# "Excuse me, but would you mind terribly if I robbed you?"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-but-would-you-mind-terribly-if-i-robbed-you/115555>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 23, 2002, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-but-would-you-mind-terribly-if-i-robbed-you/115555 "2002-06-23T12:06:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2002, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-but-would-you-mind-terribly-if-i-robbed-you/115555/1 "2002-06-23T12:06:00Z")

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In today’s paper:

> [@](#):
>
> A polite Japanese criminal asked a shop worker if he could rob him - then apologized for the inconvenience.
> 
> The gray-haired robber, thought to be in his 50s, walked into the store and pulled out a knife, authorities said. He then went over to the assistant manager and said, “Excuse me, I’m terribly sorry but my company has gone bankrupt.”

Those wacky Japanese are soooo polite! 😃

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**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-but-would-you-mind-terribly-if-i-robbed-you/115555/2 "2002-06-23T18:44:03Z")

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Of course!

He’s a -thief-! Not some kind of godless sociopathic malcontent!

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**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-but-would-you-mind-terribly-if-i-robbed-you/115555/3 "2002-06-23T20:14:40Z")

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What are their murderers like? “Excuse me, could you two please stand back to back? I’m running short on bullets. Thanks.”

Or the attempted suicides…“Hey you! Get off that ledge, you could get kill-Oh, you’re a suicide? Terribly sorry. Forgive my interruption. Won’t happen again. Do you need a push?”  
Ranchoth

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**Author:** ![Osakadave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f07891/32.png) [@Osakadave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osakadave)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-but-would-you-mind-terribly-if-i-robbed-you/115555/4 "2002-06-26T05:20:14Z")

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I recall a story (told by Jack Seward FWIW & IIRC) about the Yakuza. Sewards landlady had gotten herself in trouble with a loan-shark. The goons who were sent over to collect were met at the door by Seward. They bowed politely and saud something to the effect of “please stand aside so we can beat up your landlady.” When the landlady took off, they took off their shoes to chase her through the house.

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**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-but-would-you-mind-terribly-if-i-robbed-you/115555/5 "2002-06-26T07:53:12Z")

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Sounds like an ideal application, if ever I heard one, for [Ironic Self Defence](http://www.geocities.com/mmemym/bits2/fal0114.htm).