# Exactly one dozen Dopers can obtain eternal youth. Convince us that you should be one. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285 "2010-07-19T22:30:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/21 "2010-07-20T04:16:27Z")
Pass. Unless you also offer a dose for my wife. I have no desire to remain young while she ages and departs for realms unknown, leaving me to taste nothing but ashes in her absence. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/22 "2010-07-20T16:13:58Z")
I’ve ably demonstrated my remarkable capacity for slacking over the course of the past half-century, and believe that I should be allowed to continue as an exemplar of the slacker lifestyle from now until the heat death of the Universe. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/23 "2010-07-20T19:01:18Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > I’ll need eternal youth to go with my eternal childishness. Whaddya say **Skaldzilla**? You don’t want to leave Sleepah out, do ya? Sleeps is in for [del]shallow[/del] obvious reasons. 10 doses! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/24 "2010-07-20T19:02:21Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Youth was wasted on me once and… Oh hell, it would be wasted on me again. Nevermind! You’re in for the poems. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/25 "2010-07-20T20:41:35Z")
Wait, what am I thinking? Asking for a dose… how silly! I’ll just steal one. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/26 "2010-07-20T20:46:37Z")
Skald, dude, c’mon. You’re going to be living for eternity. You’re going to need someone who will indulge your theoretical situations – and I’m for that, no matter how… theoretical they may be. Also, I love reading and learning, and if someones going to be living indefinitely, it makes sense for them to have as wide a knowledge base as possible. I also carry with me a unique perspective on just about everything, which when coupled with the (currently few) fields of knowledge I have experience in, often results in unexpected results… some of the time even positive. I pledge that for all eternity, I’ll continue to study and learn, investing my time and efforts into developing new technologies by combining otherwise unconnected fields of study. Also, I’m awesome. Pick me, or I’ll find you, and you might be invulnerable, but how much would you enjoy spending the rest of eternity in a cast iron box, sunk to the bottom of the ocean? ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/27 "2010-07-20T20:48:28Z")
Well I still think I’m young and in the prime of my life so it would be awesome if my body would think so too. There are a million plans for hammering idiots with the Mallet of Understanding™ that I just don’t have time for now that I would love to complete. Also you’ve simply got to stop discriminating against Canadians. Really, we’re swell. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/28 "2010-07-20T21:05:30Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > Well I still think I’m young and in the prime of my life so it would be awesome if my body would think so too. There are a million plans for hammering idiots with the Mallet of Understanding™ that I just don’t have time for now that I would love to complete. Also you’ve simply got to stop discriminating against Canadians. Really, we’re swell. The No-Canadians-in-Hell thing is Mephistopheles’ decision, not mine. Besides, how are you injured by NOT being eligible for eternal damnation? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/29 "2010-07-20T21:32:01Z")
You’re always offering these great things, perfect cookies, eternal youth, some other thing I can’t remember, yet I have never received anything from you nor I have spoken with anyone who has received one of these things from you. I am starting to doubt that you even have these things. In fact, I think you may even be sort of evil for constantly dangling these enticing things before us when you have no intention of fulfilling your end of the bargain. So I am protesting by refusing to play along with your shenanigans. Good day to you, sir! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/30 "2010-07-20T21:51:58Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > You’re always offering these great things, perfect cookies, eternal youth, some other thing I can’t remember, yet I have never received anything from you nor I have spoken with anyone who has received one of these things from you. I am starting to doubt that you even have these things. In fact, I think you may even be sort of evil for constantly dangling these enticing things before us when you have no intention of fulfilling your end of the bargain. So I am protesting by refusing to play along with your shenanigans. Good day to you, sir! This is NOTHING like the soul-purchase thread. It is, however, EXACTLY like the perfect cookie thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/31 "2010-07-20T22:20:10Z")
My offer for cast iron accommodations has been revoked, upon realization that cast iron rusts, and I cannot, in good conscious, offer such poor incentive. I will fill a large object with molten stainless steel, drop you in it, let it cool, and then drop the stainless steel object into the bottom of the Marianas trench. Alternatively, if I’m granted your potion, I’ll offer you protection from me doing this to you. Being invulnerable seems to be your weakness, skald. I will exploit this, if necessary, and doom you to a fate worse than death. _No, you may not steal my supervillian hat!_ ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/32 "2010-07-20T22:31:59Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Sleeps is in for [del]shallow[/del] obvious reasons. 10 doses! YaYYYY! Thanks **Skaldzilla**!! ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/33 "2010-07-20T23:16:56Z")
Does simple laziness count? I can wind time myself, obviously, but it’s a lot of work and time that I’d rather devote to my scholarly work on the greater Bee and Flying Monkey Bearing Deities of the early 21st century. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/34 "2010-07-21T02:28:30Z")
Skald, just wanted to point out that if you use my first come first serve rule, you could stop reading posts and be done by now. You’ve got eternity ahead of you, kick back and take it easy. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/35 "2010-07-21T03:06:26Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > This is NOTHING like the soul-purchase thread. > > It is, however, EXACTLY like the perfect cookie thread. > > 😃 And I never got one of those, which is exactly my point! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/36 "2010-07-21T03:12:25Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > And I never got one of those, which is exactly my point! Seems to be his as well. Sorry, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/37 "2010-07-21T14:41:35Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > And I never got one of those, which is exactly my point! :: checks inventory :: You have a lice of perfect cheesecake if you want. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/38 "2010-07-21T14:51:24Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > :: checks inventory :: > > You have a lice of perfect cheesecake if you want. How perfect can it be if it’s got lice on it? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/39 "2010-07-21T14:52:30Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > How perfect can it be if it’s got lice on it? _Slice_. Rhymers are known for their typos. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285/40 "2010-07-21T14:57:59Z")
Logic dictates that it should be me and the eleven hottest unmarried female Dopers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exactly-one-dozen-dopers-can-obtain-eternal-youth-convince-us-that-you-should-be-one/547285.md?page=1)