# Excuse me while I rehearse my 911 call **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045 "2003-01-16T20:13:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/1 "2003-01-16T20:13:39Z")
Dear husband, I’m going to kill you. I never should have agreed to work with you. I don’t know how you convinced me, or what kind of cranial hemorrhage was going on in my head when I agreed to this. Any moron could see this was a Bad Idea. I am so sick of you blaming me for everything that goes wrong in your office. What the fuck is your problem? Exactly what kind of gigantic cockroach crawled up your ass today? Look you monkey fucker, the reason why I tell you things twice, is because you never listen the first time. And if you ignore me, I get yelled at for not telling you something. And another thing, I am not your goddamned fucking secretary or your fucking maid. I’m sure you can figure out how to operate a pen, you do it at home all the time. It’s bad enough that I have to pick up your dirty socks and underwear at home. Don’t you dare make me clean up after you here. And if you’re too stupid to figure out how to operate a telephone, don’t yell at me, it’s not my problem. If you miss a phone call from Dell, it’s not my fucking fault you left the office and didn’t tell anyone where you were going. I am this close to just walking out that door and never coming back. Excuse my while I wipe my fingerprints from the office and rehearse my 911 call. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/2 "2003-01-16T20:17:48Z")
I’ve heard that husbands and wives working together could be a bad idea, notwithstanding **Hart to Hart**. Meanwhile, maybe you should switch to decaf? Oh, BTW, good luck with dealing with the situation. ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/3 "2003-01-16T20:22:21Z")
Steph, meet [Bob](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=156797) Sounds like a match made in heaven. ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/4 "2003-01-16T20:28:07Z")
Actually, he’s a very sweet man when he’s at home, but boy, when he comes to work, and things are going wrong, he likes to take it out on his staff. It’s like Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde. ---
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/5 "2003-01-16T20:52:19Z")
Does he pay you?? If so then while at the office you are his employee first… not his wife… it was a BIG mistake working for him… my advice would be… stop being his wife at work… Do not let him walk over you… as you would not do this at any other job I assume… let him know when he is unfair… and next time he is a prick at the office… and wants some oral at home… bite… ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/6 "2003-01-16T21:44:24Z")
I worked with my husband for a period of time and it went fine, but only because we were away from each other most of the time. He’s very difficult to work with and I was glad I didn’t have to deal with him directly in a work way. That sounds like a match made in hell, workwise. No job is worth your marriage- agree that it didn’t work and run, don’t walk, out of there. ---
**Author:** ![MissSwish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/db5fbb/32.png) [@MissSwish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissSwish)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/7 "2003-01-16T21:53:28Z")
When you call your DH a Monkey fucker aren’t you just insulting yourself? and JK1245, you beat me to it! ---
**Author:** ![MissSwish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/db5fbb/32.png) [@MissSwish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissSwish)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/8 "2003-01-16T21:54:24Z")
When you call your DH a Monkey fucker aren’t you just insulting yourself? and JK1245, you beat me to it! Working with family sucks. ---
**Author:** ![MissSwish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/db5fbb/32.png) [@MissSwish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissSwish)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/9 "2003-01-16T22:01:52Z")
When you call your DH a Monkey fucker aren’t you just insulting yourself? and JK1245, you beat me to it! Working with family sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/10 "2003-01-16T22:17:24Z")
What are you trying to say, MissSwish? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/11 "2003-01-16T22:22:05Z")
Must I now refer to my wife as a Zeus fucker? ---
**Author:** ![Robb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/12 "2003-01-16T22:31:38Z")
Whatever it is, **Lib** , it deserves repeating. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/13 "2003-01-16T22:32:53Z")
Is your hubby the man with the yellow hat? ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/14 "2003-01-17T11:23:05Z")
I just can’t imagine taking my wife to work in a closed door office setting with me and actually getting **any** work done. Well, work in the sense of responsible company business, not physical expenditure of energy. [sub]Dear? Could you come in here and help me with some dictation, please? Oh, I seem to have dropped my pen underneath my desk, _again_, could you get that? Oh, lock that door behind you, too.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Triss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Triss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triss)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/15 "2003-01-17T12:38:27Z")
Spouses working together can be done. We’ve been doing it for ten years. And no **Skeezix** , you generally aren’t interested in bumping uglies at work because it’s, ahem, unprofessional. Not to mention, not that comfy unless you happen to have a bed or couch in the office. It’s amazing how many people have asked or intimated that we’ve done it at work. Hell, when you’re living and working with your spouse, sometimes you’re lucky if you can stand each other long enough get some at home, never mind in the office. 😃 **Stephi** : Stand UP for yourself, girl. Give him the death stare when he’s being an ass, tell him he’s being an ass, and be not afraid to walk the fuck out the door if he continues to be an ass. Let him do it all by his little self for awhile, what’s he gonna do, divorce you? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/16 "2003-01-17T14:09:21Z")
**Triss** , in all fairness, yeah, I know. We’ve managed to work together several times (strictly in an informal off the clock manner, when there’s a deadline on something or other) and besides, you throw a kid into the mix, and the frequency _and_ your stamina goes down by an order of magnitude. But there’s this juvenile living in the back of my, erm, head, who refuses to give up hope. The secretary in a business suit and skirt, the oversized glasses and hair up in a bun, the reclining oversized swivel office chair… Excuse me. I think I need to go check the shower’s cold water function for temperature and velocity. ---
**Author:** ![Triss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Triss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triss)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/17 "2003-01-17T14:43:00Z")
LOL **Skeezix** …and may your hopes and dreams (and fantasies) never die. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/18 "2003-01-17T14:44:40Z")
Oh, man. Just get out. Just get out NOW. Unless the job’s more important than your marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/19 "2003-01-17T14:50:21Z")
Well, I could just hang in there until April, when his office manager comes back from maternity leave. It’s like he’s being extra mean to me. Maybe to avoid accusations of favoritism? I don’t know, but at this rate, I’m not going to last another two weeks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045/20 "2003-01-17T15:25:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NurseCarmen \* > \*\*Is your hubby the man with the yellow hat? \*\* I burst out in loud guffaws in your general direction!!! Thanks for making my morning! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/excuse-me-while-i-rehearse-my-911-call/149045.md?page=2)