# Exactly one dozen Dopers can obtain eternal youth. Convince us that you should be one. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285 "2010-07-19T22:30:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/1 "2010-07-19T22:30:32Z")
By means that are, frankly, none of your goddamn business (but which I freely admit involve the phrases _Burroughs-Libby continua buggy_, _doomed city of Atlantis_, _looting_, and _murdering Poseidon_), I have come into possession of a certain exotic potion which causes anyone who takes it to stop aging. No, smart-ass, it doesn’t kill you. Potions like _that_ are hardly exotic; you can get the ingredients for \*killing \*potions from Walgreens, for gossake. And it doesn’t make you immortal anyone, on account of there not being any invulnerability included. What it WILL do is return your physical state to the moment, as an adult, you were strongest and healthiest, and thereafter prevent time, infection, and genetic weaknesses (but not bullets, fire, or jumping off skyscrapers) from harming you thereafter. Anyway, for reasons that are also none of your business, but which have nothing to do with conquering the Earth or gaining title to anybody’s soul, I am willing to share this potion with twelve of you. No more than twelve, and also no LESS than twelve. It’s a dozen or nothing. Make your case for getting a dose. I’m terribly lazy, so I’ll also need y’all to critique one another. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/2 "2010-07-19T22:33:52Z")
Well. I DO have this very large gun, and I know how to use it. … Maybe you would give me the potion in exchange for this nice gun and a couple of lessons at the shooting range? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/3 "2010-07-19T22:41:43Z")
Even an immortal will need some maintenance and repair. Who else would you trust to do it besides me? I could also discuss JRRT lore with you during your visit. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/4 "2010-07-19T22:46:25Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Even an immortal will need some maintenance and repair. Who else would you trust to do it besides me? Surely you realize I kept the eternal youth PLUS invulnerablity potion for myself. That is only logical. That said… > [@](#): > > I could also discuss JRRT lore with you during your visit. 😃 Yeah, you had me at Quenya. Eleven doses left! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/5 "2010-07-20T00:08:08Z")
I’m not your pet, you’re not my master and I’m not going to jump through hoops for you. I’ve been around this board long enough for anyone who cares to determine whether I’m deserving of such a gesture or not. As Keith Richards supposedly said when offered a knighthood, “I get on my knees for no one”. . . . . . . . . . Hey, reverse psychology. It might work. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/6 "2010-07-20T00:10:52Z")
I’m ambitious, convinced that I can do great good for the world, and yet strangely amoral. Imagine the entertaining (for you) mischief that I could get up to, with all eternity to work in. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/7 "2010-07-20T00:34:21Z")
If you choose me, you get to see artworks that are barely twinklings in my eye come to their full fruition. You get to see stories, paintings, movies, and artforms yet unborn. You get to see a revolution of ecological design. You get to see me inspire people the world over (under multiple identities because I’ve read _Time Enough for Love_ too). So… whadda ya say? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/8 "2010-07-20T00:42:12Z")
I’m one of the first twelve posters. Might as well do it on a “first come-first serve” basis. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/9 "2010-07-20T00:48:56Z")
You need balance. Certainly you can’t have a dozen immortals running around in the primes of their lives and not have someone that doesn’t love Tolkien, Firefly, and hasn’t heard of any of these sci-fi authors your ilk bandies on about. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/10 "2010-07-20T00:53:04Z")
I’ll need eternal youth to go with my eternal childishness. Whaddya say **Skaldzilla**? You don’t want to leave Sleepah out, do ya? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/11 "2010-07-20T01:01:41Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > You need balance. Thanks for the vote, LOUNE. If you’re also into the classic fantasy and SF you mentioned, I hope Skald gives you a dose, too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/12 "2010-07-20T02:10:30Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > Thanks for the vote, LOUNE. If you’re also into the classic fantasy and SF you mentioned, I hope Skald gives you a dose, too. > > 🙂 Nonononono. I’m NOT into that fantasy nonsense. However if you get in, then surely I should get in because of the referral, no? ---
**Author:** ![Manwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Manwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manwich)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/13 "2010-07-20T02:31:16Z")
I won’t do anything special but I won’t get bored. Who cares you say? You know how this type of thing always turns out. The immortal end up going crazy and trying to enslave the world, or get all emotional and end up killing themselves anyway. Waste of a potion. Not me! I am never bored and I’m forgetful. So I figure I can cycle through hobbies and entertainment for eternity. I won’t get all emotional about my loved ones growing old and dying before me either. Sure, it will be hard to see all my family die, but it won’t be that bad because \*I’ll \*still be alive and that is what is important. On the romance side, no problems either. I’ll bang a succession of women my age and get a new on every few years (as you can see, I am a real catch). Also, I won’t make endless amounts of art of music or try too hard in any one field. What if I suck? It would just be an immortal shit machine. So there is no danger of an immortal Dan Brown, Thomas Kincaid or Uwe Boll. Sign me up. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/14 "2010-07-20T02:41:25Z")
I’m a musician. Music embiggens the soul. Also, if you grant me this boon, I will write a LOTR opera. The fact that I’ve never written an opera should be no object, since I’ll have unlimited time to practice. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/15 "2010-07-20T02:59:33Z")
I’m easy to get along with. You’re going to need an easy-going guy that’s willing to tolerate your…errmm…eccentricities when you’ve got all of eternity stretching out ahead of you. Plus I’m not ambitious - no struggles to be top dog with me. I’m be perfectly content with a little eternal youth, but without being an annoying little suck-ass about it. I’ll politely disagree with your insane idea to release truckloads of irradiated [flying anime squirrels](http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_koenh1qpws1qzn8r6o1_500.jpg) in Gabon and thoughtfully explain just why it is a poorly thought out plan. But if you insist, well, hey - maybe you know something I don’t and everything is worth a try at least once. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/16 "2010-07-20T03:11:23Z")
Give me a dose, otherwise when I die I shall haunt you unto the end of your days. Ooga booga, bitch! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/17 "2010-07-20T03:21:44Z")
Youth was wasted on me once and… Oh hell, it would be wasted on me again. Nevermind! ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/18 "2010-07-20T03:24:59Z")
I don’t deserve it. Give it to RR. Surely you’ll need someone to bounce ideas off of, and the dude is certainly unrelenting. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/19 "2010-07-20T03:42:08Z")
I’m a professional illustrator and the best RPG GM you’re ever likely to meet. Give me (and my wife) the potion, and I will run amazing and intricately plotted tabletop roleplyaing games for you, in addition to making awesome action portraits of your characters until the sun goes red giant. My wife also posts here, but trust me, the character portraits and RPGing are enough justify two potions. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/20 "2010-07-20T04:09:09Z")
I am a fertile young male. 'Nuff said, hopefully. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285.md?page=2)