# Examples of telepathy between married folks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 22, 2009, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918 "2009-02-22T04:51:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tirial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@tirial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tirial)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/21 "2009-02-23T10:10:24Z")
I think ours would be phone calls - I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been in the middle of calling my husband when my phone has gone because he has called me, or vice versa. I think it’s just because you get to know someone well. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/22 "2009-02-23T12:12:36Z")
> [@Telperien](#): > > Would it have satisfied the nitpickers if the OP had put telepathy in quotes? “No” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/23 "2009-02-23T12:13:21Z")
> [@tirial](#): > > I think ours would be phone calls - I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been in the middle of calling my husband when my phone has gone because he has called me, or vice versa. > > I think it’s just because you get to know someone well. Happens to us all the time, even if we haven’t spoken all day. It’s even weirder when you both go to voicemail due to calling each other simulataneously. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/24 "2009-02-23T16:04:23Z")
> [@Mrs.Cake](#): > > Yup - together almost 20 years. Our brains sort of sync up from time to time after long years of shared thoughts and experiences. Would probably sound like telepathy to an outsider. Well, DUH, you ARE **Mrs. Cake**! To not have it happen, you’d have to turn off your precognition!:D:cool: I also can’t think of any examples, but we finish each others’ thoughts all the time, and often communicate with only the sketchiest words and phrases. It’s only natural–we’ve been together 16 years! ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/25 "2009-02-23T16:42:49Z")
Compared to the weird stuff that happens between my twin sister and me, my husband and I aren’t so spooky this way. But, I can cite a recent example. He and I went to dinner on Valentine’s Day. Because we neglected to make reservations we ended up at a very new Italian restaurant. It was so new that we feared it might end up badly because we could see the owner really over-supervising the staff. It was fine though. Anyway, whenever we go out to dinner, no matter where, my husband always does this adorable thing where he acts shocked by the bill. So, the bill comes, my husband is about to open it and we see the nervous owner. I turned to my husband, about to say “Don’t do the thing”. I didn’t actually say it but he did tell me, “I know. It might freak the guy out.” He thought we had a similar incident at our son’s Little League game when I told him to pee in the bushes seemingly out of nowhere, but I swear he mentioned he had to go. ---
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/26 "2009-02-23T17:44:11Z")
> [@Lady\_Venom](#): > > …If I’m at work and he calls me and says how about x for supper, its usually what I am thinking of… Bog and I do this, too. All the time. I’ll be sitting in the office thinking, “Man, we haven’t had x in a while. I should tell Bog that when I get home.” And when I arrive home, it’s on the table. It happens with things that are common to us as well as uncommon. ---
**Author:** ![schnuckiputzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@schnuckiputzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnuckiputzi)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/27 "2009-02-23T18:15:17Z")
Hubby & I have been married 20 years, and we do this all the time, especially finishing each other’s sentences and knowing what is meant by “that thingie for the other thingie”. We tune in on each other’s wavelength. It’s a survival technique to combat our children. Now my mom and I have what we call radar: crazy old people radar. Anytime we’re in a public place, some loony old person will come up and start sharing teh crazy with us. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/28 "2009-02-23T18:20:47Z")
> [@SiXSwordS](#): > > On the other hand, the use of the word _Telepathy_ in the title does suggest a quasi-psychic quality to that communication and it seems fair to challenge that notion. Oh, for God’s sake, you can only write so much in the title and I wanted a way to explain what I was talking about. I think most married and long-term relationship folks know what I’m referring to. Not that you can suddenly start sensing other people’s thoughts, but a non verbal form of communication can develop. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/29 "2009-02-23T18:25:25Z")
This happens to us all the time. Together 10 years, married 8. Me: “So, have you thought about–” [what to have for dinner?] Him: “No. We could do–” [the leftover turkey from the turkey that I roasted two days ago] Me: “Um…” [I am sick of turkey, plus you are probably going to make it into turkey-vegetable soup, which I dislike.] Him: “Yeah. I know. Quesadillas?” [which will incorporate turkey] Me: “Please.” [I know about the turkey-dillas and do not care. Quesas are acceptable to me.] ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/30 "2009-02-23T18:33:22Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Oh, for God’s sake, you can only write so much in the title and I wanted a way to explain what I was talking about. I think most married and long-term relationship folks know what I’m referring to. Not that you can suddenly start sensing other people’s thoughts, but a non verbal form of communication can develop. May I just say that I sympathize with the problem of having a thread title say just exactly what a paragraph or longer in an OP can say. I’d guess that well over half of the threads I have started have had inadequate titles. A fair number of the OP’s I’ve put up have been confusing, too, and after a few posts have come in sometimes I have to clarify what I was intending and in some cases even retract the title. In other cases, especially if the flow of the posts goes well away from what I had hoped the thread would be about but still wind up being fun conversation, I just let the whole issue of the title’s meaning go by the wayside. In this case, I didn’t even consider that what I have going with my wife has anything to do with telepathy. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/31 "2009-02-23T18:54:12Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Oh, for God’s sake, Yesterday, it was **Boyo Jim** who was thought to have woken on the wrong side of the bed. I woke in _not_ my bed today and wonder if I may still be less grouchy than you are. Nontheless, I’m sorry. I have a better feel for the nature of the thread now and I’ll not poo-poo your woo-woo. > [@](#): > > I think most married and long-term relationship folks know what I’m referring to. Anomalous cognition no doubt. > [@](#): > > Not that you can suddenly start sensing other people’s thoughts, but a non verbal form of communication can develop. Yes it can, and it is more than a simple, pleasant side effect of being together for a long time. In looking for a study similar to what **Olives** mentioned, I found a study that mentioned “The Four Horseman” of a marriage in trouble: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness and withdrawal; all of which would seem to be counteracted by the types of communication listed in the above anecdotes. And they’re cute stories too! Like little Arial kittens. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/32 "2009-02-23T18:58:55Z")
Yes, fairly often. We have a lot of conversations like this - Her: Did you, ah… Me: Yes. Thursday. Her: But, the, ah… Me: Not until after. Her: Should I… Me: No, I can. Which translates to “did you call to schedule the appointment with the financial services advisor that I mentioned on Monday? Yes, and I scheduled it for Thursday night. Won’t that conflict with the meeting we have at church? No, i scheduled it for after that. Should I mention that we have another appointment at the start of the meeting? No, I can do that.” And one of my favorite conversations happened this morning - Me: What time will you be home on Tuesday? Her: Okay. 😉 Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![samm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@samm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samm)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/33 "2009-02-23T19:24:30Z")
We’ve only been married 6 months, but have been together over four years. This seems to happen to us all the time too. Last week I had just made a huge lasagna on Sunday night and it was apparent that we would be eating leftover lasagna on Monday night, but when I got home I said I was feeling more like mexican food instead. Hubby said, “I just bought burritos and enchilada sauce today.” I don’t know why he bought it, he doesn’t usually just buy stuff for a random meal, we usually grocery shop together, but we made that for dinner Monday instead. Also, we watch a million movies and I am horrible about remembering any of the titles. He always guesses right when I describe, “that movie with the roller coaster” or “that funny one with that one guy from SNL” “the Korean horror movie with all the colors.” And half the time I will even totally describe the movie wrong and he still gets it right. “What was the one dark horse movie starring Keanu Reeves?” “You mean Sleepy Hollow with Johnny Depp?” Yes! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/34 "2009-02-23T21:49:47Z")
I read somewhere that people in long-term relationships actually do start using parts of their brain less - one member of the couple takes care of appointments, so the other member doesn’t think about them at all any longer, that kind of thing. This is probably related - you’ve had the same conversations, about the same things, with the same priorities, and had the same shared experiences so long that your couple shorthand is unrecognizable to the outside. **iftheresaway** , I do the same thing with my sister, too. Just last night she was talking about some star at Obama’s inauguration, and she called him, “That rock guy who cut his hair.” My first guess was Jon Bon Jovi, and that was who she meant. I wish my husband would do this - he isn’t anywhere near as good at figuring things out from vague, slight clues. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/35 "2009-02-23T22:03:51Z")
> [@SiXSwordS](#): > > Yesterday, it was **Boyo Jim** who was thought to have woken on the wrong side of the bed. > > I woke in _not_ my bed today and wonder if I may still be less grouchy than you are. > > Nontheless, I’m sorry. I have a better feel for the nature of the thread now and I’ll not poo-poo your woo-woo. > > Anomalous cognition no doubt. > > Yes it can, and it is more than a simple, pleasant side effect of being together for a long time. > > In looking for a study similar to what **Olives** mentioned, I found a study that mentioned “The Four Horseman” of a marriage in trouble: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness and withdrawal; all of which would seem to be counteracted by the types of communication listed in the above anecdotes. > > And they’re cute stories too! Like little Arial kittens. Okay, peace then. I hope you get back to your own bed soon!🙂 You know what’s fun? When we play Taboo. It’s a game where you’re given a word, and you have to describe it and get your partner to guess the word without using any of the six “key” words listed underneath. So, the word might be Chewbacca, but you can’t describe him using “Star Wars, Hans Solo, Luke Skywatcher, Wookie,” etc. I’m usually pretty good at this with Ivylad, because I can use our experiences as a married couple to give him tips. So, if the word was “yellow,” instead of trying to figure out how to describe the color without using “sun” or “butter,” I just said, "This was the same of (ivynephew’s) dog. He got it in one. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/36 "2009-02-23T23:08:48Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Okay, peace then. I knew you were going to say that. 😉 > [@](#): > > So, the word might be Chewbacca, but you can’t describe him using “Star Wars, Hans Solo, Luke Skywatcher, Wookie,” etc. …defense… ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/37 "2009-02-24T00:42:29Z")
We were playing team Trivial Pursuit or some knock-off thereof, and a question came up about an actor whose name I can never remember. I started off with, “oh, you know, he was that guy, in that one movie…” and before I could get to the part about how he had the Bulldog mascot, DH pops off with, “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.” ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/38 "2009-02-24T00:53:33Z")
We use house rules of not allowing married couples to be teams in Taboo, for that very reason, **ivylass**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cuberdon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/45deac/32.png) [@cuberdon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuberdon)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/39 "2009-02-24T00:54:20Z")
The current BF, no. A past BF, yes. I’d know what he was going to say and the wording he was going to use, then he’d open his mouth and there it was. Happened a bunch of times. I don’t believe in telepathy but man, that was weird. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918/40 "2009-02-24T00:59:34Z")
Husband and I have been together for 5 years, married for 3, and we’ve always been on the same thought wavelength. Me (out-of-the-blue): “You know that guy, in that movie…” Him: “Billy Bob Thornton.” Me: “Yep, that’s him. Just couldn’t remember his name. I saw another movie with him in it today, blah blah…” or, Him (out-of-the-blue): “That guy you used to work with–” (which narrows the field down to about 300 people) Me: “Jimmy.” Him: “Yeah, I saw him at the grocery store today.” That band, that singer, that person, that restaurant, whatever, we just seem to think alike. Quite scary, if you know my husband! It’s been like this since we first met, too. And it’s not visual cues, because it happens over the phone, quite often. I joke that we share a brain, and trade off who gets to use it each day. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/examples-of-telepathy-between-married-folks/486918.md?page=3)