# Explain the allure of hiring a prostitute? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 5, 2012, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795 "2012-03-05T06:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dublin11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dublin11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dublin11)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/21 "2012-03-05T21:53:50Z")
> [@grude](#): > > The sadness is that he thinks so lowly of himself that he could never have a relationship or sex without paying for it, **thats just not true at all**. And apparently the government agrees. I think that’s rather optimistic of you, to be polite. Surely the man in question knows better than you about what his success rate has been with the ladies. And further if the government is giving out grants for people to go to prostitutes you can bet your bippy that there are forms to be filled in and all manner of evaluation processes to be sat through, with a social worker or therapist or some other similar professional person. If you could manage to get sexed up under your own steam, would you put yourself through that sort of embarassment to get some money from the government? ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/22 "2012-03-05T21:54:39Z")
She shows up (or you pick her up), she does what you want, she leaves. No muss, no fuss and you are guaranteed to score, so no worrying about rejection. That is pretty much the allure to it. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/23 "2012-03-05T22:01:43Z")
> [@Dublin11](#): > > I think that’s rather optimistic of you, to be polite. > Surely the man in question knows better than you about what his success rate has been with the ladies. And further if the government is giving out grants for people to go to prostitutes you can bet your bippy that there are forms to be filled in and all manner of evaluation processes to be sat through, with a social worker or therapist or some other similar professional person. > If you could manage to get sexed up under your own steam, would you put yourself through that sort of embarassment to get some money from the government? I’m not in any way against that dude going to a hooker or against the government paying for it, I just found his self assessment sad. No he may not be able to score with some air headed trophy wife in training, I’m sure he doesn’t have the right package for that(said package being a fat wallet) but there really are people out there for almost anyone. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/24 "2012-03-05T22:04:32Z")
They do things to your penis that feel pleasant. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/25 "2012-03-05T22:10:23Z")
> [@grude](#): > > National Geographic’s Taboo series had a Dutch man in a wheelchair on and followed him as he went to visit a er whorehouse in Amsterdam, he said that the government provides prostitution allowances for disabled men like him as of course he could never have sex otherwise. Wow that was about the saddest thing I ever head, I felt sorry for him(and think he is fooling himself). Rick Santorum’s head just asploded. ---
**Author:** ![Disgscen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f05b48/32.png) [@Disgscen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgscen)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/26 "2012-03-05T22:14:20Z")
Any man can have sex with a woman that fits their ideal of beauty, without any necessity for reciprocity. It just takes cash. If you’re truly trying to understand the mindset, I highly suggest the thread, “Ask the Icebear (aka guy who visits brothels)”. But even without that, I notice some rather telltale phrases in your posts: “I just can’t understand” “I feel no attraction to” “It is difficult to imagine” I think you’re rather tightly wedded to your position; I would be impossible to convince you to change your position, because you don’t want to be convinced. Which is fine, except that you seem to suggest that others couldn’t be happy with a different set of beliefs. I don’t think you’ve supported yours well, so that seems absurd. You also say, “there really are people out there for almost anyone.” That’s false. Most people die alone. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/27 "2012-03-05T22:17:53Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > They do things to your penis that feel pleasant. Or unpleasant if you prefer…whats not to love:) ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/28 "2012-03-05T22:20:25Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > She shows up (or you pick her up), she does what you want, she leaves. No muss, no fuss and you are guaranteed to score, so no worrying about rejection. That is pretty much the allure to it. Yeah, it’s not like sex with a non-prostitute is free, either. There’s a financial and/or emotional investment made when you have sex with a regular person (dates, chatting, dressing nicely, doing your hair, dinner conversation, dancing, etc). And prostitutes don’t tell your wife that you’re cheating on her. ---
**Author:** ![Dublin11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dublin11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dublin11)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/29 "2012-03-05T22:24:11Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I’m not in any way against that dude going to a hooker or against the government paying for it, I just found his self assessment sad. > > No he may not be able to score with some air headed trophy wife in training, I’m sure he doesn’t have the right package for that(said package being a fat wallet) but there really are people out there for **almost** anyone. This is the key. Almost. If almost eveyone can find a person, then those who aren’t in the almost can find no-one. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/30 "2012-03-05T22:30:30Z")
In college I took an ethics class where we discussed questions like this. When we got to the topic of premarital sex a very earnest young man had asked the professor if he could lead the class. The professor, almost certainly laughing behind his hand, said that if the young man wished to beard the lion in its own den, then he was certainly welcome to do so. The young man got up and spent about twenty minutes talking about self respect, and how much better sex within a loving and committed relationship was, and that sex without mutual commitment was a sign of low self respect. He talked about _agape_ love versus _eros_, and said he wouldn’t demean himself by settling for _eros_ and that he held himself to a higher standard of _agape_ or nothing. After he had given his mini-sermon I asked the first question.Do you ever eat at McDonalds?Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/31 "2012-03-05T22:36:42Z")
> [@Dublin11](#): > > This is the key. Almost. > > If almost eveyone can find a person, then those who aren’t in the almost can find no-one. Ok again I have no problem with anyone anywhere visiting a prostitute, but its not a relationship. I feel sad for anyone who thinks they are below a relationship, I don’t feel sad that they go to a hooker. My position is that choosing a girl from the corner based on the fact she has the fewest cold sores isn’t sexually exciting to ME. Seems awkward. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/32 "2012-03-05T22:51:08Z")
Guys go to prostitutes because going up to a girl and telling her “how about a blowjob, and maybe some anal and then you go away” is not going to work. It has nothing whatsoever to do with relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Disgscen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f05b48/32.png) [@Disgscen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgscen)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/33 "2012-03-05T22:55:34Z")
Going to a prostitute and having a relationship with a non-prostitute (then or at another time) are not mutually exclusive. The fact that you’re familiar with one person who believes they are below a relationship, and thus goes to prostitutes, doesn’t mean that everyone who goes to prostitutes believes that–and you generally won’t be able to tell the difference. The fact that some street prostitutes are nasty doesn’t mean your lack of sexual attraction to them makes all prostitutes unattractive to all people. You’re stuck on your attitudes, and you seem to think that anyone else who thought about the issues would agree with you. That’s demonstrably not true, both in this thread, the other I mentioned in post #26, and in real life. Are you starting to understand better now? If not, what exactly would you like other posters to add? ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/34 "2012-03-05T22:56:24Z")
All sex is transactional in some way. Prostitutes simply have a more understandable exchange rate. ---
**Author:** ![Jasper\_Kent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9a28c/32.png) [@Jasper\_Kent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasper_Kent)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/35 "2012-03-05T23:43:00Z")
Many good points made already. I have never personally made that transaction and I think I’d be emotionally(but NOT morally) uncomfortable with it. I do understand it, though: some guys want purely physical contact, don’t want to bother with wining&dining, etc. I _ **have** _ been friends with several prostitutes and slept with a few as well-- just not as a “John.” They are often addicts but they are NOT all ugly, rough, or nasty. They are usually sweet and charming, and can be quite intelligent as well. The best long-term relationship of my life was with a former prostitute. I still love that wonderful woman. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/36 "2012-03-06T00:12:49Z")
OP, do you really not understand the practice or do you just want to flaunt your moral superiority? It’s not about how able someone is to get into a relationship at all. It’s really much simpler than that - it’s about getting your dick wet. Whether you are able to talk a girl into bed or not, it’s a lot less work and less of a headache to state the terms up front. And in fact many men who use the services of hookers are married or have girlfriends already - but I don’t suppose you understand why a man would ever want to have sex with another woman besides his girlfriend, right? Because such a thought is clearly beneath you. ETA: as a matter of fact, a really common tagline for escort-type services is “I’ll do what your girlfriend won’t”. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/37 "2012-03-06T00:52:11Z")
> [@grude](#): > > It is difficult to imagine the person so absolutely lacking in any personality or charm or physical attraction that their only option for sexual relations is to pay for it. Some men just want more sex. Some men want different sex. Some men are turned on by the forbidden nature of it, or by the power dynamic of being a paying customer. Some men just can’t find a suitably attractive girlfriend. Some men may be into a particular kink that they can only find by paying for it. Some men are just dogs who get a rush out of screwing as many women as humanly possible. It also depends what you mean by prostitute. Streetwalkers are one thing; a professional escort’s another. Like any other service, the more you pay, the better the quality. You don’t need to use prostitutes to understand that if the $300/hour escort wasn’t providing a better product/service, there’d be no demand for it when the $50 handjob option is out there. I can certainly understand why it might squick you out - hell, I’m embarassed for the women at strip clubs. But it’s sex. Sex is appealing. Surely you can get used to it. People do WAY weirder shit for sexual jollies; just look around the 'net. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/38 "2012-03-06T00:54:02Z")
> [@grude](#): > > My position is that choosing a girl from the corner based on the fact she has the fewest cold sores isn’t sexually exciting to ME. Seems awkward. I’m not up on American slang. Do the confused responses in this thread derive from a qualitative difference between “prostitute” and “callgirl” or such? Suppose you’re not in a relationship and a rich friend treats you to a date with a ravishing $2000/hour hooker. She doesn’t have cold sores. Do you turn down the offer? ---
**Author:** ![Mewl\_Dear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mewl\_Dear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mewl_Dear)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/39 "2012-03-06T01:16:32Z")
> [@grude](#): > > Ok again I have no problem with anyone anywhere visiting a prostitute, but its not a relationship. I feel sad for anyone who thinks they are below a relationship, I don’t feel sad that they go to a hooker. > > My position is that choosing a girl from the corner based on the fact she has the fewest cold sores isn’t sexually exciting to ME. Seems awkward. Fortunately, you have never been a reprehensible individual. Don’t fucking judge. Sanctomonious much? ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/40 "2012-03-06T01:47:00Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > I’m not up on American slang. Do the confused responses in this thread derive from a qualitative difference between “prostitute” and “callgirl” or such? > > Suppose you’re not in a relationship and a rich friend treats you to a date with a ravishing $2000/hour hooker. She doesn’t have cold sores. Do you turn down the offer? That would just be rude to turn down such an opportunity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795.md?page=3)