# Exercises in futility, home repair edition. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 12, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477 "2014-11-12T20:47:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![slowlearner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@slowlearner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slowlearner)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/21 "2014-11-14T02:35:10Z")
Oh my God the kitchen drawer slide! I can do anything around the house, AC, plumbing, electric, tile, sheetrock, masonry but I can’t get this one kitchen drawer slide right! Mine has been hung half an inch from fully closing for 5 years too! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/22 "2014-11-14T03:57:46Z")
> [@slowlearner](#): > > Oh my God the kitchen drawer slide! I can do anything around the house, AC, plumbing, electric, tile, sheetrock, masonry but I can’t get this one kitchen drawer slide right! Mine has been hung half an inch from fully closing for 5 years too! Oh, they close when I’m done with them. And then the next one fails and I have to contort myself into impossible positions to replace it with a sturdier model. And then the next one fails and I have to learn the whole process again. At least the profanity doesn’t change. I am today nursing painful arthritic joints as a result of replacing the most recently failed one of those fucking stupid MOTHERFUCKING DRAWER SLIDES! Oh, and it’s not the slide that fails - oh, no, the slides are made of steel. It’s those communist China-made fucking plastic support brackets that fatigue and then fail, causing the back of the drawer to fall into the cabinet below it. And the contractor who put them in used staples instead of screws. Many, many staples which are nearly impossible to remove without damaging the goddamn mounting strip attached to the back wall of the cabinet. May he rot in eternal flaming hell, the miserable SONOFABITCH! ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/23 "2014-11-14T17:14:52Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > But there is clearly something wrong with the way the circuit is wired. > > A three-way circuit should be controlled by either switch alone, not both together. You should be able to use the switch by the door to turn the light_s_ on and then use the switch by the side door to the outside to turn them off and vice versa. > > It’s kinda sounding like you’ve got two separate, switched, circuits that started as a three-way circuit and not a properly wired three-way circuit (which it really should be). > > CMC fnord! That’s my fault for leaving out a detail. The switch by the inside door is motion activated, but it’s not a three-way. So the real three-way switch by the outside door switches off the first switch. This is one of the _idiosyncratic_ mods I mentioned above. I should just remove or disable the other switch. It serves no real purpose, since the motion switch would (probably) go on if you came in through the side door. Until earlier this week, it had never been an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/24 "2014-11-14T18:41:13Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > Did you know that the natural gas inlet of a gas water heater is the same diameter and thread as the cold water inlet? Did you know that in a well-plumbed house, the cold water piping is gas-tight? Did you know that a natural gas flame shooting out of your kitchen faucet is FRICKING COOL!?!??! !!! I want !!! Do you have pics at least? Seeing them might prevent me from “accidentally” damaging my water heater plumbing while moving something in the basement and then doing something I would eventually regret. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/25 "2014-11-14T19:21:19Z")
> [@Fir\_na\_tine](#): > > Try removing the elements in an electric hot water heater and discovering via the arc welding flash that you forgot to shut off the circuit breaker. Had to change my shorts (heh, heh, heh) on that one. A soldering iron also makes a nifty arc welder in the right circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/26 "2014-11-15T03:04:00Z")
A friend and I were leaving my house one day. He asked if I wanted the light out and I said yes. The next day I noticed the answering machine and the floor lamp weren’t working. They were plugged into the same outlet, so I checked all the breakers. No luck. I took apart the outlet to check the wiring- no broken or loose wires. I was pretty broke at the time, so I just ran an extension cord from the next outlet 3’ away and forgot about it. Cut to six weeks later. The lamp and machine were near the front door, which I never used. Both switches by the door were in the off position. :smack: On with the second switch, outlet magically repaired! ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/27 "2014-11-15T03:44:24Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > Well this is more senility than stupidity, but my toilet was leaking. I considered fixing it and then thought to myself “there has been a tremendous increase in water use efficiency in toilets in the last couple decades so why not go ahead and get a new toilet?” So I got a new toilet and then was in the process of removing my old toilet when I noticed the manufacturing date. The old toilet was only a few years old–I had forgotten I had already replaced it. This is awesome. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/28 "2014-11-15T16:29:28Z")
Well, my pump house heat went out this past week. The breaker for the heater was flipped and would not go back on. First step: replace the heater because it is old as shit. I had it in my mind that I needed a 120v heater. I was sure. So I went and bought the 120v wall heater, brought it home, installed it. Breaker still says no. Re-install heater in case I made a mistake. Breaker says no. Call my electrician. He comes out at the end of his day, and says “You need a 240v heater.” Fuck. Grab old heater and sure as shit, it says 240v. Electrician laughs his ass off. I asked you, he says. I tried to save you a service call, he says. And then tells me he’ll sell me a 240v heater for cheap. So I run out to his house, by a new heater, bring it home, install in cold. Breaker says NO. Call my electrician, and he can’t come out til who knows when because he just started a massive job. Put a temporary heating solution out in the pump house. I am now waiting for my electrician to have some spare time to come out and figure out what the fuck is going on. New breaker? New wiring? Both? $250 spent so far and the problem is still not solved. I wish I had just set up the temporary heater and called the electrician to begin with. I have learned my lesson. I already got taught not to fuck with plumbing in there, and now I know to leave the electric alone, too. Pump house hates me, so I am just calling my trades from now on. I’m sure it’s better for all of us–harder on the wallet, easier on the mind. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/29 "2014-11-15T20:59:54Z")
That doesn’t add up. The electrician looked at your wiring and should have confirmed it was correct for 220v. He sells you a 220v heater. Didn’t he say, stretch _hook up the black here, the white here and so on?_ He could easily talk you through this on the phone. Especially since he’s already inspected the wiring. Or even drop by for 20 minutes at the end of his regular work day to do it for you (that would require a labor charge). ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/30 "2014-11-15T21:29:21Z")
Probably just a faulty breaker. They do wear out sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/31 "2014-11-15T21:33:58Z")
Yeah, the electrician should have checked the breaker when he looked at the circuit. The original heater may be just fine. But more likely its bad and started tripping the breaker. After awhile the old breaker went bad from being turned back on so many times. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/32 "2014-11-18T19:31:39Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Oh, they close when I’m done with them. And then the next one fails and I have to contort myself into impossible positions to replace it with a sturdier model. And then the next one fails and I have to learn the whole process again. At least the profanity doesn’t change. I am today nursing painful arthritic joints as a result of replacing the most recently failed one of those fucking stupid MOTHERFUCKING DRAWER SLIDES! > > Oh, and it’s not the slide that fails - oh, no, the slides are made of steel. It’s those communist China-made fucking plastic support brackets that fatigue and then fail, causing the back of the drawer to fall into the cabinet below it. And the contractor who put them in used staples instead of screws. Many, many staples which are nearly impossible to remove without damaging the goddamn mounting strip attached to the back wall of the cabinet. May he rot in eternal flaming hell, the miserable SONOFABITCH! Your home repair cred is fully acknowledged with this post of beauty. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/33 "2014-11-18T20:44:17Z")
**stretch** , your story reminds me of our experience this spring. One day this loud buzzing starts coming from the basement, I investigate and it turns out it’s the septic system high level alarm. Shit! (literally!) I began troubleshooting in my mind, and it occurs to me to check the breaker. Sure enough, it’s popped. I reset it, the alarm goes off. Life is good. Next day - _ **bzzzzzzzzzzzt** _, damn! Call the septic guy, he says “I bet you need a new pump, I’ll be out there to replace it tomorrow” One day and $1800 later I have a new septic pump. Two days later - _ **bzzzzzzzzzzzt** _, wtf?! Call the electrician, he comes, replaces the breaker. I kick myself in the ass. Next day - _ **bzzzzzzzzzzzt** _, jesus jumped-up christ on a goddamned motorcycle! Call electrician, “Hmm, I bet it’s the underground wire out to the pump. Probably got a crack in it during all of the heavy equipment at your place this winter.” He can’t come out for at least a week, so we reset the breaker every 5 hours. Finally, 2 weeks later, I have a new wire in conduit connecting the (unnecessary) new breaker to the (unnecessary) new septic pump. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/34 "2014-11-18T21:34:37Z")
I was laying out a pattern in pencil for an inset window in our house entry door. I marked some cut lines for 3 or 4 possible placements, stepped back to judge what looked like the best spot, then stepped back in to darken the final cut lines. (\*insert missing quality step here \*) I grabbed the router and saw, cut out the chunk of wood from the door, set in the pretty window, screwed it in, trimmed the edges, touched up a couple of scratches in the paint. I hung the door, checking the fit and swing and the locks again. Perfect. I went to show off to Mrs G. Mrs G: “It’s way off center” Me: “Can’t be, I measured many times, marked it, and…” Mrs G: “And?” :smack: “And I darkened in the wrong lines.” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/35 "2014-11-18T22:38:04Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > That is a very good idea. Our home inspector labelled a lot of the valves, but the circuit breakers are not 100% done. > > Our exercises in futility in home repairs almost always stem from living in older houses (our current one was built in 1970, I think). As things wear out, you want to replace them with new, modern stuff. Unfortunately, sizes have almost always changed in the 40 years since our house was built. We now go into replacement repairs like this with the assumption that new stuff won’t fit, and go from there. Oh migosh, this. House built in 1973. One day this past September, the electricity in the downstairs bathroom stopped. Issue was a bad breaker switch in the basement sub panel. Yanked the old breaker and took it with me to Home Depot because, hey, they come in different sizes and stuff. Also, this ain’t my first rodeo doing DIY on a 40+ year old house. HD guy looks at my breaker with genuine wonder, like I pulled it off a crashed spaceship. After a few seconds he smugly announces, “Yup, I got that.” reaches waaaay up on the High Shelf of Relics and produces an identical (but unflamed) breaker. “That’s $75.” I gagged. After some back and forth I was able to walk out of the store with a new 50 amp sub panel and a handful of modern breakers for $50. Cool, right? Nope. I was able to get the old breaker box off the wall without murdering myself but the previous electrician cut the incoming wires (perhaps correctly) so that they were prceisely long enough to work with the old box. New box is laid out a bit differently and had to be installed upside down in order to hook it up. To add insult to injury, the wires for the other circuits also had to be stretched/routed awkwardly (but not dangerously) inside the box. My plan is to do a down-to-studs remodel throughout the house in a couple years anyway, so I’ll correct the whole schmear in the forseeable future. But I sure hope nobody sees my work before then. More to the OP: when you’re sweating old copper pipes, you have to make sure there is no water at the joint you’re trying to heat up. Because water in the pipe is a really efficient heat sink. And you can flame away at that joint for upwards of 20 minutes and it will not come loose. Until you remember to drain the pipe. Which is full of hot water. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/36 "2014-11-18T22:54:38Z")
I did a job today with zero fuckups! Installed three curtain rods in the LR, all level, and hit wood with every bracket screw instead of having to mess with drywall anchors. Hot damn! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/37 "2014-11-18T22:56:37Z")
Truly a beerworthy event! ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/38 "2014-11-18T23:08:53Z")
Your bathroom gets a lot of foot-traffic, and a few accidents. Don’t install white floor tiles. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/39 "2014-11-18T23:46:50Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I did a job today with zero fuckups! Installed three curtain rods in the LR, all level, and hit wood with every bracket screw instead of having to mess with drywall anchors. Hot damn! We don’t like your type around here! ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/exercises-in-futility-home-repair-edition/704477/40 "2014-11-18T23:48:02Z")
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