on those who have been sexually abused. I’d want reasonable but not excessive detail about the demographics of phone sex operators and clients, practical details, how your privacy was maintained, stuff like that. And funny stories. If it isn’t lighthearted, it doesn’t appeal to me. There are, of course, people out there who like reading stories of the downtrodden, so if you’d rather market yourself to them, go for it. But that’s my gut instinct. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/3 "2008-04-22T18:13:29Z")
Well I just read the first thread and I liked it a lot. The development of your relationship with the one guy would be great for a book. One question that wasn’t asked but I’m wondering is; was there ever an idea presented to you by a customer that you ‘adopted’ into your own real sex life? ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/4 "2008-04-22T18:14:04Z")
Immediately go buy \*\*Candy Girl \*\*by Diablo Cody. It chronicles her transition from alterna-temp to stripper. She had started a blog about her adventures in the skin trade, was approached to write the book, wrote the screenplay to Juno and won a freakin’ Oscar for it. The inevitable Diablo Cody backlash has set in from there… But if you read Candy Girl, it is really good - there is both a real interest and enthusiasm for truly engaging in the sex trade - she wanted to try stripping and such, and really get into it. At the same time, she maintained an observer’s perspective, watch what was going on and offer running commentary to us inexperienced types. Couple that with a good writing style and a lot of humour and you have a hit. You can also see how she addresses actual sexual things. Doesn’t shy away from them, but doesn’t try to get you hot n’ bothered either… ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/5 "2008-04-22T18:16:16Z")
A slight hijack, but I was recently pointed to an interesting blog by someone who is currently a phone sex operator: [Whore on Hold](http://whoreonhold.com/). ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/6 "2008-04-22T19:00:16Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > One question that wasn’t asked but I’m wondering is; was there ever an idea presented to you by a customer that you ‘adopted’ into your own real sex life? Not really, but in some sense, my gig with the phone sex did foster a kind of closeness with my husband. I would notice repeat topics, which would lead me to ask my hubby “Is it really common for guys to feel this way?” or “What would a guy typically think about such-and-such”. Having that kind of open access to the male psyche was really helpful. I think in some ways, I was as much shrink as sex surrogate. **WordMan** and **Billdo** , thanks for the advice! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/7 "2008-04-22T21:35:29Z")
You might also want to check out [Belle du Jour](http://www.amazon.com/Belle-Jour-Diary-Unlikely-Call/dp/0446694509/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208899943&sr=8-2), if you haven’t already. She’s an excellent writer and manages to strike a balance between chick lit wit and dirty details. Now, it may not produce the best work… but if you really want to get it published, use Sex and the City and Cosmo as your guides. Dirty stuff, but phrased politely. And lots of talk about using your paycheque to buy cute outfits. (I would love to read about what you were really wearing when asked ‘What are you wearing?’ by guys). ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/8 "2008-04-22T22:09:33Z")
> [@Cat Fight](#): > > (I would love to read about what you were really wearing when asked ‘What are you wearing?’ by guys). The book will _definitely_ address that! 😉 Just FTR, though, in the warm weather it was either a night shirt or a cotton night gown, and in the cold weather, sweats. Of course, that’s not what I told _them_. . . ---
**Author:** ![The\_Them](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Them](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Them)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/9 "2008-04-23T08:56:57Z")
_Mayflower Madame_ by Sidney Biddle-Barrows is actually more about the business end of prostitution, but could be a decent guide to the overall _style_ of writing about the sex trade. It’s a neat, informative, well-written book! Ms. Barrows _did_ have a ghostwriter help her. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/10 "2008-04-23T10:01:22Z")
You might want to read the Hardest Working Man in Show Business by Ron Jeremy. He tries to strike a balance between wit, telling it like it is, funny stories, setting the record straight, etc on the porn film biz. It could have been funnier but overall not a bad attempt. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/11 "2008-04-23T11:18:13Z")
**The Them** and **China Guy** , I will definitely have to keep an eye open for those books. Sounds like they might be helpful. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/12 "2008-04-23T22:07:25Z")
I’ve never been much of a fan of non-fiction or autobiography type books, but I would come closer to finishing something with anecdotal stories and humerour references. Just a random thought, get **Sampiro** to ghost write it for you. It was one of his postings that brought me here to begin with. And then I had to read all of them. Then I was hooked and had to subscribe. 😛 I’ll wander over and read the original thread when I have more time. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex-phone-sex-operator-redux/446424/13 "2008-04-24T11:23:41Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Just a random thought, get Sampiro to ghost write it for you. Sigh. If only I thought he would do it! Unfortunately, the dulcet tones of my voice only seem to be able to convince _straight_ guys to do what I want! 😉