# Excuse me roommates? Fuck off. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2002, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027 "2002-04-11T13:29:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/21 "2002-04-11T23:10:12Z")
Hi Noc Noc! I see your real Motive here. Your wanting all of us DOpers to feel sorry for you. Your trying to get someone to bring about another Dopefest in T town. I see right thru you. Your pitiful attempts to gather in force to help you hide the bodies have failed. Of course, if you plan a Alabama Dopefest so we can all meet face to face to plot many many years of revenge I am **all for that idea!** Get them make them PAY!!! ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2002, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/22 "2002-04-11T23:56:05Z")
\ Osip, I’ve organized the last two Bamadopes. I would like to organize one again for sometime soon, but I finish school on May 11 and then I have surgery, which puts me out of commission until mid-June. Plus, besides you, I’m seeing very little interest from Bamadopers and I don’t like planning these things on my own. \ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/23 "2002-04-12T00:55:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nocturne \* > I think I’m going to feed them all to Cthulu, since apparently they’ve decided I’m such a heathen.’ OG KILL ROOMMATES! ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/24 "2002-04-12T03:37:53Z")
Don’t use Ex-Lax. Use Immodium AD. Your roommates will be so constipated that when the shit finally does break free, there’ll be some rippage and lots of screaming. Less mess too. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/25 "2002-04-12T05:34:51Z")
Nocturne, do you need a new roommate? 😉 You should put some sort of superglue on the toilet seat right after you give them a nice hearty dosage of ex-lax… ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/26 "2002-04-12T05:43:37Z")
The only difference is that my roomates are family memebers of my husband. Where to start. My brother-in-law and his crack addicted girlfriend! Seven holes in my brand new dry walled backroom and two doors that need to be replaced now. A totaled new truck and one run out of gas and sitting in front of my house because he doesn’t really work and she spends her state check on crack. The cute way they cook their dinner for two after eating out, they either don’t do their dishes from cooking and eating, or they take their food upstairs and leave the dishes upstairs where my sixty some odd year old mother-in-law with the bad knees has to climb the stairs and clean their room so we don’t get bugs. Or if they don’t cook food on their own they will eat the dinner that I make still not cleaning up after themselves. Three days after my father-in-law passed my b-i-l brings down their laundry for her to wash, dry, and fold for them. They scream, they yell, and they have boxing matches at all hours not minding that my children are sleeping. They come in at all hours and they have to walk through my boys room to get through theirs. Oh, don’t bother keeping the noise down they only have a few more hours before they have to get up for school. They don’t pay rent or food, and they get phone calls for the girlfriend at ungodly hours. The cow isn’t even supposed to be in the house but when we went to Minnesota where my husbands aunt lay dying he snuck her in like a teenager. People call for Moo all the time! The bitch don’t live here! Stop calling. I pay the phone bill now you cow! And then we get phone calls all the damn time from his ex-wife because he hasn’t seen his boys since December since she doesn’t like them. Hasn’t paid a dime either since she spends and steals all his money on her drugs. The last lovely fight was over the fact that she told him that she miscarried because he hit her in the stomach. Um, big lie. I know cause the bitch used all my shit so when I started I had nothing to use and had to have a friend run to the store for me. First she told him she was two months or so, and then the next night out of the blue as in casual conversation she tells him “by the way you didn’t just kill one you killed two” Gosh I wonder why he got upset? Then she told him she wasn’t even pregnant. After he destroyed the house over it. When we came back from Minnesota we came home to a filthy house. Tons of dishes, animals not fed or cleaned up after, all my bathroom stuff used and not replaced, and blood all over the place. They are 38 and 30! My nephew moved here from Rhode Island. At first he moved in with my other brother-in-law who also just happens to be an addict. He screwed my nephew out of all his college money to pay back way bad checks and drug dealers, and when that wasn’t enough after my nephew moved out he stole and pawned his computer, his motocycle, and various other items. The computer and bike belonged to my nephews father who killed himself two years ago. Some of you might remember me posting about that around the same time my son was hit by the car. Anyway nephew doesn’t seem to want to get a job. Things are tough around here since my father in law passed and hubby and I are paying most of the bills plus supporting our own five children. Now we have three capable adults living here rent free and eating our food. BIL and Moo take two baths a day. BIL will run a bath and let it sit half the day not using, drain it and then run another. Waste water much? Oh, that’s right you don’t pay the bill. Pay the light bill at all? No? Well, then it is okay for you to leave your tv, lights and radio on. Buy food at all? Nope, but drink all my soda, eat all my food, and by all means please I love to play hide and seek for my dishes. Man, I know this is long but it kind of feels good to get it off my chest. Comments? Questions? ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/27 "2002-04-12T05:48:40Z")
Another vote for > [@](#): > > Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m about to beat the shit out of you. I don’t know what the vote is counted toward, but, hey, does it really matter? ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/28 "2002-04-12T05:51:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kricket \* > \*\* > Comments? Questions? \*\* Holy Fucking Shit! :eek: …is the only comment that seems appropriate just at the moment ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/29 "2002-04-12T07:15:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aspidistra \* > \*\* > > Holy Fucking Shit! > :eek: > …is the only comment that seems appropriate just at the moment \*\* That’s about what I thought upon reading your saga, **Kricket**. Is there a reason why you just don’t kick the sumbitches out? Jeebus Christ, you must have the patience of a saint! Not to take away from your situation, **Nocturne** , but you _did_ say that **Kricket** could rant here… ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/30 "2002-04-13T10:07:58Z")
It’s not my house it’s my mother in laws. Don’t get me wrong, I love the woman and couldn’t ask for a better mother. She is scared of her son. He was a violent child and continued to be so as an adult. And she is the definition of enabler. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/31 "2002-04-14T07:18:20Z")
Yeah, I have some horrible roommates, too! Unfortunately, they both post here, so I can’t say anything bad about them. So, um, **jkusters** and **thomasm** are the bee’s knees! Really! Please don’t raise my rent! ☹ Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Lateralus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@Lateralus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lateralus)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027/32 "2002-04-15T00:44:12Z")
You could make them smoke some Imodium A.D. I did that to someone once. 15 seconds and you can distinctly hear a small nuclear explosion in their pants. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-roommates-fuck-off/103027.md?page=1)