# Explain the allure of hiring a prostitute? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 5, 2012, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795 "2012-03-05T06:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/81 "2012-03-07T06:38:18Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Are there any male escorts that can charge that amount? I mean, we hear about high end female hookers, but are there high end–yes I said high end–males? I’m not gay, but for $2000, I’m more than willing to experim… oops, I shouldn’t have posted that ---
**Author:** ![Stelios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Stelios](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stelios)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/82 "2012-03-07T06:50:59Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > All sex is transactional in some way. Prostitutes simply have a more understandable exchange rate. Damn, that’s a great line! Totally stealing it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/83 "2012-03-07T07:20:30Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I give up, if you choose to believe I believe myself morally superior to those that frequent prostitutes sure whatever. > > We have threads where someone doesn’t understand status symbols and despite it all people try to explain it, I wanted to know how people who use prostitutes get around the awkwardness and I’m a bible thumper.(awkwardness not being conductive to sexual excitement usually). > > Personally I think its immoral that prostitution is illegal on either end of the transaction. You’ve been told repeatedly that it’s not about wanting a GF or an act of despreration. But you STILL keep going there. Just look at celebs who have been busted with prostitutues. Do you really think there is any shortage of women who want to boink them for free? Look, some people do go out of desperation. But there are other reasons as well: 1.)The taboo itself turns people on. 2.)The feeling of power/ ownership of another human being. 1. Fetish, a guy wants anal but his wife wont do it. 4.) Gay currious. The list goes on and on and on… ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/84 "2012-03-07T08:43:26Z")
> [@Vicullum](#): > > Even those of you who claim to get sex for free are still working for it in some fashion, either financially by taking her out on dates and buying gifts, or the time invested in exchanging messages and getting to know her. For cynics like myself you’re still “paying” for sex, only you’re spending much more than I am. One of several consensuses (consensi?) showing up in several posts, and in any number of other similar threads on any number of boards, is the idea that ALL sex (at least all hetero sex) is commercial in one way or another. Some sufficiently cynical/desperate guys argue that ALL females are prostitutes. (See post #54 above.) And that line, originally Posted by **pullin** a few posts above: “All sex is transactional in some way. Prostitutes simply have a more understandable exchange rate.” that **Stelios** so appreciated. Add to this: When you pay $$$ directly instead of playing all that dating game stuff, you can be reasonably sure you will get what you paid for. Dating, however, is like playing the lottery or being a used car salesman – You can never be sure when, if ever, your investment will ever pay off. And direct $$$ is the only currency that some guys have to offer in trade. ---
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/85 "2012-03-07T12:08:15Z")
> [@Vicullum](#): > > Why spend $2000 on a call girl? Beats me–I’ve never spent over $150, and that was for a threesome in Brazil (this was before the dollar tanked). Only rich fools which limited options would pay that much. I prefer to do my mongering overseas where prices are lower and the variety is higher. If you’ve never visited a FKK club in Germany I highly recommend it. Imagine 50+ women from all over Europe walking around nude, that you can take back to a room for 50 euros for 30 minutes. Want to extend your time, or wait and get another partner, or maybe two or three? Well, you can! Your options are only limited by your stamina and bank account. How else would you get to experience such a thing in this world, outside of being a rock star? > > I won’t deny having sex and an emotional connection with your partner is pretty nice. Indeed, one of the mostly highly prized of encounters is the “girlfriend experience,” where in addition to sex an escort offers services more like a “real” relationship, and actually converses with you, goes on dates, and is not shy with kissing. But sex without an emotional connection also feels pretty damn good too. > > For the record, I consider myself to be fairly attractive, always use safe sex, and have never once had an STD. Good post, I don’t get the mutliple thousand dollar ‘dates’ either…unless - as omeoneupthread pointed out - they are so rich they don’t notice spending an extra 2000. This year so far I’ve spent about half that on 6 days with free booze, food and welness and having sex with 13 girls between 19-25…with some repeats, longer sessions and other extras included. Just going clubbing with friends 6 times would cost me about half of that. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/86 "2012-03-07T13:07:10Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > One of several consensuses (consensi?) showing up in several posts, and in any number of other similar threads on any number of boards, is the idea that ALL sex (at least all hetero sex) is commercial in one way or another. I don’t think you can call it a consensus. There are plenty of us who will assert that some sex isn’t commercial; some sex is done out of a free expression of love, or bonding, or for mutual enjoyment with no transactional strings attached. But if a guy’s just looking to get laid, it seems to me that paying a prostitute for sex is, at least, more ethical and honest than some of the other ways he could go about it—like feigning feelings for a woman he does not have, making promises he won’t keep, or applying high pressure sales techniques to overcome a woman’s resistance (let alone rape). ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_G7subs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85e7bf/32.png) [@Rich\_G7subs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_G7subs)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/87 "2012-03-07T13:52:17Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > All sex is transactional in some way. Prostitutes simply have a more understandable exchange rate. … and, in a nutshell! ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/88 "2012-03-07T14:24:16Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > One of several consensuses (consensi?) showing up in several posts, and in any number of other similar threads on any number of boards, is the idea that ALL sex (at least all hetero sex) is commercial in one way or another. Some sufficiently cynical/desperate guys argue that ALL females are prostitutes. (See post #54 above.) > > And that line, originally Posted by **pullin** a few posts above: > “All sex is transactional in some way. Prostitutes simply have a more understandable exchange rate.” This just in: [Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam](http://www.theonion.com/articles/housewife-charged-in-sexforsecurity-scam,948/) (yes, it’s an Onion article.) > [@The Onion](#): > > AKRON, OH—Area resident Helen Crandall, 44, was arrested by Akron police Sunday, charged with conducting an elaborate “sex-for-security” scam in which she allegedly defrauded husband Russell Crandall out of nearly $230,000 in cash, food, clothing and housing over the past 19 years using periodic offers of sexual intercourse. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/89 "2012-03-07T15:01:51Z")
My experience with prostitution is limited to having lived in the 90s in a neighborhood in DC that had a lot of hookers. There was this church parking lot on the corner, and if I cut through it to get to the 7-11 at night I would invariably see some suburban guy who looked like someones dad getting a blowjob in his car from some street walker who looked like a guy in drag (and probably was). The whole thing was just so sad. I think that’s what most of the transactions are like, not these $2,000 call girl fantasies. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/90 "2012-03-07T16:50:24Z")
A lot of posters have hit on this already, but seriously, the traditional route of _dating_ is a form of prostitution anyway. You’re still paying the financial & emotional investments in order to develop a relationship and ultimately have sex; the difference, then, between the conventional way of courtship and hookers is that with the latter option you’re guaranteed to get the sex you want in exchange for the cash you’re putting out, whereas in the former case you can never be entirely sure when - if ever - all of those investments will lead to sex. FTR, I’ve never used a prostitute, but I’d have no problems with it under the right circumstances, but frankly, the vast majority of the time my cash will be more important to me than the sex _anyway._ Still, I see nothing wrong with people using prostitutes, nor do I see any fundamental flaws in the clients for using those services or in the hookers themselves. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/91 "2012-03-07T17:17:58Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > You’ve been told repeatedly that it’s not about wanting a GF or an act of despreration. But you STILL keep going there. > > . Are you kidding me? The thread linked to called Ask The Guy Who Frequents Prostitutes what reason does he give when pressed on it…that he doesn’t have a GF and isn’t worthy of a relationship :smack: So sure no man has ever given that as a reason stupid as it is. * * * The threesome thing was something I had never thought about, hell knowing how many times one partner pressures the other into this and the aftermath I’d say hookers are the only way to go on this one. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/92 "2012-03-07T17:23:40Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > This just in: > [Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam](http://www.theonion.com/articles/housewife-charged-in-sexforsecurity-scam,948/) (yes, it’s an Onion article.) > > 😃 Well I have to disagree with that, I won’t say there aren’t some marriages that are like that but if you think all hetero relationships or marriages are the male paying for access to pussy you have a sad and incorrect view of the world. So those times when my wife was the sole source of support due to no fault of my own, and the time when it was a fault of my own, was I the prostitute? 😕 Of course we are both getting SOMETHING out it or we wouldn’t be together, but its not a clear cut one way transactional customer/merchant thing. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/93 "2012-03-07T18:39:21Z")
Not a lot of women are willing to put on the furry suit and speak only in growls and hisses. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/94 "2012-03-07T18:40:35Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > … > > Because sometimes you don’t feel like going to the store, coming back home, making the patties, slicing the onion, and all that crap. And, my burgers never quite come out like the one’s at Joe’s Restaurant anyway. So, tonight, screw it, I’m going to splurge a little and eat at Joe’s! My inner-sixth grader wants to say: “Joe who?” _“Joe Mama!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/95 "2012-03-07T19:22:51Z")
All sex involves some degree of negotiation and compromise. Let me flip this around: A woman wants to be in a sexual relationship. For her, it may not be all about sex, but sex is/will be an important part of it. She’ll have to put effort in attracting the right kind of guy, trusting her gut that he is who he claims to be, building up trust with him and her comfort with it. Maybe she’ll have sex on the first date, maybe it will be in six months. Maybe she really loves some position but its difficult for her partner. Maybe she wants sex every night but her partner is away or tired some days of the week. Even a loving relationship, we must compromise, negotiate with each other what we want and what we are willing to do. Prostitution streamlines all of this. Negotiation boils down to what the prostitute is doing for how long at what price. But generally, the business is about giving a guy what he wants when he wants it. For that, some men are willing to pay for the convenience. I read books on prostitution and what was interesting is that even though these guys are paying an hour for anything-goes, they often just spend 15 minutes pumping away missionary style, blow their load, and leave. For them, its about the convenience “I’m in the mood for coitus, and do not care about much else”. Sure they could get laid for les than x per hour, but in that very moment? We pay a premium for convenience. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/96 "2012-03-07T22:52:10Z")
> [@grude](#): > > It is **difficult to imagine the person so absolutely lacking in any personality or charm or physical attraction** that their only option for sexual relations is to pay for it. With all the discussion in this thread to date, and despite the tangential side-tracks, I think the OP is answered. OP can’t imagine getting it up for a whore, and his only picture of a prostitute is the sleazy street-walker whore standing on the corner (from the OP). The answers to his question, to summarize, are: – No, not all prostitutes are like that. – Many males have a really powerful urge to get laid. – Yes, Virginia, there really are many males that simply can’t get any, for various reasons. – Yes, **Grude** , among such males there really are: – – (a) Many who really want and will only accept a relation that has something more than bare naked pussy to it. – – (b) Many who really want a relation that has something more than bare naked pussy to it, but failing that, will get that B.N.P. however they can, often by bare naked $$$, and yes they can get it up for that. – – (c) Many who really aren’t all that insistent on having a real relation, or who don’t care for that at all (witness **Polar Bear** ) are are quite content to get all their needs bought with bare naked $$$. At the risk of being redundant (all the above having been thrashed out in this thread already), I wanted to add this, with the following quote: Yes, there really are plenty of people “so absolutely lacking in any personality or charm”. Here’s one perception of such a person: > [@Ladies, do you find Rick Santorum sexy](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-find-rick-santorum-sexy/354825/10): > > Rick Santorum looks like that guy in high school who… well, you couldn’t put your finger on it. He didn’t have some awful skin disease. He wasn’t shunned as a nerd. He didn’t have horrible coke-bottle glasses, his mother didn’t cut his hair with an upturned bowl, you couldn’t smell his breath at twenty paces, he didn’t chew with his mouth open, and he didn’t snort when he laughed. And yet, and yet… _he couldn’t get a date to save his life._ > > Not unattractive, but not even in the same zip code as sexy. But wait, you say! Even THAT guy somehow got married and had a family. Well… There are plenty others who simply never manage anything like that. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/97 "2012-03-07T23:16:21Z")
[_Paying For it_ by Chester Brown](http://www.amazon.com/Paying-Chester-Brown/dp/1770460489) is a graphic novel with the premise of explaining the appeal of patronizing prostitutes, accompanied by an underlying libertarian-leaning argument for justifying the legalization of prostitution. From the Amazon description: > [@](#): > > In June 1996 Brown’s then girlfriend broke up with him. After three years of celibacy and his growing conviction that romantic love is destructively possessive, Brown works up the courage to see a legal prostitute and finds the “burden” of anxiety over whether to pursue a relationship with any particular woman forever removed. > > … > > A lengthy appendix arguing that a system where paying for sex is preferable to romance-based methods is unlikely to persuade many readers. [A review from the Chicago Reader.](http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/chester-brown-paying-for-it/Content?oid=3724333) ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2012, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/98 "2012-03-08T07:21:50Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Trolling for streetwalkers is a good way to get yourself arrested by an undercover cop (or a non-undercover cop hiding nearby). I was riding home from a concert through a neighborhood that was notorious for the number of streetwalkers with a friend who offered this sage piece of advice: _If they’ve got all their teeth, they’re five-o._ ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/99 "2012-03-08T15:32:50Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > I’ve heard it said that you don’t pay the prostitute for sex. You pay her to \*leave \*after the sex… I came in here to say the same thing. While he probably isn’t the origin of the quote, Charlie Sheen supposedly once said on the topic of prostitutes: “I don’t pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.” ---
**Author:** ![jharvey963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/54ee81/32.png) [@jharvey963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jharvey963)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795/100 "2012-03-08T23:07:35Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > I came in here to say the same thing. While he probably isn’t the origin of the quote, Charlie Sheen supposedly once said on the topic of prostitutes: “I don’t pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.” Actually, I’ve heard it put more succinctly, and wittily (is that a word???): “I don’t pay them to cum. I pay them to go.” J. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-allure-of-hiring-a-prostitute/614795.md?page=6)