# Excuse me, those are my NIPPLES... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 10, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201 "2003-03-10T02:23:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/41 "2003-03-10T16:14:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JeffB \* > \*\*Just be careful around open fires. \*\* What about Jack Frost’s nipples on your nose? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/42 "2003-03-10T16:59:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MissBungle \* > > Soooooooooooo does your lover not speak english? Well this one did… mostly… 😉 > [@](#): > > Me thinks you are the inconsiderate sex partner. You are telling a forum board what you want… and giving your lover hell for not mind reading. No, actually, I did tell him. He didn’t seem to want to listen. At the time it wasn’t painful enough to keep yelling, “OUCH!” and spoiling the mood, but afterwards I regretted it. But, really, how many times do I have to remind someone? Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/43 "2003-03-10T17:08:50Z")
Sure, your mouth said “No, no!” but your chest said “Yes, yes!” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/44 "2003-03-10T17:37:17Z")
These are the times that try men’s aureoles… Regards, Thomas Pain(e) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/45 "2003-03-10T18:30:40Z")
I want to make a “tit for tat” joke here but I have too much of a headache to think of a clever way to make it. So I’ll just say “tit for tat” instead. Tit for tat. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/46 "2003-03-10T18:35:35Z")
No, I think a tat would hurt even worse. Hmm… maybe something in a sheriff’s star, or possibly a pencil with the nipple serving as the eraser… ---
**Author:** ![Cephalopod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Cephalopod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cephalopod)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/47 "2003-03-10T19:23:06Z")
I love this thread! I completely agree with the observations in Esprix’s original post. I’ve had to politely ask women to “KNOCK IT OFF!!” on several occasions. For more nipple related humor check out these sites that a friend of mine recently sent me. All about mutants with extra nipples (or TRIPLE NIPPLES) [http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~wenz/mainpage.html](http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~wenz/mainpage.html) Did you know Actress Mena Suvari has a triple nipple. I think I love her even more now that I know. [http://itsb.ucsf.edu/~vcr/Actors12.html](http://itsb.ucsf.edu/~vcr/Actors12.html) Enjoy! C’Pod ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/48 "2003-03-10T22:24:27Z")
Man, looks like y’all are milking **Esprix** ’s nips for all they’re worth… ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/49 "2003-03-10T22:35:32Z")
Less pain today; however, the groaning you hear is from the puns in this thread. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/50 "2003-03-10T22:46:08Z")
I think we should just nip this one in the bud, **Esprix** _runs_ ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/51 "2003-03-10T23:01:09Z")
Obviously the Phantom Nipple-Abuser of San Diego is really a Whiffenpoof: > [@](#): > > Gentlemen getting off on **Esprix** , > Doomed from here to eternity; > Lord have mercy on such as we: > Baa! Baa! Baa! ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/52 "2003-03-10T23:04:20Z")
I dunno - are Whiffenpoof’s Asian? Esprix ---
**Author:** ![moc.liamtoh\_rorrim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f17d59/32.png) [@moc.liamtoh\_rorrim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moc.liamtoh_rorrim)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/53 "2003-03-10T23:22:22Z")
woah, i havent been here long but i always thought u were a dude esprix… ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/54 "2003-03-10T23:29:32Z")
DUDE! He’s the **GAY GUY**! Sheesh. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/55 "2003-03-10T23:55:20Z")
Wait – men have **nipples**?!? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/56 "2003-03-11T02:04:22Z")
> [@](#): > > DUDE! He’s the GAY GUY! "My mom used to take messages for me like this: ‘Um,… Suh-cott carred… IS HE THE GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!’ 'Well, God, mom, I don’t know if he’s _the_ gay. That’s a lot of pressure on just one guy. He has to do the parade all by himself… “I’m here! I’m queer! …I guess I’m the only one.” ’ " - Margaret Cho ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/57 "2003-03-11T04:12:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by moc.liamtoh@rorrim \* > > woah, i havent been here long but i always thought u were a dude esprix… Oh, no - I’m a girl. Why do you ask? Esprix ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/58 "2003-03-11T04:27:46Z")
So far, Esprix, your nipples have over 850 viewers each. No wonder they’re tender. By the way, it’s no picnic being on the other side of that fence. I suspect that’s one of the reasons BDSM is so popular (no relation to SDMB). It’s a lot easier to get somebody who’s inclined to apply clamps and hot wax to ease off than it is to keep saying “Do that again, only about three times as hard. No, really. Really, I like it. You have teeth for a reason, bite me, damnit!” ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/59 "2003-03-11T04:36:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 2trew \* > So far, Esprix, your nipples have over 850 viewers each. No wonder they’re tender. And most of them have been lovingly tweaking him, or his nipples! ---
**Author:** ![Siegfried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Siegfried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siegfried)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201/60 "2003-03-11T04:39:05Z")
I going to the bar. Who wants a Buttery Nipple? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-those-are-my-nipples/160201.md?page=4)