# Exasperated man buys everyone in Burger King an apple pie to teach boy throwing a tantrum a lesson. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267 "2014-08-10T21:21:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/81 "2014-08-11T22:47:49Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > It warms MY heart. Most of my opinions are unpopular, so it’s nice for me to see that at least a lot of people agree that this kind of parent/child combo should get no pie! Them … and, presumably, everyone else _after_ them that wanted pie. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/82 "2014-08-12T00:38:21Z")
Spite has collateral damage, but sometimes it’s still worth it. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/83 "2014-08-12T05:28:52Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Like I said this isn’t rocket surgery. > Some people know how to parent. Others don’t. > [@Rick](#): > > The positive side is some people that actually, you know tried to raise good kids agree with me. Yeah, everyone else are complete fools, right? The people who are the funniest are the ones whose first kid was really easy to take care of, and they assume that they’ve got great parenting skills. Then they have a normal child or one on the difficult side. Good to hear that both of yours were always so easy. I’m sure it must be because you did something that no one us ever thought of. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/84 "2014-08-12T07:27:39Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Spite has collateral damage, but sometimes it’s still worth it. LOL. How true, how true. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/85 "2014-08-12T09:55:22Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > This. We certainly have a lot of perfect parents who have never had a bad afternoon on the Dope. That’s probably because of their kids’ enormous IQs and early reading skills. Hey, I’ll have you know my kids have enormous IQs and early reading skills and could (and occasionally still do) throw extraordinary, mindblowing, day-wrecking tantrums nonetheless. Is there anything they can’t do 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/86 "2014-08-12T10:10:28Z")
> [@DChord568](#): > > I’m not unsympathetic to your position. But it seems there was a parenting fail on your end as well, in that you were never taught that it’s not just what you say, but how you say it. > > Most others in this thread have managed to express differing views without resorting to personal snark. The person at whom I snarked strawmanned me. That’s a semi-polite way of saying they lied about what I said and then proceeded to attempt to mock what I didn’t say. It doesn’t get much more snidely, passive-aggressively obnoxious than that. But for some people one can be as snidely passive-aggressively obnoxious as one likes but if one is direct one hasn’t been raised properly. I know how to be polite and say things in a way that doesn’t upset anyone. I pretty much do that for a living. But when someone strawmans me they get it back in spades, and you won’t get any apology from me for that. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/87 "2014-08-12T10:14:34Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > “…uh, yes, Burger King Regional Headquarters? My name is (reporter name) and I’m doing a story for (name of paper). Can you ask your IT department to confirm that their database shows a single purchase of 23 pies at the (location) site on (date) or…perhaps within a week of that date? Actually, any quantity over 20 should pretty well validate the story I’ve received. I can be reached at…” > > “Yeah, sure. Give me 20 minutes and I’ll have an intern run a simple SQL query.” > > Cash registers have been uploading data to home offices and corporate headquarters since the 1980’s. They’ve only gotten more and more sophisticated with the Internet going commercial in the mid-1990’s; now they don’t just report receipts, they report date, time, and inventory changes to make it easier for the bigwigs to differentiate trends from rare spikes (like a shitload of pies being bought in one purchase). Of course, it will take 10 seconds to run the query, 1 minute to write it, 3 minutes to explain the parameters, and 15 minutes to track down a grunt with free time to do the task, but the data will undoubtedly be available. You don’t even need to write a query, if you have the right reports. With the ERP I work with, it would be a standard screen where you enter “material [pie]” “location [this area]” and “dates”, and check whether any red (output) lines are above, say, 5 units. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/88 "2014-08-12T12:04:27Z")
Except as soon as you say “reporter” to a carefully controlled image conscious media savvy organisation like McD’s they are going to transfer you to their media relations people who are going to think long and hard about what will play best for their image before they as much as give you the time of day. Let alone give you data. ---
**Author:** ![slalexan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@slalexan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slalexan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/89 "2014-08-12T12:25:57Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > All of the above, plus the fact that it would take BK maybe 3 minutes to have a new batch ready. All he really would have accomplished is to ensure that Jr. got a freshly heated pie. A better lie would have been to say he bought all of the pies, ready to eat and unheated. It would have been a touch more expensive, though. Not necessarily. At McDonalds, it takes 14 minutes to bake a pie from frozen. I’m not sure if BK has better pie baking technology but running out of pies at McDonalds seriously sucked. Cookies, however, take only three minutes. And they are freaking delicious fresh. Also, you can deep fry a pie from frozen in a little more than three minutes but you can only fry one in a basket at a time because they stick together. They are also freaking delicious when cooked this way. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/90 "2014-08-12T12:49:03Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > “…uh, yes, Burger King Regional Headquarters? My name is (reporter name) and I’m doing a story for (name of paper). Can you ask your IT department to confirm that their database shows a single purchase of 23 pies at the (location) site on (date) or…perhaps within a week of that date? Actually, any quantity over 20 should pretty well validate the story I’ve received. I can be reached at…” > > “Yeah, sure. Give me 20 minutes and I’ll have an intern run a simple SQL query.” > [@Princhester](#): > > Except as soon as you say “reporter” to a carefully controlled image conscious media savvy organisation like McD’s they are going to transfer you to their media relations people who are going to think long and hard about what will play best for their image before they as much as give you the time of day. Let alone give you data. Right. It’s not even a reporter thing. It’s about keeping control of their data as well as their image. They would not help you unless there is an exceptionally compelling reason to do so. I doubt ‘I want to investigate a story on Reddit’ comes close. [The KFC hoax did, but that was a story that made the company look bad.](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/kfc-confirms-employee-kick-disfigured-girl-3-restaurant-article-1.1842831) ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/91 "2014-08-12T12:58:08Z")
> [@slalexan](#): > > Not necessarily. At McDonalds, it takes 14 minutes to bake a pie from frozen. I’m not sure if BK has better pie baking technology but running out of pies at McDonalds seriously sucked. I stand corrected. He delayed the child’s gratification by up to 14 minutes. Still, at what amounts to $1.65/minute, seems like a Phyrric victory to me. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/92 "2014-08-12T12:59:19Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Except as soon as you say “reporter” to a carefully controlled image conscious media savvy organisation like McD’s they are going to transfer you to their media relations people who are going to think long and hard about what will play best for their image before they as much as give you the time of day. Let alone give you data. Yeah, nobody’s going to run that query without knowing what exactly you want it for and, even then, I’d be surprised if they even bother to take the time to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/93 "2014-08-12T13:13:47Z")
I blame it on parents no longer being allowed to lock their children in their cars during restaurant visits. It used to be a self-correcting system. Tantrumites didn’t get baked pies, and instead got baked in cars, resulting in fewer tantrumites. These days, children go inside restaurants to play on or to go on the slides (does McDs still have ball filled poo pits?), while adults are relegated to drive-thrus. Sweeney Todd could do a lot for the Restaurant industry. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/94 "2014-08-12T13:21:18Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > The person at whom I snarked strawmanned me. That’s a semi-polite way of saying they lied about what I said and then proceeded to attempt to mock what I didn’t say. It doesn’t get much more snidely, passive-aggressively obnoxious than that. But for some people one can be as snidely passive-aggressively obnoxious as one likes but if one is direct one hasn’t been raised properly. I know how to be polite and say things in a way that doesn’t upset anyone. I pretty much do that for a living. My initial reaction was to the whole of [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17627523&postcount=25). I just found it kind of funny that a post containing multiple accusations of smugness on the part of others (not just one person) was expressed in such a smug tone. Now you’ve introduced another negative characterization (“snidely”) into the mix, with no more awareness of how your posts might contain elements of this than you had before. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/95 "2014-08-12T13:56:34Z")
And this story is from New York Daily News. Do they even have an editor anymore? This kind of thing is unlikely to work. You buy 23 apple pies and they go in the back and open another box of 100. or You buy all the apple pies, the kid decides he wants cherry pie more and laughs at you for getting stuck with apple. or You hand out pies to other costumers and half a dozen of them give their pies to the kid because people are going to have more sympathy for an upset child then a douchebag out for spite. > [@AnaMen](#): > > It warms MY heart. Most of my opinions are unpopular, so it’s nice for me to see that at least a lot of people agree that this kind of parent/child combo should get no pie! Yet the last thread you started was a big complaint about parents paying attention to kids while they were on the phone. I should think it’s better to be in agreement with oneself before seeking it from others. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/96 "2014-08-12T13:59:51Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Except as soon as you say “reporter” to a carefully controlled image conscious media savvy organisation like McD’s they are going to transfer you to their media relations people who are going to think long and hard about what will play best for their image before they as much as give you the time of day. Let alone give you data. And in this case, there is zero upside. The longer the story stays in play, the more people will associate McDonald’s with caterwauling children and rude, lying customers. The reporter will politely be told that McDonald’s sales records are confidential and given a packet of press releases celebrating the Ronald McDonald House. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/97 "2014-08-12T14:27:23Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > And in this case, there is zero upside. The longer the story stays in play, the more people will associate McDonald’s with caterwauling children and rude, lying customers. The reporter will politely be told that McDonald’s sales records are confidential and given a packet of press releases celebrating the Ronald McDonald House. This story is set at a Burger King, not that that changes the broader point. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/98 "2014-08-12T14:35:00Z")
I’m throwing a tantrum at my desk right now because I seriously want some pie now. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/99 "2014-08-12T14:50:54Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I’m throwing a tantrum at my desk right now because I seriously want some pie now. Buying all the pie in North America to spite you for that may prove a trifle impractical. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267/100 "2014-08-12T14:52:45Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Buying all the pie in North America to spite you for that may prove a trifle impractical. 😃 Get a Kickstarter page going, would you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exasperated-man-buys-everyone-in-burger-king-an-apple-pie-to-teach-boy-throwing-a-tantrum-a-lesson/695267.md?page=6)