# Explain 'Catholic guilt' **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 30, 2006, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155 "2006-12-30T23:10:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/61 "2007-01-02T01:58:20Z")
**If it is fun, it is a sin.** The best quote I’ve ever encountered was from our VGF Chuck, A humanist with Presbyterian upbringing to my Mom, the ex Nun, who thrives on a Guilt Based lifestyle and beleives that anytime she does anything for herself within a very short amount of time shit happens to her that is God’s way of saying she is being punished. ( Fun childhood, no?) ( This is 80 percent Catholic and 20% Depressionary Baby stuff.) “Y’know what the only two things Catholics can do without guilt?” My mom, who is ladling a mound of potatoes onto chuck’s plate after he declined seconds. “What?” “Drink and gamble.” That summed up everything for me in one instant. Thanks, Chuck! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/62 "2007-01-02T02:04:29Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] The way I like to describe Catholic guilt: You’re sitting at home, enjoying a good book, and you feel guilty-after all, you’re not doing anything important, you could be out volunteering at a homeless shelter. So you go and volunteer, and you’re working at a soup kitchen…and then you start to feel guilty because you’re not homeless. [/QUOTE] This is excellent, too. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/63 "2007-01-02T02:40:30Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] This is excellent, too. [/QUOTE] Agreed. I’m a sorta-Catholic, sorta-ex-Catholic who had (still has) Catholic guilt _baaaaaaaad_ growing up. I felt I had to hold myself up to a higher standard than I expected _anyone else_ to be. Even when I was in college, it still happened. Story: I’m a college student with a part time job and basically can afford the gas and car insurance it cost to go to school (I commuted). I go to Mass with my mom and there are boards for soup kitchen donations. There are tons of sticky notes with things written on them and you can take one or more of them, get the items and return them to the school cafeteria the next weekend for the Capuchin Soup Kitchen. I had no freaking money. None. I still kept staring at the boards. I _had_ to take a tag. How could I not? Here I am with a house and food and going to college and so many other people have it a lot worse (like the people who need the soup kitchen) and I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE A LOUSY TAG? WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE ARE YOU, HUH? So I took a damn tag and (here’s the kicker) _I still managed to feel guilty because I had kind of wanted to not take a tag_. Even though I DID take a tag, the fact I thought about NOT taking one made me feel guilty. I still feel a bit crappy about it. So yeah, you mostly hear about it from ex-Catholics because they’re the ones who couldn’t take it. I know that I’m extremely neurotic, and this stuff only made it worse. If you’re not insanely neurotic (and also someone who always wants to meet the approval of everyone she meets. Ahem), maybe it’s not something that really bothers you. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/64 "2007-01-02T03:02:47Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] I will say that if anyone strongly disagrees with this teaching or can’t understand the value in it, they are certainly free to leave the Church and find one that works better with their own personal philosophies. People do this all the time. [/QUOTE] I heartily concur, and would hope all folks adherent to any particular faith/credo/philosophy remember this. Another point of view however, is that people within a given belief system can question the teachings and encourage change, rather than leaving. It is not my style, and seems rather contrarian to try to change an established credo (if there happens to be one). But many earnest folks desire this. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/65 "2007-01-02T03:43:34Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] I heartily concur, and would hope all folks adherent to any particular faith/credo/philosophy remember this. Another point of view however, is that people within a given belief system can question the teachings and encourage change, rather than leaving. It is not my style, and seems rather contrarian to try to change an established credo (if there happens to be one). But many earnest folks desire this. [/QUOTE] To be quite honest, I have never really understood this. There are about a zillion Protestant denominations, and it doesn’t seem to be too hard for people to find one that fits them. This is not to say that I agree with every tenent of the Church…I think it would be practically impossible to do so. Because I agree with the most basic tenents, I choose to stay, and accept the fact that there are things that I don’t like. It’s kind of like my marriage…I love my husband enough to accept the things that drive me crazy about him! I think that when you are Catholic, you basically have two choices: 1) Live with the things you don’t agree with, or 2) Find someplace else that you can agree with more closely. I have always thought that it is particularly difficult to be Amercian AND Catholic…the relationship we have to our country is so different from the one we are supposed to have with our Church. We are taught as Americans to question authority and work for change. As Catholics, we are taught to accept what we don’t agree with or don’t understand. It makes it very, very hard. My attitude is to respect what the Church teaches, and try to understand it as best I can. It is not my place to try to change the Church to suit me, because then it might not suit someone else. Likewise, I don’t want someone else to try to change the things I might love about it, either. Even though I am not what one would call a “conservative” Catholic (not being nearly observant or devout enough to fit that label), I do believe in “conserving” what the Church is and stands for. I consider my lack of observance and devotion to be my problem, not the Church’s. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/66 "2007-01-02T05:08:29Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] To be quite honest, I have never really understood this. There are about a zillion Protestant denominations, and it doesn’t seem to be too hard for people to find one that fits them. [/QUOTE] But of course, there AREN’T a zillion, and many of the ones that would be readily available could be even further removed from a person’s beliefs. If everyone who disagreed with a particular denomination left at the moment of disagreement, then the Christian world would end up as two billion different one-person denominations. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/67 "2007-01-02T13:42:03Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] But of course, there AREN’T a zillion, and many of the ones that would be readily available could be even further removed from a person’s beliefs. If everyone who disagreed with a particular denomination left at the moment of disagreement, then the Christian world would end up as two billion different one-person denominations. [/QUOTE] True. My assumption would be that a person would leave the one they are in only if there were major disagreements. If everyone who stayed Catholic tried to change the Church to be EXACTLY what they wanted, chaos would ensue there, too. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/68 "2007-01-02T15:13:46Z")
[QUOTE=BarnOwl] His reaction was contemptuous snort and a change of subject. I still get furious when I think of it. [/QUOTE] Wow, he was doing a shitty job as a confessor. I’ve been blessed to have only good experiences with Confession (starting with first confession when I was too shy to speak and could only cry about it–the priest was so understanding and nice and told me to come back when I was ready 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/69 "2007-01-02T15:26:37Z")
[QUOTE=kiz] To take it a step further, it’s usually (although not always) guilt over something most people would consider pleasurable. Like having sex, for instance. Or having a multi-course gourmet dinner. As a few relatives would say, _“How CAN you EAT that frou-frou when there are starving children in [name any impoverished country]?”_ [/QUOTE] Believe it or not, I get that from strangers at times. And my stock answer is “Just like this!”, and then shovel food in my mouth so fast it dribbles from the corners. The look on their face is priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155/70 "2007-01-02T15:38:44Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] Wow, he was doing a shitty job as a confessor. I’ve been blessed to have only good experiences with Confession (starting with first confession when I was too shy to speak and could only cry about it–the priest was so understanding and nice and told me to come back when I was ready 🙂 ) [/QUOTE] You are right…the priest wasn’t doing his job. I always feel bad for people who have bad experiences in confession. The Church is like any other organization…some priests are good, some are bad. Some are real jerks. Some shouldn’t do parish work, because they are not good at dealing with people. I would be pretty mad if I had an experience like **BarnOwl’s** , too…but condemning the entire church is pretty much throwing the baby out with the bathwater. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-catholic-guilt/386155.md?page=3)